In need of
I need a break... I need some time where i'm not sick and am not on call. I think i'm having postpartum depression... but mostly becuase I just don't feel good and my joints alllll need to pop or something.
It has gotten to where at night when Kathiryn won't go to sleep but I can barely keep my eyes open... I cry... just a little though. I won't really let myself cry except when I watch Judging Amy.
I tell myself this is all temporary, but then again I don't want it to go by too fast either. It is so hard to divide my attention... I want to dote on my baby, but then I feel guilty about it if Reuben is in the room.
He is in love with baby sister one day and the next he wants to step on her! omg. I really wish my mom was here, but Grandma is doing a great job of helping me feel validated. I have a lot of help[ and I'm so glad for it too... but it makes me mad that I even need the help. I don't even need to write everything down... it is all mundane... and normal. i'm just tired. physically and mentally. I would love to go away for just a weekend. I think I will when we get some money... heh
HA
It has gotten to where at night when Kathiryn won't go to sleep but I can barely keep my eyes open... I cry... just a little though. I won't really let myself cry except when I watch Judging Amy.
I tell myself this is all temporary, but then again I don't want it to go by too fast either. It is so hard to divide my attention... I want to dote on my baby, but then I feel guilty about it if Reuben is in the room.
He is in love with baby sister one day and the next he wants to step on her! omg. I really wish my mom was here, but Grandma is doing a great job of helping me feel validated. I have a lot of help[ and I'm so glad for it too... but it makes me mad that I even need the help. I don't even need to write everything down... it is all mundane... and normal. i'm just tired. physically and mentally. I would love to go away for just a weekend. I think I will when we get some money... heh
HA