::sigh::
well lets see...today i went to the pool with Adam, Sabrina, and Jackie then came back to Sabrina's house and went to blockbuster. we rented Wicker Park and The Shining. so we started to watch the Shining and it was soo confusing and boring kinda for me. i didnt understand anything...but then my stomach really started to hurt so i went home...ya anyways...
well, jeff called me today while i was out and he left a message. it said something like "hey ashley, its jeff. just wanted to call and see how you were doin, i didn't see ya yesterday. i didnt know if you were mad at me or not. so well call me back if you can bye..." so now im like upset cuz it just brought back the memory of what i am soon about to do....i really really dont want to hurt him...i feel so bad. but i have to do what i have to do. im just really scared to do it though. i mean...i "do" still love him but hes just not there for me...im just scared to hurt his feelings. i mean im his first g/f...i feel so bad but ya...
alright now lets explain the David situation. (but im not saying everything) anyways, since yesterday was the last day of school he came after school to see me. so when he got to school i was afraid he was gonna faint. he was so dehyrated and looked paler than usual. but then he got better and we all walked to Renzos. he didnt talk much during the "linner" but on the way there he talked a lot. then after eating he wanted to talk to me so he took me to the side of the building. so we just talked about some things...and he kept saying how nervous he was. he says hes scared to get himself into another relationship again...im hoping he'll overcome that fear. anyways, then my ride came and we had to hurry things up. so he came over and hugged me. this hug was even better than the one last friday. he just held me soo close and didnt let go. he told me that i smelt soo good and then he let go. then standing in front of me he held my hands and just looked at me. he put his arms around me again squeezing even tighter this time. it felt like a lifetime being in his arms...*continues*...then he held my hand with both of his and said "i really hope i can see you and hang out with you this summer. i hope your parents will let you see me." (or something like that) then he let go and i said "dont worry, i'll make it happen" then we took our opposite directions.......i havent talked to him since then but hopefully i will soon. sorry if im boring anyone with my love life..i just wanna let part of it out...
then later that night, i saw someone cry for the firt time ever. yes you know who you are...it just really had an effect on me and....ya...but tell me, was that really the ONLY reason that you were crying? because you said it was serious and that problem wasnt "that" serious. i mean ya..its bad and upsetting but you scared us when you said serious.
so other than all that stuff...i guess i have nothing else to say. my friggen parents are forcing me to go to church tomorrow even though i dont have to. i mean ya...im getting confirmed NEXT week but not tomorrow. i already HAD rehersal. gosh...i didnt think i would have to get up early THIS quick after school ending...o well.
well, jeff called me today while i was out and he left a message. it said something like "hey ashley, its jeff. just wanted to call and see how you were doin, i didn't see ya yesterday. i didnt know if you were mad at me or not. so well call me back if you can bye..." so now im like upset cuz it just brought back the memory of what i am soon about to do....i really really dont want to hurt him...i feel so bad. but i have to do what i have to do. im just really scared to do it though. i mean...i "do" still love him but hes just not there for me...im just scared to hurt his feelings. i mean im his first g/f...i feel so bad but ya...
alright now lets explain the David situation. (but im not saying everything) anyways, since yesterday was the last day of school he came after school to see me. so when he got to school i was afraid he was gonna faint. he was so dehyrated and looked paler than usual. but then he got better and we all walked to Renzos. he didnt talk much during the "linner" but on the way there he talked a lot. then after eating he wanted to talk to me so he took me to the side of the building. so we just talked about some things...and he kept saying how nervous he was. he says hes scared to get himself into another relationship again...im hoping he'll overcome that fear. anyways, then my ride came and we had to hurry things up. so he came over and hugged me. this hug was even better than the one last friday. he just held me soo close and didnt let go. he told me that i smelt soo good and then he let go. then standing in front of me he held my hands and just looked at me. he put his arms around me again squeezing even tighter this time. it felt like a lifetime being in his arms...*continues*...then he held my hand with both of his and said "i really hope i can see you and hang out with you this summer. i hope your parents will let you see me." (or something like that) then he let go and i said "dont worry, i'll make it happen" then we took our opposite directions.......i havent talked to him since then but hopefully i will soon. sorry if im boring anyone with my love life..i just wanna let part of it out...
then later that night, i saw someone cry for the firt time ever. yes you know who you are...it just really had an effect on me and....ya...but tell me, was that really the ONLY reason that you were crying? because you said it was serious and that problem wasnt "that" serious. i mean ya..its bad and upsetting but you scared us when you said serious.
so other than all that stuff...i guess i have nothing else to say. my friggen parents are forcing me to go to church tomorrow even though i dont have to. i mean ya...im getting confirmed NEXT week but not tomorrow. i already HAD rehersal. gosh...i didnt think i would have to get up early THIS quick after school ending...o well.