Fic: Baby Steve Adventures

Sep 22, 2012 22:18

Title: Baby Steve Adventures
Fandom: Avengers Film
Pairing: Gen
Rating: PG
Warnings: de-aging, magic, off-screen bad guy death, off-screen alien slugs, kinda cracky
Notes: Written for the cotton candy bingo prompt “innocent/innocence” and the hc_bingo prompt “time travel gone wrong”. With…a loose interpretation of time travel. I hope I have the voices down - the movie doesn’t come out until Tuesday.

Summary: Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him.


“He looks…better” Tony says, watching Bruce watch tiny-Steve.

“He is better,” Bruce says. “I think he’ll be ready for a normal bed in a few days.”

Tony frowns. “Can’t we just…keep him here?”

“Here” is the NICU he’d added to Stark Tower the day Steve got smacked in the face by Asgardian magic. He wasn’t a big fan of the babies-in-the-tower deal, but he owed Steve and it was better than dumping him on SHIELD.

“He doesn’t really need it,” Bruce says, and looks around. “It’s useful, but I don’t like the idea of keeping him here twenty-four seven.”

There’s something else under Bruce’s expression that Tony can only just catch. Tony sighs. “I’ll have Pepper work something out.”

Of course, that was a week ago.

Today, Tony is not happy to have giant slugs trying to eat Manhattan. He is even less happy when JARVIS says “Sir, there has been an incident at the tower.”

Tony expects to see giant slugs trying to eat his building. He does not expect to see Hulk sitting in what was left of the NICU, surrounded by bodies and broken machinery.

Hulk glares at him. He’s favoring one of his arms like he’s hurt; Hulk’s never gotten hurt before, but there’s a first time for everything.

“Hey big guy,” Tony says, hovering just outside the window.

Hulk shifts away from him. “Metal Man is late.”

“One of you needs to be here yesterday,” he says, hoping neither Clint nor Natasha have lost their earpieces. Then he comes closer to the Hulk. “Sorry buddy. Where’s Steve?”

Hulk looks about as suspicious as a rage monster can manage. Did he eat Steve? No, Hulk isn’t a cannibal; does it even count as cannibalism if the Hulk eats people? Maybe he squashed Steve?

Before Tony can ask JARVIS to search for a pulverized infant skeleton, Hulk says “Smashing too loud for tiny Star Man.”

This time, Tony really pays attention to the arm Hulk is holding close to his chest. That’s twenty years off his life that he will never get back.

“That’s great. We don’t need any more smashing though. Can you give us Bruce?”

“No.”

“How about Steve?”

“Holy shit.”

There are Clint and Natasha, with the greatest timing in the history of the universe.

“Ixnay on the unsgay,” Tony hisses, as Hulk starts growling again.

“Where’s Rogers?” Natasha asks.

“Hiding behind his guard dog. Also, if he kidnaps Steve I am never forgiving you.”

After a brief moment where it looks like Hulk is gonna make a break for it and the agents are weighing the risks of shooting, Tony lands and opens his visor.

“I think this is all a big misunderstanding. Why don’t you guys leave,” - Tony gestures at the place where the door used to be - “And you, turn back into Bruce. These guys like Steve, remember? It’s fine.”

Natasha slowly lowers her weapon, and after shooting her a look Clint does the same. Hulk shifts into what is presumably a more comfortable position. Now it’s quite easy to see tiny baby Steve draped over one of Hulks massive fingers. The bastard is asleep - somehow - and unreasonably adorable.

Unbelievably it’s Thor that gets the privilege of holding Steve so Hulk can change back, almost an hour later. He has the hammer in one hand and Steve’s head in the other; the transition goes off without a hitch.

Bruce looks mortified when he changes back, but that doesn’t stop Thor from handing Steve right back to him.

“The Hulk would be most displeased where he not in your care.”

And if Bruce doesn’t believe that, Tony had JARVIS take pictures.

Natasha wakes slowly, enveloped in a cocoon of warmth. She stretches. She can tell from the light she’s overslept.

The tower is quiet. She’d blame Stark’s amazing soundproofing, but even with that she can normally hear them in the hallways. Thor and Bruce have heavy feet, and Stark never shuts up. Despite herself she isn’t worried. She makes her lazy way to the common area, following the barest hint of sound.

The light here is as warm as her bed had felt. There’s a strange woman on the couch. Thor is sitting on the floor beside her with his head on her knee, so any alarm Natasha should have felt slips away.

