His story. My story.
Gaijin - The Japanese word for "foreigner". Literally translated it means "outside person". I've always used this as the working title for the story I want to tell. I have had bits and pieces of it floating around in my head forever. I've always envisioned writing a very Michner-esque novel about the dynasty that spawned me. The complete serendipity of two families a world away, so completely different, and yet surprisingly just the same, that come together. What are the odds? I think it's time to get it all out.
I lost my dad this year and it is to date probably the single most devastating event in my life. I don't know that anyone is ever ready or can be, but I wasn't the least bit prepared. This possibility was not one I had seriously considered and refused to accept. My father's passing has defined what profound loss means for me and for my family. I'm not sure I will ever recover, there is no new normal for us, but this has reminded me that I wish I would have told his story when he was still here to read it. This is a regret I have to carry and I cannot fix.
I will not add to it though, I will tell the story and finish it in the coming year. So Gaijin, this story in my heart that wants to be told, is so aptly named. It may be the only single word that describes all aspects of this story, my life, my background, my history, my current situation. I am always on the outside looking in. Even surrounded by people and loved ones, I am apart, but I am comfortable here. I never see this as a bad thing or something I should be ashamed to feel. It is my badge of honor. It defines courage. It captures loss. It is filled with love. It was quintessentially, his story. And now it is my story.