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Dear Santa,
You don't exist and I hate your holiday. But since you seem to show up here every year and grant wishes, here's mine: kill everyone on this boat. ["Except Vince and Adam" is scrawled in after the fact.]
No love,
Elle
Happy, Admiral? I wrote your stupid Christmas letter!
[private to Howie, after much hesitation]
I'm not alright.
You don't exist and I hate your holiday. But since you seem to show up here every year and grant wishes, here's mine: kill everyone on this boat. ["Except Vince and Adam" is scrawled in after the fact.]
No love,
Elle
Happy, Admiral? I wrote your stupid Christmas letter!
[private to Howie, after much hesitation]
I'm not alright.