(no subject)
GOD.
I have such conflicting feelings.
I want to say "Fuck school!" and give up on it all,
and yet I still want to try my hardest because,
if I miss out- there goes UNCG. There goes moving away form home.
I'm just so tired of it all.
My life has been in constant motion for the past
two months and I haven't been able to sit down, once.
I haven't had alone time (and by alone time, I mean
ALONE time- no friends, no phone calls, no appointments) with Kevin
in so long. Especially now that we're only allowed to see each other twice a week.
Especially since at the new place, EVERYONE IS ALWAYS THERE.
Always knocking on the door or needing him for something
or needing him to go somewhere.
I wish I had a remote to just push PAUSE.
I want one uninterrupted kiss.
One night where it's just us.
One FULL DAY, just me and him.
I want one day where school isn't always breathing down my back.
One day in which my parents don't look at me like I'm the biggest disappointment.
I don't know. I'm just whining.
A girl can wish, though, can't she?
My tulips are dying.
Mrs. Garrison said if I missed any more days
of yearbook without an excuse that she'd drop me
completely from the staff.
I just want to skip forward to June.
Past the schoolwork,
past having to tell mom and dad
I'm moving in with Myra and Maggi this summer,
past having to listen to them
shit-talk my boyfriend.
I'm done venting.
I need to do spanish homework.
I have such conflicting feelings.
I want to say "Fuck school!" and give up on it all,
and yet I still want to try my hardest because,
if I miss out- there goes UNCG. There goes moving away form home.
I'm just so tired of it all.
My life has been in constant motion for the past
two months and I haven't been able to sit down, once.
I haven't had alone time (and by alone time, I mean
ALONE time- no friends, no phone calls, no appointments) with Kevin
in so long. Especially now that we're only allowed to see each other twice a week.
Especially since at the new place, EVERYONE IS ALWAYS THERE.
Always knocking on the door or needing him for something
or needing him to go somewhere.
I wish I had a remote to just push PAUSE.
I want one uninterrupted kiss.
One night where it's just us.
One FULL DAY, just me and him.
I want one day where school isn't always breathing down my back.
One day in which my parents don't look at me like I'm the biggest disappointment.
I don't know. I'm just whining.
A girl can wish, though, can't she?
My tulips are dying.
Mrs. Garrison said if I missed any more days
of yearbook without an excuse that she'd drop me
completely from the staff.
I just want to skip forward to June.
Past the schoolwork,
past having to tell mom and dad
I'm moving in with Myra and Maggi this summer,
past having to listen to them
shit-talk my boyfriend.
I'm done venting.
I need to do spanish homework.