The woman has Steve in her arms. He’s quiet too - he always is, even now as a baby. Natasha can see his open eyes, focused on the woman’s smiling face.

Natasha gets herself a cup of coffee and sits on one of the chairs to watch them.

It’s not clear how long they sit there, the woman rocking Steve in her arms and humming. Maybe Natasha goes to sleep. She closes her eyes to the warm light and humming and opens them to Thor’s laugh.

The woman is gone. Steve has one of Thor’s fingers and Thor beams down at him.

“Even now you have the grip of a warrior,” Thor says.

Natasha sits up straight. “Was that your mother?”

“Yes.” Thor looks up at her, letting Steve wave his finger back and forth. “She says the best course of action will be to let the spell end on its own. She has accelerated it slightly, but suggests we do no more than that.” He looks back down at Steve, who has abandoned Thor’s fingers in favor of his hair. “I did not know for certain when she would arrive. I’m sorry; I would have informed you beforehand.”

The light in the room is normal; the warmth is gone. She can hear Tony coming down the hallway, talking to JARVIS.

Natasha stands to get more coffee. “Next time come and get me as soon as she gets here.”

“Fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty -.”

Steve bops him on the nose.

“You’re supposed to be spotting me,” Clint says, “not sparring with me.”

Steve waves his arms and squeals.

“There’s no way you can take me, man.”

To prove it, Clint tickles Steve’s feet. Steve is a flailing giggly mess, and Clint get’s hit in the face again.

He sighs. “Okay you win. I think my time’s almost up anyway.”

He picks Steve up one handed and kicks the rolling chair thing away.

The convenient thing about Steve-duty is that Steve is easily occupied. Sit ups are a game, walking is an adventure, and give him a couple of toys and a safe zone to crawl around in and he’s set. Bruce says he’s a happy baby; Bruce is also biased.

Tony is the only one in the kitchen when Clint gets there. Clint drops Steve into his lap without comment on his way to the fridge.

“What is this supposed to be?”

“A baby.” They’re out of pretty much everything. Clint eyes the jars of baby food occupying the top shelf.

“Why is it touching me? Ow hey, that’s not a toy.”

Clint glances over his shoulder. Steve’s beating up the arc reactor; they’re fine.

“I can’t hold him and get something to eat at the same time.”

“That’s why we have things to put him in.”

Success! A safe looking pack of lunch meat in the back of one of the drawers. Clint grabs that and the half empty jay of mayo. “All of them are in the living room. Just don’t drop him, it’s not that hard. Bounce him a little.”

Clint looses himself in his quest for food. When he comes back to the table, Tony is scribbling on a napkin and Steve is yawning, slumped against Tony’s chest. He gives the arc reactor a halfhearted tap and rubs his eyes.

Clint tilts his head to the side and shrugs. Tony’s got everything under control, and it’s almost time for him to take over anyway. Clint takes his lunch down to the gym.

Bruce pokes his head into Tony’s lab. “Do you have Steve?”

“Sir?” JARVIS says. “Doctor Banner is here.”

“Bruce!”

Bruce follows the sound deeper into Tony’s lab. “Hi. I was looking for Steve.”

“He’s…here.” Tony turns around. “JARVIS where’s….”

“He’s in the playpen sir.”

“Right. The playpen. See, Bruce, he’s fine.”

“Behind you, Dr. Banner,” JARVIS says before Bruce can get really worried. “Captain Rogers is currently sleeping.”

The playpen Pepper bought is almost unrecognizable under the things Tony’s added, but Bruce can clearly see Steve in the middle, sleeping peacefully. He’s surrounded by various holograms - bubbles, stars, diamonds.

There are also a series of monitors and alarms and something that might be a security system.

“Were you that afraid of him getting out?”

“What? No; it’s connected to JARVIS. Only someone on the access list can take him out of there. It’s a safety feature.”

Bruce nods. “And the heart monitor?”

“I don’t want him to die on me.”

Bruce looks over at Tony, who’s seemingly intent on his work. He can’t help but give in to the fond smile overtaking his face.

“I don’t want to move him,” he says. He cleans up the table nearest the pen, getting rid of the scrunched up rags and mushy half eaten cookie and unidentifiably debris. “If it’s okay with you I’ll just leave him here; I can do my work here as well as anywhere.”

Tony waves a dismissive hand in his general direction. Bruce runs a hand over the top of Steve’s head - is the bottom of that thing heated? - and goes to find a chair.

hc bingo, writing, cotton candy bingo, fandom:avengers, pairing:[gen]

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