Run down . . .

[cavere]

Everyone is concerned, even my pa. Sometimes I won't wake up to my alarm clocks, and I become violent whenever I'm under pressure. This semester I only took 8 courses, which I believe I handled fairly well. Next semester it's 10. My agreement with the dean was that if I kept my 4.0 gpa after 8 classes, then she'd sign off on 10. 30 credits, plus an immense amount of lab hours. I look at myself in the mirror and think of my future, how it's so important to me . . . how I have these deadlines. Life is catching up with me, and I need to get through this as quickly as possible. Could I have just taken the classes that I owe? Could I take a three week break for the winterim? Absolutely not. The additional classes are vital. I fulfilled all my electives back when I was fifteen years old, but now that I am approaching eighteen I feel the greatest need to insure the fact that I learn as much as possible, as quickly as I can. I missed out while I was a child . . . so let me correct myself, perhaps I am trying to catch up with life. I am determined to do this, and I will do whatever I can to not just fly by, but to excel, to do better, to surpass expectations and to be the best. The cost may be my mentality and physical health, but it'll be all too soon before I am on my own without the help of anyone. This is not about overachieving, this is about preparation. I have lives which are very important to me which are within my future and are approaching quickly. I am investing in humanity.

If I can't do something great, then they will . . . and if they can't, then the next ones will. Either way, whatever I do now counts towards that, and this is all that matters.