Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
This semester is already wearing on me. I'm not quite sure what it is.
I was hoping this semester wouldn't be as much work as the previous, even though I have just as many classes with just a couple more credits. The Gen Eds I'm taking this semester just require too much. It's quite lame actually. The call them Gen Eds for a reason. It's supposed to give you a smattering of a topic. Biology makes me do a bunch of shit I really don't care about. I'm germinating seeds in my room, writing tons of papers for a non-writing intensive class, and I'm not enjoying any of it really.
My American Racial Minority class is also pissing me off. A bunch more writing and I have to attend events that I probably won't find time to go to. I'm also worried about failing these classes. I don't know when this problem started developing, but I'm suddenly started questioning my ability to pass classes, especially these Gen Eds. Maybe it's because I'm getting close to finishing my degree and I just want to get everything done. I don't know.
And when that's not keeping me busy, I'm practicing my behind off for all the musical things I'm supposed to be doing. I'm not very confident that I'll be ready for my senior recital this semester. I know I tend to get down on myself about how good I am at what I do, but looking at this realistically, I just don't see how I can put together all of this music in the next few months. I should have had a better practice routine in the past, but I can't worry about that now. I was also stupid enough to volunteer to play the piano part in Godzilla Eats Las Vegas for Wind Ensemble. I've been spending a lot of time practicing that because I'm horrible at piano.
I decided that to help me prepare for my recital, I should be performing in front of people every chance I get. I performed in Recital Class today, one of the songs I learned a while back that I'm trying to keep in shape. It didn't go so well. It was one of those experiences where you decide that you should probably just give up and never play again. I was pretty bummed after that.
After Wind Ensemble, my director told me that she talked to my instructor and they decided that I would be best suited to play in an Honor Band in Cincinnati next month. I told her that I'd think about it, but I'm really feeling overwhelmed and out of control already. She totally understands that and she's going to let me think about it this weekend. I'm already pretty sure I'm not going to do it, simply because I can't afford to miss classes and rehearsals back here. It would be an awesome experience I'm sure, but I'm just curious why she mentioned it to me now when the other people that are going have known about it for months. Anyway, I thanked her very much for considering me though. That felt pretty good that her and my private instructor felt that I'd be the best to represent my school at some honor band in Cincinatti. I'm hoping I can get drunk enough tonight that I accidentally e-mail her and tell her I'll do it, and then I'll have to do it.
I wish I could tell my parents about how they thought I should play for this Honor Band thing, but my mom would just get pissed for not going. It's very easy for her to tell me to take all these opportunities, but she fails to consider and understand my feelings and limits about (anything) how much I can do. I've got so much music to learn already, I just don't feel that taking a week away to do other things is going to help me towards the much more important things I need to finish this semester.
I don't know why. I've been down.
Sorry to type a big college whining post. College students are inherently whiney about all the shit they have to do, like they want the world to know how busy and important they are. I try to avoid doing that, but sometimes this slips through. College students are dumb.
I was hoping this semester wouldn't be as much work as the previous, even though I have just as many classes with just a couple more credits. The Gen Eds I'm taking this semester just require too much. It's quite lame actually. The call them Gen Eds for a reason. It's supposed to give you a smattering of a topic. Biology makes me do a bunch of shit I really don't care about. I'm germinating seeds in my room, writing tons of papers for a non-writing intensive class, and I'm not enjoying any of it really.
My American Racial Minority class is also pissing me off. A bunch more writing and I have to attend events that I probably won't find time to go to. I'm also worried about failing these classes. I don't know when this problem started developing, but I'm suddenly started questioning my ability to pass classes, especially these Gen Eds. Maybe it's because I'm getting close to finishing my degree and I just want to get everything done. I don't know.
And when that's not keeping me busy, I'm practicing my behind off for all the musical things I'm supposed to be doing. I'm not very confident that I'll be ready for my senior recital this semester. I know I tend to get down on myself about how good I am at what I do, but looking at this realistically, I just don't see how I can put together all of this music in the next few months. I should have had a better practice routine in the past, but I can't worry about that now. I was also stupid enough to volunteer to play the piano part in Godzilla Eats Las Vegas for Wind Ensemble. I've been spending a lot of time practicing that because I'm horrible at piano.
I decided that to help me prepare for my recital, I should be performing in front of people every chance I get. I performed in Recital Class today, one of the songs I learned a while back that I'm trying to keep in shape. It didn't go so well. It was one of those experiences where you decide that you should probably just give up and never play again. I was pretty bummed after that.
After Wind Ensemble, my director told me that she talked to my instructor and they decided that I would be best suited to play in an Honor Band in Cincinnati next month. I told her that I'd think about it, but I'm really feeling overwhelmed and out of control already. She totally understands that and she's going to let me think about it this weekend. I'm already pretty sure I'm not going to do it, simply because I can't afford to miss classes and rehearsals back here. It would be an awesome experience I'm sure, but I'm just curious why she mentioned it to me now when the other people that are going have known about it for months. Anyway, I thanked her very much for considering me though. That felt pretty good that her and my private instructor felt that I'd be the best to represent my school at some honor band in Cincinatti. I'm hoping I can get drunk enough tonight that I accidentally e-mail her and tell her I'll do it, and then I'll have to do it.
I wish I could tell my parents about how they thought I should play for this Honor Band thing, but my mom would just get pissed for not going. It's very easy for her to tell me to take all these opportunities, but she fails to consider and understand my feelings and limits about (anything) how much I can do. I've got so much music to learn already, I just don't feel that taking a week away to do other things is going to help me towards the much more important things I need to finish this semester.
I don't know why. I've been down.
Sorry to type a big college whining post. College students are inherently whiney about all the shit they have to do, like they want the world to know how busy and important they are. I try to avoid doing that, but sometimes this slips through. College students are dumb.