There Can Be Too Many Potatoes
I have mentioned my neighbors, Fred & Kathy in a previous entry. They were my neighbors for almost 12 years when I lived in Louisville. They were awesome people who I cared about a great deal. They were very fun and funny and had quirks that were a source of interest and entertainment. I believe that it’s a plus to have quirks that can give some positive advantage to people. Far to many quirks are minor or major annoyances and some are dangerous and should be avoided at almost any cost. Having said that, Fred had a couple of these and I would come in contact with one of them more times than I would have liked.
I must point out that Terrie was the one who did a lot of the things in the house and I was the outdoor person. Therefore, I got to be the go-to person for Fred’s “plans”. He has many, and he believes they are all very necessary and should be implemented. He also believed that the help and the resources necessary to carry them out should and would of course, come from his “neighbor”
The time for talking about what will be planted in the garden beds is upon us and Fred comes over one morning to discuss “something” with me. He talks about how nice my beds look and how rich the soil is. I tell him how I compost, for it is very different from what he does. He mentions the quality of my soil and of my vegetables a lot. I am a great gardener and have grown truly wonderful things.
He says that he thinks it would be very good if I “commandeered” another place in my yard that has, up until now, been used as a bed for building quality soil.
“Make it work for me!” he says with great hope and anticipation.
I point out that it works very well for me as a soil bed and he says that while this may be true, it would be much better if I used it to grow potatoes. He says he loves growing them and knows I would as well. I cringe inwardly. I grew up on a farm and it had a huge garden. I know something about potatoes. I know they grow in hills and if one does not have enough land to do this a certain way, one must pile something around the plants and continue the process as they grow. I find out from him that he uses straw. I ask him why I need to grow potatoes, since he already does this. After all, it is he who talks about planning what we both grow, so that we each grow different things and we can then share the fruits of our labors. I point out that Terrie and I do not eat that many potatoes and have always found that harvesting them from the supermarket was an acceptable practice. He says that they love potatoes and if I will grow them they will take most of them, leaving us with a small amount. He says there can never be too many potatoes. I grudgingly agree, because I am incredibly reluctant to say no to Fred.
So I plant potatoes in this awesome soil and I tend them and I pile straw around them about five times. This means I have to purchase straw and keep it in my shed. Straw does not contain itself well. It is everywhere. It blows around the yard and it is all over the floor of the shed. It finds it’s way into the hot tub, where it is most unwelcome. It remains long after it is needed. I am hugely unimpressed with this vast amount of straw.
I grow an immense crop of potatoes for the space I have. I am shocked and quite pleased with myself. I think Fred will be quite happy and that he and Kathy will love these. They are various sizes and there must be around forty pounds of them when all are harvested.
I tell Fred this good news. He says that’s great and that he has had quite a good crop himself this year. The God and Goddess of veggies must indeed be fans of the mashed potato! He does not come over and take any of them. A week goes by and two and I continue to remind him and he continues to say they have a lot of spuds and is not interested. One day I take three of the finest representatives of the crop to their house. They take them and politely thank me. They tell me they were wonderful, but they do not ask for any more. The rest are all mine
I have a lot of Irish in me, but I do not know enough ways to eat potatoes to use all of these. Terrie is a good cook and she joins in with ideas for potato usage. Still between the two of us, a great many of them go bad. I tell her that I will “never” do this again. That is the easy part, but I also have to tell Fred.
I do this before the next spring. He asks me what happens if his crop isn’t as good and wasn’t I proud of how well I had done. I tell him that I would rather be proud of growing something our household eats more of, and that the answer will always be “no” on potatoes.
Does he stop trying? No, he brings it up a couple more times at least. I think he believes I will change my mind because I hate to disappoint or hurt people and he knows this about me very well. He eventually has to accept this and I become less reluctant to say “no” to him. As it happens this turns out to be an essential survival skill throughout the remainder of my time as his neighbor.