Writing and How I'm Not Doing It
So, I signed up for deancasbigbang practically the moment it went live this year. I've got what I think is a great idea, the basic bones of the story I'd like to write, the key players, and plenty of time (read: months) to write. Everything's Swimmy McSwimster, right?
Alright, move on to dc_everafter. I found it through various profile perving that I do (read: looking at people's profile pages if their lj name/story/art catches my eye and scrolling down to look at places they're members of) and read some pretty amazing stories and seen some amazing art there. Found out they were opening for Round 2 and immediately jumped on that after confirming new comers are welcome in Round 2.
I picked out three fairytales/Movies I truly enjoyed or thought would make an excellent SPN adaptation story and put them on my entry form; got my first pick. Everything's Swimmy McSwimster, right?
So, I didn't factor into the fact that I'm under a billion kinds of stress brought on by running a Division trial in the PC platform for the PMS|H20 clan. All the paperwork, recruitment, management, EVERYTHING EVER to do with the division falls on my head, shoulders, and in my hands to not only DO but maintain and make work in order to make this Division happen and get full Divisional status. The stress got so bad that at one point I made myself really, horribly sick and was trying to run and keep up with everything from my bed after puking my guts out for five solid minutes.
Bad times, my friends. And it also meant that not only did I not get a single solitary thing written for either of the challenges I've signed up for but now I'm down a month and probably going to be down another one since the trial for my Division is up on Monday and that's when I'll know for absolute SURE that my Division has won its divisional status. This means a lot more work before things start to get easier and less stressful for me.
I'm full of so much damn guilt and shame at the thought of not getting any work done on either story I'm supposed to be writing. It's just swirling, endlessly, in my gut and making me want to pull my hair out! I seriously need a vacation and some down time from everything else in my life just so I can write!
Yes, I'm just bitching and feeling sorry for myself but I'm being 100% honest. I desperately want to write and even more so want to make these stories good. I do not want to withdraw from either challenge because I do not want to be that person. I hate being flaky. D:
I need a minute to take a breather and I could really, seriously use some encouragement. Maybe I'll get a bit of both one of these days/weeks/months-Oh GOD I'm so far behind.
Alright, move on to dc_everafter. I found it through various profile perving that I do (read: looking at people's profile pages if their lj name/story/art catches my eye and scrolling down to look at places they're members of) and read some pretty amazing stories and seen some amazing art there. Found out they were opening for Round 2 and immediately jumped on that after confirming new comers are welcome in Round 2.
I picked out three fairytales/Movies I truly enjoyed or thought would make an excellent SPN adaptation story and put them on my entry form; got my first pick. Everything's Swimmy McSwimster, right?
So, I didn't factor into the fact that I'm under a billion kinds of stress brought on by running a Division trial in the PC platform for the PMS|H20 clan. All the paperwork, recruitment, management, EVERYTHING EVER to do with the division falls on my head, shoulders, and in my hands to not only DO but maintain and make work in order to make this Division happen and get full Divisional status. The stress got so bad that at one point I made myself really, horribly sick and was trying to run and keep up with everything from my bed after puking my guts out for five solid minutes.
Bad times, my friends. And it also meant that not only did I not get a single solitary thing written for either of the challenges I've signed up for but now I'm down a month and probably going to be down another one since the trial for my Division is up on Monday and that's when I'll know for absolute SURE that my Division has won its divisional status. This means a lot more work before things start to get easier and less stressful for me.
I'm full of so much damn guilt and shame at the thought of not getting any work done on either story I'm supposed to be writing. It's just swirling, endlessly, in my gut and making me want to pull my hair out! I seriously need a vacation and some down time from everything else in my life just so I can write!
Yes, I'm just bitching and feeling sorry for myself but I'm being 100% honest. I desperately want to write and even more so want to make these stories good. I do not want to withdraw from either challenge because I do not want to be that person. I hate being flaky. D:
I need a minute to take a breather and I could really, seriously use some encouragement. Maybe I'll get a bit of both one of these days/weeks/months-Oh GOD I'm so far behind.