Fic: What I Know Now 1/5
Kurosagi had taught Tsurara many things. He didn’t know it yet, and she had no intention of telling him. Their turbulent relationship, if whatever they had could even be called a relationship, had mellowed and settled into almost nothingness. Aside from the occasional mailbox meeting and painfully nostalgic eye contact, Tsurara wouldn’t be surprised if that one spring hadn’t happened at all.
He had taught her the truth behind her childish dreams of being a prosecutor.
Tsurara was not naïve or stupid. She knew of the injustices which plagued this world - experienced them first hand. The rapists, murderers, thieves, blackmailers, the list grew as did Tsurara’s hopes. She had resolved, on her tenth birthday when her father had once again failed to show up (or even notice) for the celebrations, that she would be a prosecutor. A damn good one too. She wanted to protect people like her mother, who worked fifty hour weeks and three jobs in order to make ends meet and to finance her fathers gambling habits. Tsurara hated him. He could rot in hell for all she cared. He was never around, and on the rare occasion he did show his ugly mug, he’d only cause them pain. Stretching her mother to her limit, financially emotionally and mentally. His pathetic pleasantries, dripping with need, signally the begging that was always soon to come.
She knew her mother felt obliged to answer his financial please. Perhaps from the love she imagined remained from the shattered pieces of their relationship. Sometimes she wished her mother would just slam the door in his face, disconnect the phone, pack up their belonging and move far far away. To a place where money didn’t exist, a sacred destination inaccessible by her father, where happiness existed.
The first 15 years of her life had been painful, yes, but her admirable dream of one day helping other achieve the piece of mind her childhood had been so cruelly denied, brought her some relief. She had been proud of her ambition, information anyone who cared to ask, her head held high, chest stuck out. Until of course she met him. Kurosagi, who had caused the fall of many great swindlers, the fall of faith of many police personnel and the inevitable fall of her heart into his hands.
“What can you do for those who’ve been swindled?”
He asked her once, when she had made the mistake of goading him too far, eyes focused on her, cold and hardened. At the time she had stared determinedly right back at him. Ready to stand her ground.
“The police can catch the swindlers, try them in court and force them to compensate those they’ve tricked, before throwing them into jail.”
“Compensation? Don’t make me laugh, what’s to say these fine people haven’t already spent their ill gotten gains? What do we do with the swindlers who can’t pay back their victims? How will they get their money back then?”
Tsurara’s face fell. She had been intent on reaching her goal, never bothering to properly take into account Kurosaki’s criticisms, blowing them off, regarding them as ramblings of a hardened bitter man.
“I’m sure the government can offer them some form of support.”
Almost stuttering now, desperate to stay a step ahead.
“The government won’t do anything. Even if swindlers get caught, which they probably won’t , How long do you think the courts can jail them for? Three? Two years? And parole consideration after eighteen months. Half a year even on good behavior. Face it. There’s nothing the law can do. There’s nothing the police can do, and when these systems fail, they come to me for help, because I’m the only one who actually gets things done.”
Those words cut her dreams in half. Rocked the very axis of her world, as suddenly her universe imploded before her eyes. Instead of greeting each new situation with hope, Tsurara only saw desolation and despair. Every obstaclewas no longer a stimulating challenge, but an impossible scenario, which she had no control over. She'd become a useless waste of space. Life had lost its meaning, music its soul, warmth its heat. Time stod still. Tsurara with it.