(no subject)
My brother is getting married,
right after he graduates this Spring.
Right before I graduate.
There's a bridal shower for Laura (his fianceé) and
Laura's brother's fianceé on December 26th.
DECEMBER 26th
My mum was indirectly invited over a confusing jumbled telephone message from Karen (Laura's mum). Mum feels obligated to attend this event. "Alone." Because I sure as hell am NOT going to go to some day-after-christmas shindig with 40+ Presbyterian ladies that make me feel awkward. In that you're-going-to-hell kind of way.
My mom is making me feel guilty about it.
FOR FUCKS SAKE, I don't even like Laura.
She has never expressed any interest in me, or my sister,
since she and my brother started dating FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO.
So, as much as I LOVE my mum, I don't want to go.
I won't. And I don't think she should either,
because she wasn't even DIRECTLY invited to this shithole thing.
That's all they can fucking talk about.
The wedding, the wedding, the wedding.
Guess what my brother wants served at the rehearsal dinner?
STEAK AND CHICKEN. "OH, but Sonia you can eat the baked potato...
or the fruit salad."
That really hurts, you know?
I mean, I hate being an inconvenience to anyone because I'm veg,
but my own brother? Really? I mean, he didn't even invite my sister, Maggi,
or I (and Kevin) to his wedding. Just assumes that maybe we're going to be there.
I got scheduled to work one day this entire month.
I'm waiting to hear back from EB Games.
I think too much about everything.
I fight things that are small.
I'm an emotional wreck.
I thought I was stronger than this,
I thought I had learned to love myself for who or what I am,
but some days it's so hard.
I mean, I'm not depressed.
Just down. Downdowndown.
Okay.
Venting over.
Whatever.
The only things keeping me sane
are Kevin, art, music, weed,
Melody and the few friends I have at school.
Oh, and the thought
of getting the fuck out of here
in nine months or less.
right after he graduates this Spring.
Right before I graduate.
There's a bridal shower for Laura (his fianceé) and
Laura's brother's fianceé on December 26th.
DECEMBER 26th
My mum was indirectly invited over a confusing jumbled telephone message from Karen (Laura's mum). Mum feels obligated to attend this event. "Alone." Because I sure as hell am NOT going to go to some day-after-christmas shindig with 40+ Presbyterian ladies that make me feel awkward. In that you're-going-to-hell kind of way.
My mom is making me feel guilty about it.
FOR FUCKS SAKE, I don't even like Laura.
She has never expressed any interest in me, or my sister,
since she and my brother started dating FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO.
So, as much as I LOVE my mum, I don't want to go.
I won't. And I don't think she should either,
because she wasn't even DIRECTLY invited to this shithole thing.
That's all they can fucking talk about.
The wedding, the wedding, the wedding.
Guess what my brother wants served at the rehearsal dinner?
STEAK AND CHICKEN. "OH, but Sonia you can eat the baked potato...
or the fruit salad."
That really hurts, you know?
I mean, I hate being an inconvenience to anyone because I'm veg,
but my own brother? Really? I mean, he didn't even invite my sister, Maggi,
or I (and Kevin) to his wedding. Just assumes that maybe we're going to be there.
I got scheduled to work one day this entire month.
I'm waiting to hear back from EB Games.
I think too much about everything.
I fight things that are small.
I'm an emotional wreck.
I thought I was stronger than this,
I thought I had learned to love myself for who or what I am,
but some days it's so hard.
I mean, I'm not depressed.
Just down. Downdowndown.
Okay.
Venting over.
Whatever.
The only things keeping me sane
are Kevin, art, music, weed,
Melody and the few friends I have at school.
Oh, and the thought
of getting the fuck out of here
in nine months or less.