Diagnosed.
Bipolar Type 2 - Hypomania, in addition to severe Anxiety.
I'm being medicated now. The one pill is okay, makes me hollow but functioning. I don't mind it. The anxiety one, on its second day of being implemented, makes me even more depressed. I almost said "fuck halloween" and smashed my pumpkin.
What's the point of being able to function if all the things that I love mean nothing anymore?
I don't feel very good. I have to do zombie make up for two little boys tomorrow, then go and sit at home all alone handing out candy. Then just sit there. I have no money to go out, nor even to buy some chips and pop and veg. I have no friends to come over, no money for booze, and Roger has to work.
I am trying to tell myself that I should be content with the fact that it is a new year, and the Veil is thin, and I can do my rituals without feeling self conscious, but I like to celebrate. Celebration to me means not being alone.
Whatever. This is all self-indulgent crap and I should fuck right off and stop whining.
YEah, Merry Samhain.
I'm being medicated now. The one pill is okay, makes me hollow but functioning. I don't mind it. The anxiety one, on its second day of being implemented, makes me even more depressed. I almost said "fuck halloween" and smashed my pumpkin.
What's the point of being able to function if all the things that I love mean nothing anymore?
I don't feel very good. I have to do zombie make up for two little boys tomorrow, then go and sit at home all alone handing out candy. Then just sit there. I have no money to go out, nor even to buy some chips and pop and veg. I have no friends to come over, no money for booze, and Roger has to work.
I am trying to tell myself that I should be content with the fact that it is a new year, and the Veil is thin, and I can do my rituals without feeling self conscious, but I like to celebrate. Celebration to me means not being alone.
Whatever. This is all self-indulgent crap and I should fuck right off and stop whining.
YEah, Merry Samhain.