Title: Habits
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Pairing: Katniss/Peeta
Rating:PG-13
Warnings: au, mentions of OCs, vaguely dark fluff with a bit of plot, shortfic
Notes:
Written for
this comment_fic prompt, the hc bingo prompt “interrogation”, and the cottoncandy bingo prompt “communication”. Follows on from Victor and Tick Tock. Happy Thanksgiving! :D
Summary: Love is as much a habit as anything.
“I love him,” Katniss said. She didn’t even think. How many times had she said those words - to Flickerman, to Effie, to President Snow? And now she was saying it to President Coin of District 13, and she realized, quite suddenly, that she meant it. She loved him. She loved Peeta.
When had that happened? She and Peeta were always busy. Making sure Haymitch didn’t drink himself to death, looking after Markiss as he drifted through life, smiling for cameras and looking for sponsors and travelling on high speed trains to all the districts of Panem.
Somewhere, in between the fighting and the awkward silences, between the fake smiles and clenched jaws, between each painful death and each breath of relief after a victory…somewhere, in all the mess of their lives, Katniss had fallen in love with Peeta. Genuinely.
“I love him,” Katniss said again, wonderingly, letting go of the mask she wore almost constantly in the presence of strangers. How had that happened? She’d been saying it all this time, living with him and resting with him and grieving with him all this time, but it was only now, when Coin and her council dared to question it, that Katniss realized it was true. She loved Peeta.
She loved the cheese buns he made. She loved the masterful way he worked with paints. She loved the gentle way he tried to pull Markiss out of his shell and the rough firmness he used with Haymitch. She loved the way he looked wearing little more than a frown and a streak of flour on his face. She loved the kind comfort he showed their tributes every year, and the way he couldn’t bear to watch their deaths if they failed. She loved the soft smile he wore when he had a pleasant dream, the matter-of-fact way he tried to coax Lisa and Mattes and Hibiscus back into society, the fumbling but earnest way he gave advice. She loved him.
The response was automatic, but the feelings were real.
“We’ve been well aware that it was all an act,” Coin said. “Haymitch was quite clear about your conversations prior to your wedding.”
“I love Peeta,” Katniss said firmly, cutting Coin off. “I can’t believe you’d think otherwise.”
From the corner of her eye Katniss could see the barely repressed emotions on Peeta’s face. He took her hand and squeezed beneath the table.
“When you said you had something important to tell us,” Haymitch drawled, “I didn’t think we’d waste time on gossip.”
Coin talked about plans to use Katniss as a figurehead. Katniss being forced into a loveless marriage would be just another tool to sway people to their side. Katniss could agree with that wholeheartedly, but when faced with the actual question, it fell apart. She loved Peeta. And young lovers forced to marry too soon didn’t have the same emotional impact as being forced to pretend.
“I don’t want to be anyone’s figurehead,” said Katniss, “and I’m sure that’s true of Peeta too. I want to…I want to kill President Snow. I want the Games to stop. I want to fight and rip the capitol apart with my bare hands. I want to help you but I won’t…I won’t pose for you, like I posed for them.”
“The rebellion needs a face, Katniss. The people need someone to connect with. We’ve given you a lot of assistance these past few months; it would only be…appropriate to pay them back.”
She looked to Peeta, who gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. Haymitch looked at her expectantly.
Katniss sat up straighter. “Peeta and I work together. Are we clear?”
Coin seemed satisfied, and Katniss reminded herself why she was here, who she’s doing this for, wishing Coin’s smile didn’t look quite so sinister.
Her victors were waiting a short distance away, and so was Prim, and Gale. Haymitch was at the table with them, impressively sober, and mixed in with the leaders of District Thirteen were victors from all the districts - some sneering, some smiling, all watching her. Katniss shifted, so her and Peeta’s joined hands were on the table. It had been a fight to get Peeta into this meeting; she wasn’t going to let go of him now. Katniss and Peeta had been a united front for years. She loved him.
Some people, like some habits, were impossible to shake.
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