Anyone who reads my LJ either regularly or just for telly-related stuff knows (I hope) that I try to offer a considered opinion and to express my views politely.
But seriously. What the fuck was that?
I didn't care that the title was a complete red herring - that's pretty much Moffat's MO anyway so I was expecting that.
And Matt Smith was utterly brilliant, especially in the scene when he's in his tails and is doing his dying drunk giraffe act.
It was great to see Caitlin Blackwood again - oh, and the extra lengthy shot of Donna when the Doctor asks for more guilt!
But the rest of it was a complete mess.
I've come to the conclusion that, much as I've enjoyed Alex Kingston's performance as River, I'm not at all interested in her story any more. It's been strung out for too long and while we finally got a few answers this episode, it's a case of too little, too late. I think it's safe to say that I'm looking forward to the standalones that are going to come between this and the finale more than I am to the finale and what I hope will turn out to be the denouement of this two series arc.
I mean, how many times can the Doctor die in the course of one set of thirteen episodes? He died in the first episode of 6a and now again in the first episode of 6b. A curious and possibly deliberate symmetry.
Amy has a bestest friend that we've never heard of, until now (I was unspoiled, but as soon as that flashy car turned up, it was obvious what was coming) - and what on earth was the point of the miniature people? Other than the point of being there for exposition? (They were a good idea - I hope we get to see them again!)
Other good bits were Rory smacking Hitler, and "River's" gleeful discovery of her new body. "I'm concentrating on a dress size!" may be one of the best regeneration lines ever.
But the "you know how I got the gun and I know you know" flashbacks were overdone as was "River's" girlishness. It was funny for a while, but it got old fast.
And surely the Doctor knows the answer to the question is 42.
There was an interesting parallel though, that the Doctor whispered something to River which resulted in her saving his life, where before she'd been all for killing him; given that in their final meeting in the Library, it's her whispering something to him that convinces him that he needs to trust her.
ETA: I also have a real problem with (and dislike for) the idea that one can seemingly create a being with Time Lord-like attributes simply by the act of conception taking place while in the Vortex. If creating a(n almost) Time Lord is that simple, why aren't more people doing it?!
I think it also cheapens what the Eighth (we assume) Doctor had to do in the Time War, and what the Ninth and Tenth Doctors had to live with.
There is, however, one really HUGE thing that is bugging me. At the end, when Rory, Amy and the Doctor return to the TARDIS after leaving River in the hospital, he tells them (I can't remember the exact words, so I'm paraphrasing) that they have to let her go now. Please correct me if I'm wrong, or if I've drawn the wrong inference, but is he saying that they have to accept they're never going to see their baby again? That because they know who she grows up to be and that she's alive and okay, that they have to, in effect, abandon the search for their child and accept that they're not going to be able to be parents to her?
I've only seen the episode once, and in a room full of people, so I could be wrong. But if I AM right, then that strikes me as incredibly callous. We don't know how long it is since baby Melody was taken away from her parents, but that doesn't matter one jot. Amy had a baby - her and Rory's flesh and blood and it wouldn't matter how long, the loss would still hurt like hell. They're still going to miss seeing their child grow up, an idea which, I'm sure, would rip out the heart of any parent.
And if that's what he was saying, I'm bemused as to why there was no argument from either Amy or Rory.
I know it's a TV show. And I'm struggling to articulate my thoughts here, but it strikes me that if you're going to include a pregnancy and a child, then you have to include some reasonably appropriate emotional content with it. Amy's behaviour in 6x07 struck the right note. Not so here.
I'm sure there are people out there who will think I'm making too much of this. But if I've interpreted the Doctor's remarks correctly, then it's a cop-out. A nice, convenient way to have Amy and Rory stay with the Doctor and continue to go adventuring without having to worry about dirty nappies and feeding times.
A very underwhelming start to 6b.