(no subject)
i think i've learned more about myself this weekend than i have in a really long time. about small things, like my habits and then bigger things in my life such as my priorities, who is really important in my life, why, and what i like about each of those people.
after seeing cry havoc i've learned that i'm not as desensitized as i show myself to be. i wanted to cry throughout the entire thing. granted i was in a really emotional state and was already about to cry, but this play about ordinary women having to get along in the middle of a war really hit home in a way i didn't expect.
first of all i realized how proud i was of the people i love because of aspen. while she was on stage i couldn't look away from her and i realized how proud i am of her. i saw bridget summers afterward and i gave a huge hug because all the hell she went through to put on this play was finally over. she did such an amazing job that i was beaming when i saw her and just thought about how amazing this girl is. after seeing them both and talking with tasha all night who always has some very wise words for me when i need them, made me realize what wonderful people my friends are and how proud of them i am.
and secondly, it made me think about war in general. i know i know, duh right? but it made me think about how horrible it is to be out there and awful it is when someone you love goes through shit like that. there was a scene transition i believe after the women realized that they were stuck in the bunker and there was no way to survive, where the song "imagine" by john lennon came on and i could barely hold my tears. that song has always meant something to me, but it never so much as it did at that moment. the bombing sounds that came closer and closer to their bunker scared me as much as the gunshots that pierced the theater when all the women were executed at the end. i expected it but it was still so powerful that it made a huge impact on me.
another thing i learned is that i really do like things that are happy, positive and fun even though i spend more time liking the more negative things in life. for instance, i take pictures of all the flowers i get as gifts. some of the pictures turned out really clear and beautiful. i put them into my computer and i ended up looking at a lot of different pictures that i have taken before. the really sunny bright vibrant flowers pictures were the ones that caught my attention. even though i like the rain my favorite type of weather is sunny, cold enough to clear your lungs when you breath, and clear crisp skies. i think with all this rain i have been getting more and more mopey. the sunny days (where it's not hot...heat sucks) are the days when my mood is a lot more cheery and i fee better about myself. not clothing wise, but in general. i used to have the idea that liked rainy days better than sunny ones, but i guess i've changed.
i've changed so much that my reflective mind and i think my mind in general hasn't fully caught up.
after seeing cry havoc i've learned that i'm not as desensitized as i show myself to be. i wanted to cry throughout the entire thing. granted i was in a really emotional state and was already about to cry, but this play about ordinary women having to get along in the middle of a war really hit home in a way i didn't expect.
first of all i realized how proud i was of the people i love because of aspen. while she was on stage i couldn't look away from her and i realized how proud i am of her. i saw bridget summers afterward and i gave a huge hug because all the hell she went through to put on this play was finally over. she did such an amazing job that i was beaming when i saw her and just thought about how amazing this girl is. after seeing them both and talking with tasha all night who always has some very wise words for me when i need them, made me realize what wonderful people my friends are and how proud of them i am.
and secondly, it made me think about war in general. i know i know, duh right? but it made me think about how horrible it is to be out there and awful it is when someone you love goes through shit like that. there was a scene transition i believe after the women realized that they were stuck in the bunker and there was no way to survive, where the song "imagine" by john lennon came on and i could barely hold my tears. that song has always meant something to me, but it never so much as it did at that moment. the bombing sounds that came closer and closer to their bunker scared me as much as the gunshots that pierced the theater when all the women were executed at the end. i expected it but it was still so powerful that it made a huge impact on me.
another thing i learned is that i really do like things that are happy, positive and fun even though i spend more time liking the more negative things in life. for instance, i take pictures of all the flowers i get as gifts. some of the pictures turned out really clear and beautiful. i put them into my computer and i ended up looking at a lot of different pictures that i have taken before. the really sunny bright vibrant flowers pictures were the ones that caught my attention. even though i like the rain my favorite type of weather is sunny, cold enough to clear your lungs when you breath, and clear crisp skies. i think with all this rain i have been getting more and more mopey. the sunny days (where it's not hot...heat sucks) are the days when my mood is a lot more cheery and i fee better about myself. not clothing wise, but in general. i used to have the idea that liked rainy days better than sunny ones, but i guess i've changed.
i've changed so much that my reflective mind and i think my mind in general hasn't fully caught up.