Nov 20, 2005 20:00
For my boys: Angel, Charles, Lorne, Spike and Wesley;
I've written this thing about ten times now. It's never enough, and it won't be. I don't know how much I can or should tell you, but I couldn't not write this.
So. In your world, I'm dead. I get that, even though I'm not precisely dead yet where I am. I'm sorry I couldn't come with the others, but I'm not sure it's possible, or a good idea even if I could. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for the big showdown. I'm sure you'll kick some demon ass for me, though.
I'd written this all out individually, but there was too much to say, and not enough paper, and I kept crying all over the page and messing it up. So, to all of you: I love you. Everything else all comes back to that, really. It's why I stayed when I should have left, when leaving would have been safer. You've all been the best friends I could have hoped for. Some of you were more, at times. I'm sorry we didn't have longer, but I'm not sorry I stayed to help you fight all those times. I'll never be sorry for that.
Please be careful.
Now go to work.