Mildred ... almost done right?
So, on Monday I called Dell to find out when I could expect to get Mildred back. They looked and told me that I would have her back no later than this weekend. Cool. I was kind of hoping to get her back by Friday, but they did say the weekend and when she didn't show up on Friday that was just fine. Until I get a phone call at 7:30 PM Friday night from FedEx saying I had a package ready for pick up. They said that I was not currently living at the address the package was shipped to. Anyone want to guess what address they sent it to? If you guess the fucking hell hole, you'd be right! Luckily they didn't just LEAVE her there, and whomever they spoke with told them that I was not living there.
So I get to drive my happy ass down to FedEx (45 minute drive, btw) to pick her up. Before I leave this morning to get her I decided I would call Dell and let them know how much they fucked up. I picked up the phone to call them at 8:00 AM. First I cannot get their automated system to direct me to Customer Service. I finally say fuck it and connect to tech support. 15 minutes later tech support picks up, I describe the problem (just to make sure I'm contacting the right person) and they transfer me to Customer Care. I proceed to wait another 15 minutes for Customer Care to answer their phone. They tell me that this is a technical support issue and transfer me back to tech support. Tech support answers 15 minutes later with the response that this is a customer care issue... as I'm asking to speak to a manager they send me back to customer care. Another 20 minutes on hold and Customer Care picks up. I immediately ask for a supervisor. They inform me that they need a little bit of information in order to put me in queue for their manager. Fine. I describe the problem AGAIN. They say, "I'm sorry ma'am, this is a technical support issue." Before I can get a word in edge wise they transfer me back to technical support. Technical support FINALLY answers their phone (30 minute wait this time) and I REFUSE to say a word until I talk to a manager. I finally ger a manager on the phone who tells me this is a customer care issue, and that this is what they will need to do. She proceeds to give me the name of the form that needs to be completed and tells me how to take care of the issue. Then she transfers me to the head of the queue for customer care. They answer on the second ring. I speak with the person who answered the phone and tell her I'd like to talk to her supervisor. She puts me on hold ofr about 30 seconds, comes back and says that her manager is on another call and it will be a little while. If I would just give her the information she could start processing the issue. So I give her the information. And she imediately pulls up the correct form and takes care of my issue, no questions asked, no transfering me back to tech support.
At 9:30 I get off the phone and head down to the valley in order to pick up Mildred from FedEx. I get there and there's no line whats so ever... also no one standing at the counter. I call out and a service representative comes out to help me. He assures me that my package is in the warehouse, just give him a minute to find it. He goes into the back ... comes back out, stares at the computer then goes back again. Five minutes later he comes out of the back and looks at the computer again, "It's not where it's supposed to be..." and goes in the back. Another 5 minutes and he comes back with my package in hand. "I'm sorry ma'am. I don't know why it was there, but here she is. Please sign here." Great. I sign for her and leave.
Now I'm home. I'm getting ready to put the various pieces that I kept back into mildred. I put in my hard drive. Then open the back case to put my memory into it. ... and my daughter modem card is not there. WTF. So I pick up the phone to call Dell back ... again. I'm on hold for 20 minutes before they answer the phone. I get a technition and describe the problem. "I need to ask you a few questions, ma'am." Fine. Shoot. "How do you know the card is missing ma'am? Can you not connect to the internet? " No fucker, I can connect high speed, but I can't connect with dial up BECAUSE THE FUCKING CARD IS MISSING. "How do you know the card is missing ma'am?" Because I'm looking at the slot where it belongs and there's NOTHING THERE. "OK Ma'am. Is your computer heating up? Is it hot when you turn it on?" No... why are you asking? "Becuase sometimes missing hardware can cause the computer to overheat." I'll buy that if what's missing is the fucking fan, not if it's the fucking modem that's missing. Whatever. "OK Ma'am. Thank you for being hold. [sic]. I will send you a box so you may send your system into the depot so we can repair this issue." Oh no no no no no. I do NOT want to send my system into the depot. I JUST FUCKING GOT IT BACK. You can send me the card to here. I do not need a technition. I do not need your help. She will NOT be returning to your depot for this problem. "If you send it into the depot ma'am, we can run extensive tests on your system." NO fucker. Send me the card and we'll be done. "OK ma'am please be on hold." He comes back "Can you connect to the internet ma'am?" Yes, I can connect wirelessly. "I would like to remotely connect to your computer in order to check your system, please." Um no. Let's not and say we didn't. 1) I've got senstive information on my computer, and you do not get to have access to it. 2) You dumb asses fucked her up the last time you connected remotely. I will not allow you to connect to her. All I need is the chip. "Ok ma'am. Please hold." He comes back. I will be shipping you the card directly. Please hold while I set up this dispatch." He puts me on hold, comes back and we go through the process of setting up the dispatch. "Before you go ma'am, my manger would like to speak with you." GREAT. Let me talk to him. I explain the problem to the manager and he's very appologetic for the entire issue. And assures me that from now on he'll be handling the case personally. Thank you for chosing Dell.
