(no subject)
If there is a God, then he must be like the Jews say,
in the original books: destructive. Or Shiva. The God of
destruction and creation.
Because "God", or life, rather, is taking a serious shit on my head.
Ashley is harassing me. Threatening me, telling me if I don't give Dylan's hoodie back to her I'll "be seeing more of her".
And Dylan isn't my friend. He's "done with me".
I mean. Whatever. It's not like he was my best friend, or anything.
But apparently he was done with me when he moved away to college-
so that's why he talked to me, and we just saw each other at a concert.
Sure.
But, whatever.
Let her control him. I'm done with this.
I thought I was done with it last year, when I
stopped talking to Ashley, I didn't even look at her for
fuck's sake. But she has to pursue me.
My little sophomore friend just told me he had a crush on me.
Uhm. Kevin might still not be able to see me tomorrow.
My heart hurts. Mentally and physically- it hurts.
The shit with my parents is weighing heavy on me, too.
My dad told Kevin, last weekend, that Kevin was the
reason that my dad and I don't have a relationship anymore.
Right.
Because it's Kevin's fault that my dad threatens to take away my car at every little thing I do. It's Kevin's fault that I feel like a prisoner, here. That my parents are constantly telling me a disappointment one second and that they love me the next.
It's Kevin's fault that my dad tells me I have no friends.
That they are pretty much done with me and if I don't
kiss their asses every fucking second, they're going to
take away my college money and kick me out for good.
Of course. Because that's logical.
Work called me out today. Said I was an extra, that
I didn't need to come in.
We don't have extras on Friday nights, because
they are our busiest nights.
Maybe they're firing me. For what, I don't know. Whatever.
Kevin is so busy all of the time that being a boyfriend has
had to be set back. I mean, he is. He loves me and cares for me,
cooks me dinner, etc. It's just not the same as it was a while ago.
I don't blame him, though. He works all the time,
pays for all the bills with no roommate and a landlord
that sucks him dry. I just wish that things were different, you know?
I want to sleep all of the time.
I did, however, get two fishies for Kevin and me.
One is a Green Cobra Guppy and the other is a Dragon Guppy (I think).
They sorta look like this:
(Dragon -- Green Cobra)
They are cute, and swim around in circles in the tank constantly.
They also interact with each other very well.
Someone tell me how to fix myself?