art blahblah.
sometimes i get scared that im starting to hate art.
then i think maybe its just toronto.
theres not that much here that inspires me.
on saturday, i had breakfast/coffee with rhonda, our curator for april, and a friend of hers, iris haeussler, with whom she thought i might get along. they are both very sweet and open, so though i felt young and stupid (as always) i also felt very much at ease. we ended up going on a jaunt through the galleries. as it happens, i had already seen many of the shows, but we also went into a bunch of the commercial galleries that i dont usually frequent.
there was a painter, whose name i cant recall, nor the gallery, but it made me want to paint. very little else sticks in my memory. i came to the conclusion that i like art when it inspires me to make art, and very little here does that. which is frustrating. critique or no, if youre not moved, then whats the point?
but i enjoyed the day. i was tired and grumpy after, cause of the cold, oncoming sinus headache, and oncoming period (wtf? im not used to gettting tired and grumpy for that, but there it is), but i didnt even notice the afternoon passing.
maybe its because its my last semester of coursework, but im finding it very difficult to give a shit about writing papers and such. i want to be in the studio, working, not researching. so instead i feel like im slacking on all fronts. sue will probably kick my ass tomorrow for not having accomplished more. but i just want to be left alone for awhile, i think. i want to focus. cant until after december 15th. arg.
i miss having a daily practice. even if it was just sitting there for a few hours, reading, or drawing bugs, or painting my silly paintings... things that had no direct link to the "work". they were more important than i knew. no wonder its hard to focus. i just dont have that here. too many other obligations, and no communal presence drawing me to the studio. i would go there as a default, and then plan my day. the studio was a base of operations, not an afterthought. even when i wasnt actively using it, it was the place to which i could return and regroup.
and there were interesting things to look at and people to talk to, more often than not. milling about, working, drinking coffee or tea (or beer). talking about work, or pollitics, or where to get cheap supplies, or local gossip.... its silly to be nostalgic. i just believe that it should be possible to have that again, but i dont know how. i guess its what i want from banff. which means ill probably be disappointed.
i still dream of a co-op studio. just a regular house, or a floor of a warehouse, with shared and single-occupant studios, communal bath and kitchen.... where people really do interact, doors are open.... people are there, working, or interacting in each others spaces. cause that is work. its not that art=life bullshit. i dont buy that, frankly. the total art life is great for some, but going home to something that approximates normal is not a crime against art. i dont have to live as if the 20th century never happened, or archive every spot of bird shit i see (not that there's anything wrong with that) to be an artist. my life is not art. but art is a part of my life, and it doesnt seem to work as well if the two are completely separate. talking to each other is necessary to grow and progress.
then i think maybe its just toronto.
theres not that much here that inspires me.
on saturday, i had breakfast/coffee with rhonda, our curator for april, and a friend of hers, iris haeussler, with whom she thought i might get along. they are both very sweet and open, so though i felt young and stupid (as always) i also felt very much at ease. we ended up going on a jaunt through the galleries. as it happens, i had already seen many of the shows, but we also went into a bunch of the commercial galleries that i dont usually frequent.
there was a painter, whose name i cant recall, nor the gallery, but it made me want to paint. very little else sticks in my memory. i came to the conclusion that i like art when it inspires me to make art, and very little here does that. which is frustrating. critique or no, if youre not moved, then whats the point?
but i enjoyed the day. i was tired and grumpy after, cause of the cold, oncoming sinus headache, and oncoming period (wtf? im not used to gettting tired and grumpy for that, but there it is), but i didnt even notice the afternoon passing.
maybe its because its my last semester of coursework, but im finding it very difficult to give a shit about writing papers and such. i want to be in the studio, working, not researching. so instead i feel like im slacking on all fronts. sue will probably kick my ass tomorrow for not having accomplished more. but i just want to be left alone for awhile, i think. i want to focus. cant until after december 15th. arg.
i miss having a daily practice. even if it was just sitting there for a few hours, reading, or drawing bugs, or painting my silly paintings... things that had no direct link to the "work". they were more important than i knew. no wonder its hard to focus. i just dont have that here. too many other obligations, and no communal presence drawing me to the studio. i would go there as a default, and then plan my day. the studio was a base of operations, not an afterthought. even when i wasnt actively using it, it was the place to which i could return and regroup.
and there were interesting things to look at and people to talk to, more often than not. milling about, working, drinking coffee or tea (or beer). talking about work, or pollitics, or where to get cheap supplies, or local gossip.... its silly to be nostalgic. i just believe that it should be possible to have that again, but i dont know how. i guess its what i want from banff. which means ill probably be disappointed.
i still dream of a co-op studio. just a regular house, or a floor of a warehouse, with shared and single-occupant studios, communal bath and kitchen.... where people really do interact, doors are open.... people are there, working, or interacting in each others spaces. cause that is work. its not that art=life bullshit. i dont buy that, frankly. the total art life is great for some, but going home to something that approximates normal is not a crime against art. i dont have to live as if the 20th century never happened, or archive every spot of bird shit i see (not that there's anything wrong with that) to be an artist. my life is not art. but art is a part of my life, and it doesnt seem to work as well if the two are completely separate. talking to each other is necessary to grow and progress.