Caught up.
We'll always have too much on our plate. If we are any sort of responsible, we'll always have errands, bills, things to do, people to see, boring stuff we can't escape, interesting stuff we don't have enough time for, and weariness to deal with. Always.
It's been a tough few weeks. I am learning so much more about myself than ever before, and I am even more aware of things I have to change. Procrastination, getting distracted, being forgetful, and disappearing when I get overwhelmed. I am a champion at that. When I get it in my head that it is all too much, I'm gone. It's not necessarily always good, but that's just how I handle things. Clean up your own mess, deal with your own problems, ask for help only when you're stumped and choose the best solution, all on your own.
The problem is sometimes you only see YOUR problems and forget that a whole other world exists outside of you. True, we need to deal with what we have to deal with. But it is necessary to keep things in perspective.
Recently I sat down with International Justice Mission, a group that deals with victims of sexual abuse, human trafficking, slavery, prostitution. It helped me remember that there are other things going out there. It helped me remember why I am alive.
One of the best (and worst) things I learned at the meeting was the term "Rape for Profit" - which is what they call prostitution. It hit me so hard that I had to turn my eyes away. I knew I had to do SOMETHING. I had to get out there and be around these young people and tell them that no matter what they've been through, they can still rise above. The stories are all horrible, and real, and unique. And they happen everyday.
My heart broke at that meeting. And I know it will continue to break again and again as I begin working with them. But the heartbreak, I can deal with. Not doing anything, now THAT is unforgivable.
I have to stop thinking of myself all the time. True, I'm not in a good place right now. So what. It doesn't mean I'm paralyzed and cannot move. I will continue to think of the good things - such as the privilege and honor it is for me to be able to serve IJM's clients. In whatever capacity I have. That's just the way it's going to be.
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Help me remember, Lord, that there is so much work to do in this world (and that I'm not supposed to do it all! Heehee). Help me remember that one of the greatest roles in life is to be a good spouse and a good parent, something I prepare for even today. This means that I will raise my children up to know how loved they are, and how important their lives are. Help me remember that we always have something to give, even when we think we have nothing. Help me remember that life is about our relationships, and not our achievements. Help me remember that I can do nothing without You. And help me remember that my strength comes from You and only You.