I used to binge and purge when I was modeling/acting. Camera adds ten pounds, blah, blah, blah. Very common in Los Angeles. I was starting to feel a compulsion to down everything possible - I'd pass a store and see candy displays and feel like I needed to eat as much as possible then make myself sick. I used to run backstage at Disneyland every chance possible and make myself sick. I told one person, and she said maybe I needed to allow myself to feel full and not do anything about it. I forced myself to stop, but it wasn't easy. And of course later on, when you have children and you MUST eat for two when you're expecting, then things change a bit. However, I'm surprised when I see these stick figure women in wealthy areas of L.A. who look model thin from behind and you see them from the front and they're six or more months pregnant. There's nothing wrong with enjoying your food, and I'm still an emotional eater, but I try to remember that food is fuel, and every now and again, it's for celebrating holidays one meal every few months... You are a smart girl; this is your way of taking control over something when there are other aspects of your life that feel out of control. You CAN pull yourself together and eat normally. Love you, sweetie.
It definitely started with it being something I could control when everything around me was in shambles. It got worse when I was in high school (anorexia with binging during the weekends) as it was the unhappiest period of my life so yeah, the link with control is truly there. I have a lot of questions at the moment and nothing that can be solved right now so my body is probably reacting. I know I can do it but I'm having trouble accepting these things take time! *hugs*
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