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things i miss in missouri: friends and fam, sky. schlafly.
things i do not miss: cars, lack of culture.
"well, sometimes i feel bad wearing the sheepskin coat into the vegan restaurant, but it was used and free and its so warm..."
"wait, theres a vegan restaurant in toronto?"
"more than one, even."
"wow."
you cant get quinoa in bulk here. but you can get it, so i guess thats something.
nobody walks here. i miss it already.
we did have a good discussion about biking in town, which most of my friends do to a greater or lesser extent, even though its hard. so that made me happy.
i miss nick, but im not sure if i wish she were here or not. its nice to be alone and spend an hour buying spices and reading the RFT. but also i feel different when shes not around. is it because shes not here, or the context of "home" and old friends? i dont know, i feel it somewhat with some of my friends in toronto too, but not as much. its like i want her to see this part of me, because it feels good, but i think if she were here, it wouldnt be the same. we wouldnt be having this conversation, because shed interject and change it. some heisenburg thing. not bad, just different. on the other hand, my friends are not exactly seeing the person i am in toronto. i feel more gregarious, for one thing. i also feel different and distanced from my old friends and their lives. more every year. that makes me kind of sad too.
so i miss toronto. im buying things for my friends there, even though i didnt bring anything for anyone here. partly cause i have the time and nothing better to do. but also partly cause i have no idea what would please my friends here anymore. its not like i see things and think of them, because our daily lives are so separate. geoff and i were catching up, and i had to go back almost two years. the last two years for me is a lot. bless him, the biggest change is that the woman hes been seeing since around the time i moved to TO just moved in.
it wrong of me to fervently hope that catching up on more than a year of my life will always take awhile? that i will never be able to some it up in a few short sentences? im not saying nothing has changed for him or that his life is boring, its just not the choose-your-own-adventure that my life has been. so i feel like i dominate conversation.
im looking forward to NYC though (dates chosen! jan 23 until whenever the budget runs out, probly 4-7 days). i like being away, and being here makes me excited to go somewhere ive never been. with more interesting stuff.
now, time to buy underwear, and a blanket that feels eerily like a cat.
things i do not miss: cars, lack of culture.
"well, sometimes i feel bad wearing the sheepskin coat into the vegan restaurant, but it was used and free and its so warm..."
"wait, theres a vegan restaurant in toronto?"
"more than one, even."
"wow."
you cant get quinoa in bulk here. but you can get it, so i guess thats something.
nobody walks here. i miss it already.
we did have a good discussion about biking in town, which most of my friends do to a greater or lesser extent, even though its hard. so that made me happy.
i miss nick, but im not sure if i wish she were here or not. its nice to be alone and spend an hour buying spices and reading the RFT. but also i feel different when shes not around. is it because shes not here, or the context of "home" and old friends? i dont know, i feel it somewhat with some of my friends in toronto too, but not as much. its like i want her to see this part of me, because it feels good, but i think if she were here, it wouldnt be the same. we wouldnt be having this conversation, because shed interject and change it. some heisenburg thing. not bad, just different. on the other hand, my friends are not exactly seeing the person i am in toronto. i feel more gregarious, for one thing. i also feel different and distanced from my old friends and their lives. more every year. that makes me kind of sad too.
so i miss toronto. im buying things for my friends there, even though i didnt bring anything for anyone here. partly cause i have the time and nothing better to do. but also partly cause i have no idea what would please my friends here anymore. its not like i see things and think of them, because our daily lives are so separate. geoff and i were catching up, and i had to go back almost two years. the last two years for me is a lot. bless him, the biggest change is that the woman hes been seeing since around the time i moved to TO just moved in.
it wrong of me to fervently hope that catching up on more than a year of my life will always take awhile? that i will never be able to some it up in a few short sentences? im not saying nothing has changed for him or that his life is boring, its just not the choose-your-own-adventure that my life has been. so i feel like i dominate conversation.
im looking forward to NYC though (dates chosen! jan 23 until whenever the budget runs out, probly 4-7 days). i like being away, and being here makes me excited to go somewhere ive never been. with more interesting stuff.
now, time to buy underwear, and a blanket that feels eerily like a cat.