monday
Since starting university I've learnt nothing but this repertoire of scorchin' moves. And from the goodness of my palpitant heart, I've decided to release some in order that you too are entitled to beat it out whenever the music swings high, wide and gutbucket.
Fig. I: Adopting a benign, vaguely quizzical facial expression, proceed to juggle two imaginary weights, all the while fixating eyes upon your partner as though requesting their advice on a valuable business enterprise. Feet should paddle gently along the dancefloor, with the accompanying knees to ascend approximately ten centimetres at a time. If the atmosphere gets a-steamin' then don't hesitate to whirl your partner under your arm, but do it tenderly, courteously, with a sloping spinal column on your part.
Try it at home! Arcade Fire - No Cars Go
Fig. II: Here, the officious pointing gesture wins out. Whether or not you like the song, it's the haute couture in disdain these cats are after. Mouth should be thrown scornfully ajar, with the nether lip playing occasional host to a single tooth in heated moments. Indeed, under any remotely passionate circumstance, muscle energy may additionally be expended to the neck, which ought to jerk uncomfortably to the frisk-a-frisk beat. But remember: be discerning. The little numbers that please your companions are the little numbers you ought to sit out imperiously at the bar.
Try it at home! Something so OSSOME! you haven't heard it yet, and by the time you do it will have ceased to be OSSOME!.
Fig. III: This one is top of the props with a pair of novelty specs mandatory, although second rate hangers-on will be acquitted with a glowstick. The principal gesture is derived from bodybuilding, but bodybuilding with a hot-hosin' twist: do it with the one arm. Raise it high, raise it low, raise it horizontal but most of all raise it as though it's the heaviest iron weight you ever tripped across. And you gotta be scrawny. Muscles are a no-no, and legs too developed for needle-girth jeans will be laughed out of the house. For those of you still with us, however: accompany the motion with a monotone incantation of your choice - in Nottingham, "Network - network - network fuckin' rail" has proved popular.
Try it at home! Clarky Cat - Secret Society
Fig. IV: As a general rule this clambering motion is performed best by those in the medical profession, or those gearing helplessly towards it. A nurse, for instance, may reason that an arduous day administering pills to the feeble now warrants a little infirmity on her own terms. Fear not, radiant health won't set her back long, not with this prescription to contend with. Couple of hours and she'll be scuttling along after her liver as it foxtrots the floor. Least it's got moves.
Try it at home! Justice - D.A.N.C.E.