I'm going to crumble under all this weight.
Man, I gotta say: I fucking love LJ.
I can't remember a time where I didn't feel better after writing an entry.
Anyway. Stress mode is overtime right now.
Seriously.
Spent Saturday night-Sunday afternoon with Myra and Maggi.
Went shopping, got my prom dress/shoes/whatever. Yay.
Ended up with us talking and me crying and having to drive 80
down the freeway in order to not be late for work.
While I was driving, upset, I made the mistake of calling
Kevin and telling him that I wanted to "talk". Seriously.
But it wasn't that kind of talk, just a talk about serious stuff.
Life. Me wanting to know that we will be okay. That no matter
what people say to try and bring us down, it won't happen.
So I worried him for the next five hours that I was at work-
he was by himself at home that whole time, with nothing to do
but think (so needless to say, he wasn't happen when I called
him driving home. He was afraid it was "that talk".)
So I felt like shit about it, cause I didn't mean to stress him out more.
It's just so hard all of a sudden.
I feel like I'm a prisoner, or an outcast, in my own house.
My parents don't like him. They don't like me.
My sister says they love me and are proud of me
but they sure have a hard time of showing it.
Fuck it, whatever.
I can't wait for this camping trip.
I can't wait to get away from everything. Everyone.
Trying to get some mushies for the trip,
but it's going to be pretty pricey. ):
My mom keeps asking me if I'm pregnant.
EVEN THOUGH I JUST HAD MY PERIOD.
Just because I went up a cup size (over time-
I just haven't wanted to ask them to buy me any new bras).
does NOT MEAN I AM PREGNANT.
What the fuck?
I'm just so ready to be done with everything.
I'm ready to get the FUCK out of here.
It's going to shock them when I come home again.
And I'll bet you that they're going to blame Kevin
for my piercings, tattoos, hair, etc.
Well guess what, ITS ALL ME.
You just haven't let me express myself, mom and dad.
You have shoved it all down my throat over the years so,
once I turn 18, there's no stopping me.
Good luck getting over it.
I'm so stressed I can't eat.
I can't wake up in the mornings,
and I can't get enough sleep.
Anyway, enough of this.
Hookah bar tomorrow with Melody and a friend of hers.
Then work. Then home and sleep.
Wednesday I'm finalizing camping plans with Mel,
then going to see Kevin.
Thursday we're leaving.
Goodnight, everyone.
Sweet dreams.