Ode to a Familiar Place
I hate school. People are really nice though. I just hate how I'm constantly being made to feel stupid amongst a bunch of people who are probably younger than me. Tim is an exception. I hate feeling stupid when I know I'm not. I am so not stupid though I sound like it in class. Thank goodness for Sadat sometimes. Haha.
God, I miss work. So brainless and, well, fun. And Kenneth calling me Kucing! and narrowing his eyes at me when he saves my ass again. And maybe even Kat's shouting. Jenny and Joanne. And smoking up with Alvin and Val and bitching. And being good at what I do. And teasing and flirting with Han Rong, hahaha. Handsome Han Rong who Logan says should act on Channel 8. Who's too nice and polite to reciprocate; only smile sheepishly everytime. And talking to the uncle downstairs who hits on me and the couple at the specs shop who would give me free sweets and shit. Shall make a mental note to visit them when I come back.
Walking around by myself with my earphones blasting music and not having to look at the roads and cross safely. The MRT. Fuck I miss the MRT. And public transport in general. And being extra nice to people by giving up seats and smiles and 'hi's and throw strangers off with my niceness. I miss air-con being everywhere and sheltered walkways. And organisation. And street lights. And sitting anywhere on the street with my friends. Doing stupid shit with them. And all our inside jokes. And making fun of people everywhere. Bursting out in laughter on the train when the whole place is dead quiet and have rows and rows of people giving us death stares.
Arab Street, I suppose? But fuck it cos shisha is dirt cheap here, seriously. Tastes almost better, too. (Mental note: Watermelon shisha to recommend friends back home.) And so are cigarettes. So much for quitting. The atmosphere, I guess. I miss quaint, little, almost-holy Arab Street :) And its delish food. And shisha till I get sick and high and we have to hold each other as we shuffle across the roads, our laughter piercing the night air. Being able to go home at 1 or 2 or even 3 in the morning, walking around the streets alone, and be 90 percent sure that I'll be able to reach home safely. In any case, the streets are safer than my own home should I come home at 3 am. I miss TV. I miss January. Not so much December. November, yes. October and September, even more so, too.
The smell of my sister's hair. Not when she comes home from school though. NOT her side of the room though. And NOT the telling her off for not tidying up, cleaning her desk, her books all over the floor, and general messiness. Kissing her entire face. And hair. Hugging her head. Hugging her to bed. Staying up late at night for mindless chats with friends and my mom popping her head into our room at 3 to give me a verbal. Even debates with my dad. My mom says she doesn't miss it, but my sister says it's too quiet around the house now, haha. My dad being such a sweetheart the last few times I saw him. My brother's bulatness. Him asking me to stand on his back. Me cracking his spine, before proceeding to jump and dance on his cushiony buttocks. My sister, again. Walking to the kitchen with our arms linked. Our mother's comments about how we're like belangkas.
HIGH SPEED INTERNET HOW THE FUCK DID I FORGET YOU. Where downloading a movie takes 2 hours AT MOST, when the timing is right. Opening up 10 tabs in one browser at a time. And still loading a Daily Show episode. Shit. Jon Stewart. Hmmm, Chat Roulette, too maybe?
Oh. My um, weird sense of fashion. And not having AS MANY people look at me with a 'what the fuck' face. (Dressing up the way I'm so used to back home gets me a lot of stares here apparently. Weather here is too damn hot to be layering all the time, too.) Work clothes. Getting compliments for my clothes. Wearing a jacket over a turtleneck and oxfords.
Simpang. Tang Tea House. Spize's Fish and Chips. Seeing everyone I know there, and then wishing we had gone some place else instead. Far East Plaza. Shopping alone. Then texting Dee, Art, Azrin, Syaf, Syida, Anu, Aishah, Ili, Fizah, EVERYONE ELSE, that I'M OUT AND ABOUT FINISHED WORK LET'S HAAAAANGGGGG PEOPLEEEEEE. No, not hang people. Hang, people.
Home-cooked food. Anything and everything that my mom could put on the table. My mom. GOSH I MISS MY MOM. And her beautiful face. The last thing she did with that face in my memory was cry. Haha. Her hugs and kisses. Her beautiful face. And how I always wondered if I was really her child cos I'm so damn ugly next to her. (Exaggeration.) I miss my girlfriends and how they make me feel like everything's gonna be okay. Great, even.
