Bleughhhh.
I was about to write that things were so different now, but stopped. They're not sooo different, but are different.
I don't mean different in a bad way I mean different in a different way. If that makes sense.
Since my last update I was really happy with Glenn (not that I'm not now) and Uni was right around the corner. I can now say it is heavily overrated. First year was alright. I got pretty homesick and I could see how amazing it would be if you were a natural brainbox and didn't have to revise at all and could just party all the time. But trying to speak more or less fluently in a different language with a hangover is pretty hard.
We were faced with a big of a downer in March. And it hasn't left my mind since and it's really affected me badly, despite not showing it. I need someone to talk to and I can't talk to Glenn or Katie or Sarah or Sinead, they don't know what I feel atm. Well except for Glenn but we don't mention it anymore. I need to talk to a neutral person who won't take pity, who won't say 'well you've been through a lot it's understandable'. I need someone to turn round and say 'You can't change ANYTHING, pull the finger out and get on with it.' I suppose because I do NOTHING during the day except sit and read stupid football forums, that boredom has definitely set in, causing depression because I have too much time to think.
Either way, I've turned into the moodiest cow on the planet, and I'm taking it all out on Glenn and it's causing so so so much friction to the point where I'm WAITING for him to call the whole engagement off and say 'Sianora!'. But part of me thinks he won't because we have been through SO much more than that. We've had our fair share of storm-offs and still just laughed about it. I love him so much, I don't think he realises how much...
Then there's the subject of the whole 'friend' scene. You know the scenario, you have a set group of friends when you're around 16 and its all, we'll be mates forever. One by one, something happens which distances you until you're left with the one friend you KNEW would stick around. At the minute I guess I'm quite lonely down here. When I started going out with Glenn, I instantly saw a complete difference between him and my friends. I saw who exactly I was and what exactly I wanted to do. Act like an adult. Maturity is a funny thing. Some have it, some don't. I'd sort of grown past the drinking on beaches and in parks, when I knew I could be in a warm place with the people I loved the most and not have to waste my money. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of it when I was with them, and I do miss people's company, but on the other hand, I know now that I'm so completely different, and I've changed for the better. They can all rot away in their call centres and take their 'hard' drugs if they wish, but that's not for me at all. I've totally settled down, don't even go out to the Odyssey or anything when I'm home. I prefer a nice wee takeaway with the other half, bit of road wars on the TV. Perfection.
When I'm at uni, it's the Anchor evvvvery Tuesday, Kelly's some Wednesdays and some nights just girlies drinking night. My liver didn't know what hit it. So I get my fun in moderation at uni, and when Glenn comes up and stays he comes too, and it's just fantastic. Good solid drinking session. So because all the uni girls live in Belfast and don't drive, or Bangor or further, and I despise the raucous activities of my previous peers, all I really have is Glenn and Katie and all of Glenn's mates, legends. But I could not be happier!
We're trying to plan an engagement party. I started off thinking, I'll invite allll my old friends, it'll be a reunion. Then I thought, why should I? How can I trust these people not to come and start drug dealing in the place. So I narrowed my list down to about 70 people including mine and Glenn's friends, family, and any prospect of a significant other accompanying someone. I also decided it's to celebrate a union of me and Glenn, so I only wrote down people who have met both of us face to face and spoken. So I guess you'll decide yourselves which category you fit in if you discover you haven't got an invite... It's mostly the latter.
Not sure what this was supposed to achieve...felt good to get it all out though.
I don't mean different in a bad way I mean different in a different way. If that makes sense.
Since my last update I was really happy with Glenn (not that I'm not now) and Uni was right around the corner. I can now say it is heavily overrated. First year was alright. I got pretty homesick and I could see how amazing it would be if you were a natural brainbox and didn't have to revise at all and could just party all the time. But trying to speak more or less fluently in a different language with a hangover is pretty hard.
We were faced with a big of a downer in March. And it hasn't left my mind since and it's really affected me badly, despite not showing it. I need someone to talk to and I can't talk to Glenn or Katie or Sarah or Sinead, they don't know what I feel atm. Well except for Glenn but we don't mention it anymore. I need to talk to a neutral person who won't take pity, who won't say 'well you've been through a lot it's understandable'. I need someone to turn round and say 'You can't change ANYTHING, pull the finger out and get on with it.' I suppose because I do NOTHING during the day except sit and read stupid football forums, that boredom has definitely set in, causing depression because I have too much time to think.
Either way, I've turned into the moodiest cow on the planet, and I'm taking it all out on Glenn and it's causing so so so much friction to the point where I'm WAITING for him to call the whole engagement off and say 'Sianora!'. But part of me thinks he won't because we have been through SO much more than that. We've had our fair share of storm-offs and still just laughed about it. I love him so much, I don't think he realises how much...
Then there's the subject of the whole 'friend' scene. You know the scenario, you have a set group of friends when you're around 16 and its all, we'll be mates forever. One by one, something happens which distances you until you're left with the one friend you KNEW would stick around. At the minute I guess I'm quite lonely down here. When I started going out with Glenn, I instantly saw a complete difference between him and my friends. I saw who exactly I was and what exactly I wanted to do. Act like an adult. Maturity is a funny thing. Some have it, some don't. I'd sort of grown past the drinking on beaches and in parks, when I knew I could be in a warm place with the people I loved the most and not have to waste my money. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of it when I was with them, and I do miss people's company, but on the other hand, I know now that I'm so completely different, and I've changed for the better. They can all rot away in their call centres and take their 'hard' drugs if they wish, but that's not for me at all. I've totally settled down, don't even go out to the Odyssey or anything when I'm home. I prefer a nice wee takeaway with the other half, bit of road wars on the TV. Perfection.
When I'm at uni, it's the Anchor evvvvery Tuesday, Kelly's some Wednesdays and some nights just girlies drinking night. My liver didn't know what hit it. So I get my fun in moderation at uni, and when Glenn comes up and stays he comes too, and it's just fantastic. Good solid drinking session. So because all the uni girls live in Belfast and don't drive, or Bangor or further, and I despise the raucous activities of my previous peers, all I really have is Glenn and Katie and all of Glenn's mates, legends. But I could not be happier!
We're trying to plan an engagement party. I started off thinking, I'll invite allll my old friends, it'll be a reunion. Then I thought, why should I? How can I trust these people not to come and start drug dealing in the place. So I narrowed my list down to about 70 people including mine and Glenn's friends, family, and any prospect of a significant other accompanying someone. I also decided it's to celebrate a union of me and Glenn, so I only wrote down people who have met both of us face to face and spoken. So I guess you'll decide yourselves which category you fit in if you discover you haven't got an invite... It's mostly the latter.
Not sure what this was supposed to achieve...felt good to get it all out though.