(no subject)
I just... I don't know anymore. I feel like such a jerk... especially because guys are apparently flirting with me, and I don't even notice. I've never been good with this kind of thing. How do I explain I am truly not interested in a relationship AT ALL right now, when no one believes me?
"Oh, everyone says that. But come on, you're a teenager."
So? I mean, I think I would know whether or not I am interested in dating right now, right? Apparently not...
Well, tonight was fun while sucking at the same time. I was hanging out with a bunch of friends, and the nerve in my shoulder started pinching. It hurt like none of your business, and one of the guys I was hanging out with started giving me a massage to try and help me out. Well, another guy got *jealous* that the first was massaging me, so end result? Both massaging me at once, and man, was I awkward. I... I hate this.
Why can't I just be friends with a guy without having to worry about this? Why do I have to feel like a huge jerk because I don't see this? I hate hurting people's feelings in any way, shape, or form, so... yeah.
I give up, here, God. I don't want this anymore... it's keeping me from where I need to be. Help me, please, someone...
Speech-Off tomorrow, as well. I hope to do well... should be easy, but... yeah. Prayers and well wishes accepted. I'm nervous, even though I try to play it off. i mean, I got into this thing without even trying, but now, if I want to win, does this mean I should worry? What does this mean for me?
I'm gonna try to sleep while taking Tylenol. My head is too full.
"Oh, everyone says that. But come on, you're a teenager."
So? I mean, I think I would know whether or not I am interested in dating right now, right? Apparently not...
Well, tonight was fun while sucking at the same time. I was hanging out with a bunch of friends, and the nerve in my shoulder started pinching. It hurt like none of your business, and one of the guys I was hanging out with started giving me a massage to try and help me out. Well, another guy got *jealous* that the first was massaging me, so end result? Both massaging me at once, and man, was I awkward. I... I hate this.
Why can't I just be friends with a guy without having to worry about this? Why do I have to feel like a huge jerk because I don't see this? I hate hurting people's feelings in any way, shape, or form, so... yeah.
I give up, here, God. I don't want this anymore... it's keeping me from where I need to be. Help me, please, someone...
Speech-Off tomorrow, as well. I hope to do well... should be easy, but... yeah. Prayers and well wishes accepted. I'm nervous, even though I try to play it off. i mean, I got into this thing without even trying, but now, if I want to win, does this mean I should worry? What does this mean for me?
I'm gonna try to sleep while taking Tylenol. My head is too full.