Not home. Just the idea of it.
God, I miss work. So brainless and, well, fun. And Kenneth calling me Kucing! and narrowing his eyes at me when he saves my ass again. And maybe even Kat's shouting. Jenny and Joanne. And smoking up with Alvin and Val and bitching. And being good at what I do. And teasing and flirting with Han Rong, hahaha. Handsome Han Rong who Logan says should act on Channel 8. Who's too nice and polite to reciprocate; only smile sheepishly everytime. And talking to the uncle downstairs who hits on me and the couple at the specs shop who would give me free sweets and shit. Shall make a mental note to visit them when I come back.
Walking around by myself with my earphones blasting music and not having to look at the roads and cross safely. The MRT. Fuck I miss the MRT. And public transport in general. And being extra nice to people by giving up seats and smiles and 'hi's and throw strangers off with my niceness. I miss air-con being everywhere and sheltered walkways. And organisation. And street lights. And sitting anywhere on the street with my friends. Doing stupid shit with them. And all our inside jokes. And making fun of people everywhere. Bursting out in laughter on the train when the whole place is dead quiet and have rows and rows of people giving us death stares.
Arab Street, I suppose? But fuck it cos shisha is dirt cheap here, seriously. Tastes almost better, too. (Mental note: Watermelon shisha to recommend friends back home.) And so are cigarettes. So much for quitting. The atmosphere, I guess. I miss quaint, little, almost-holy Arab Street :) And its delish food. And shisha till I get sick and high and we have to hold each other as we shuffle across the roads, our laughter piercing the night air. Being able to go home at 1 or 2 or even 3 in the morning, walking around the streets alone, and be 90 percent sure that I'll be able to reach home safely. In any case, the streets are safer than my own home should I come home at 3 am. I miss TV. I miss January. Not so much December. November, yes. October and September, even more so, too.
The smell of my sister's hair. Not when she comes home from school though. NOT her side of the room though. And NOT the telling her off for not tidying up, cleaning her desk, her books all over the floor, and general messiness. Kissing her entire face. And hair. Hugging her head. Hugging her to bed. Staying up late at night for mindless chats with friends and my mom popping her head into our room at 3 to give me a verbal. Even debates with my dad. My mom says she doesn't miss it, but my sister says it's too quiet around the house now, haha. My dad being such a sweetheart the last few times I saw him. My brother's bulatness. Him asking me to stand on his back. Me cracking his spine, before proceeding to jump and dance on his cushiony buttocks. My sister, again. Walking to the kitchen with our arms linked. Our mother's comments about how we're like belangkas.
HIGH SPEED INTERNET HOW THE FUCK DID I FORGET YOU. Where downloading a movie takes 2 hours AT MOST, when the timing is right. Opening up 10 tabs in one browser at a time. And still loading a Daily Show episode. Shit. Jon Stewart. Hmmm, Chat Roulette, too maybe?
Oh. My um, weird sense of fashion. And not having AS MANY people look at me with a 'what the fuck' face. (Dressing up the way I'm so used to back home gets me a lot of stares here apparently. Weather here is too damn hot to be layering all the time, too.) Work clothes. Getting compliments for my clothes. Wearing a jacket over a turtleneck and oxfords.
Simpang. Tang Tea House. Spize's Fish and Chips. Seeing everyone I know there, and then wishing we had gone some place else instead. Far East Plaza. Shopping alone. Then texting Dee, Art, Azrin, Syaf, Syida, Anu, Aishah, Ili, Fizah, EVERYONE ELSE, that I'M OUT AND ABOUT FINISHED WORK LET'S HAAAAANGGGGG PEOPLEEEEEE. No, not hang people. Hang, people.
Home-cooked food. Anything and everything that my mom could put on the table. My mom. GOSH I MISS MY MOM. And her beautiful face. The last thing she did with that face in my memory was cry. Haha. Her hugs and kisses. Her beautiful face. And how I always wondered if I was really her child cos I'm so damn ugly next to her. (Exaggeration.) I miss my girlfriends and how they make me feel like everything's gonna be okay. Great, even.
Not home. Just the idea of it.