So I get to drive my happy ass down to FedEx (45 minute drive, btw) to pick her up. Before I leave this morning to get her I decided I would call Dell and let them know how much they fucked up. I picked up the phone to call them at 8:00 AM. First I cannot get their automated system to direct me to Customer Service. I finally say fuck it and connect to tech support. 15 minutes later tech support picks up, I describe the problem (just to make sure I'm contacting the right person) and they transfer me to Customer Care. I proceed to wait another 15 minutes for Customer Care to answer their phone. They tell me that this is a technical support issue and transfer me back to tech support. Tech support answers 15 minutes later with the response that this is a customer care issue... as I'm asking to speak to a manager they send me back to customer care. Another 20 minutes on hold and Customer Care picks up. I immediately ask for a supervisor. They inform me that they need a little bit of information in order to put me in queue for their manager. Fine. I describe the problem AGAIN. They say, "I'm sorry ma'am, this is a technical support issue." Before I can get a word in edge wise they transfer me back to technical support. Technical support FINALLY answers their phone (30 minute wait this time) and I REFUSE to say a word until I talk to a manager. I finally ger a manager on the phone who tells me this is a customer care issue, and that this is what they will need to do. She proceeds to give me the name of the form that needs to be completed and tells me how to take care of the issue. Then she transfers me to the head of the queue for customer care. They answer on the second ring. I speak with the person who answered the phone and tell her I'd like to talk to her supervisor. She puts me on hold ofr about 30 seconds, comes back and says that her manager is on another call and it will be a little while. If I would just give her the information she could start processing the issue. So I give her the information. And she imediately pulls up the correct form and takes care of my issue, no questions asked, no transfering me back to tech support.
At 9:30 I get off the phone and head down to the valley in order to pick up Mildred from FedEx. I get there and there's no line whats so ever... also no one standing at the counter. I call out and a service representative comes out to help me. He assures me that my package is in the warehouse, just give him a minute to find it. He goes into the back ... comes back out, stares at the computer then goes back again. Five minutes later he comes out of the back and looks at the computer again, "It's not where it's supposed to be..." and goes in the back. Another 5 minutes and he comes back with my package in hand. "I'm sorry ma'am. I don't know why it was there, but here she is. Please sign here." Great. I sign for her and leave.
Now I'm home. I'm getting ready to put the various pieces that I kept back into mildred. I put in my hard drive. Then open the back case to put my memory into it. ... and my daughter modem card is not there. WTF. So I pick up the phone to call Dell back ... again. I'm on hold for 20 minutes before they answer the phone. I get a technition and describe the problem. "I need to ask you a few questions, ma'am." Fine. Shoot. "How do you know the card is missing ma'am? Can you not connect to the internet? " No fucker, I can connect high speed, but I can't connect with dial up BECAUSE THE FUCKING CARD IS MISSING. "How do you know the card is missing ma'am?" Because I'm looking at the slot where it belongs and there's NOTHING THERE. "OK Ma'am. Is your computer heating up? Is it hot when you turn it on?" No... why are you asking? "Becuase sometimes missing hardware can cause the computer to overheat." I'll buy that if what's missing is the fucking fan, not if it's the fucking modem that's missing. Whatever. "OK Ma'am. Thank you for being hold. [sic]. I will send you a box so you may send your system into the depot so we can repair this issue." Oh no no no no no. I do NOT want to send my system into the depot. I JUST FUCKING GOT IT BACK. You can send me the card to here. I do not need a technition. I do not need your help. She will NOT be returning to your depot for this problem. "If you send it into the depot ma'am, we can run extensive tests on your system." NO fucker. Send me the card and we'll be done. "OK ma'am please be on hold." He comes back "Can you connect to the internet ma'am?" Yes, I can connect wirelessly. "I would like to remotely connect to your computer in order to check your system, please." Um no. Let's not and say we didn't. 1) I've got senstive information on my computer, and you do not get to have access to it. 2) You dumb asses fucked her up the last time you connected remotely. I will not allow you to connect to her. All I need is the chip. "Ok ma'am. Please hold." He comes back. I will be shipping you the card directly. Please hold while I set up this dispatch." He puts me on hold, comes back and we go through the process of setting up the dispatch. "Before you go ma'am, my manger would like to speak with you." GREAT. Let me talk to him. I explain the problem to the manager and he's very appologetic for the entire issue. And assures me that from now on he'll be handling the case personally. Thank you for chosing Dell.