the world keeps spinning... with or without you.
I love you. I've got no illusions about you.
I have to keep reminding myself to make the most of it, this is the best time of your life.
Its times like these that I think about friends in Sydney, and I think of the memories carved out forever. I relive those times that I never want to forget. Its funny the things you think of to bring comfort in the lonliest of times. Its so tempting, almost intuitive, and very romantic to think of being in a new place, with the 'alone in a crowd' feeling. When I feel myself lulling into this introspective me, I grasp at the edge and fight against the feeling to stay inside forever. I go out and talk to people. People who don't know who I am. People who talk loudly, and often. People who I need, even if I don't want to admit to needing anyone. Its one of the hardest things I've had to do.
Thats probably the one thing that causes the most painful ache, the feeling that no one knows who I am. And even worse, the boy who doesn't even care to find out who I am because I just seem too needy, too boring, too quiet. I am just hazarding a guess here. Perhaps he didn't like the preview. Thats really hard for me to deal with. If someone didn't like the way I look, I can cope with that. I can brush that off as "I can't help the way I look" or "thats beyond my control". But what I really value is me. My personality. And if you don't like that, I'm out of options. I can't offer you anything else. I can't offer you fun all the time, or constant jokes. I can't offer you carefree, easygoing conversation. I can't offer you what I don't have.
I never liked to be held before I sleep. But it was the best sleep I've ever had.
I have to keep reminding myself to make the most of it, this is the best time of your life.
Its times like these that I think about friends in Sydney, and I think of the memories carved out forever. I relive those times that I never want to forget. Its funny the things you think of to bring comfort in the lonliest of times. Its so tempting, almost intuitive, and very romantic to think of being in a new place, with the 'alone in a crowd' feeling. When I feel myself lulling into this introspective me, I grasp at the edge and fight against the feeling to stay inside forever. I go out and talk to people. People who don't know who I am. People who talk loudly, and often. People who I need, even if I don't want to admit to needing anyone. Its one of the hardest things I've had to do.
Thats probably the one thing that causes the most painful ache, the feeling that no one knows who I am. And even worse, the boy who doesn't even care to find out who I am because I just seem too needy, too boring, too quiet. I am just hazarding a guess here. Perhaps he didn't like the preview. Thats really hard for me to deal with. If someone didn't like the way I look, I can cope with that. I can brush that off as "I can't help the way I look" or "thats beyond my control". But what I really value is me. My personality. And if you don't like that, I'm out of options. I can't offer you anything else. I can't offer you fun all the time, or constant jokes. I can't offer you carefree, easygoing conversation. I can't offer you what I don't have.
I never liked to be held before I sleep. But it was the best sleep I've ever had.