Fic: What I Know Now 4/5
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
icecapades !!!
I just finished reading Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, which is rumoured to be turning into a Japanese American join production movie, staring Horikita Maki and Matsuyama Ken'ichi. Obviously I'm excited. I randomly saw it on the shelf in my library and I decided to borrow it out, and although it seemed like a boring read, it was one of those really fangirly books, because I just found myself squeeing at all the guy characters. I personally hope Toma will play Will (her best friend who SPOILER! has a bit of a crush on her) because I think Nakatsu kinda suits will, and Toma does a mean Nakatsu. I actually recommend this book for people to read, as it's really quite fun. I read it in half a day, and I haven't done that in a long time. It's one of those squeely fangirly books, and did I meantion that I'm in love with Will? I reviewed it (but not in extreme detail) here.
I also saw Kimi wa Petto. And lets just say Matsujun throwing anyone against a vending machine and forcing a kiss on them is hot. VERY VERY HOT. I so want a matsujun of my own now.
Title: What I Know Now 4/5
Author: Catslove17
Fandom: Kurosagi
Pairing: Tsurara/Kurosagi
Genre: Lament
Rating: PG
Word Count: 768
Disclaimer: Owned by TBS
Summary: Four things Kurosagi taught Tsurara. One thing she taught him
Author's Notes: I hope to god that I don't repeat stuff, but I think I do ^^;;. Well .... enjoy. This is really just to make my post seem not so worthless.
Kurosagi had taught her how to wait
She hated what he did to her. Hated how he reduced her to some pathetic whimpering girl who plucked at flower petals and decorated notebooks. How he would enter her mind at any given moment. Taking her by surprise.
Her fantasies frightened her. They’d begun to occur with alarming frequency. At school, whilst grocery shopping, even late at night. Sometimes they were one happy family. The exaggerated kind you’d see on sitcoms. Other times he’d confess to her and pledge an honest and faithful life to her. Occasionally she would be his partner in crime, his accomplice and life partner. But mostly she’d confess and he’d say yes. She didn’t want an epic love story spanning decades and life times. Didn’t need the stuff movies and books took every opportunity to exploit. Just him. Just her. Just together,
She’d never felt this way about anyone before. She’d never felt that every moment mattered as much as it did when she was with him, she’d never searched so hard for hidden meanings within his stony gaze. She’d never longed so much that he would feel the same way.
She’d had her life planned out. She’d graduate university at 22, join a righteous firm, win several high profile cases, start up her own law firm, retire when she could no longer continue with the work load and die (preferably) comfortably in bed. HE wasn’t in any of her plans. He’d stepped in and out leisurely, wandering as he pleased, never caring for the whirlwind of emotions he’d left spinning behind him. And for once she was at a loss. He wasn’t planned. He wasn’t scheduled, and she didn’t know what to do with him. What to do with this. How to deal.
It frustrated her how easy it was for him to go. Let go, forget about her. After all it had almost happened once. The fact that he had felt no pain at the notion of leaving her, whilst hers was almost unbearable made her anxious. She’d never been the emotional one in any of her relationships. Never giving more than 50%. People where either friends with her or not. But with Kurosaki her heart lay bare for inspection. Cards open for all to see. Vulnerable. Weak. She’d never felt this way about anyone before. She’d never felt that every moment mattered as much as it did when she was with him, she’d never searched so hard for hidden meanings within his stony gaze. She’d never longed so much that he would feel the same way. And she knew one day he’d disappear off into the horizon leaving her behind, without a backwards glance.
So she tried everything to attract his attention. Nagging him feeding his cat, cutting her hair, pretending not to care. She refused to be as obvious as Yukari (and as stupid), using subtle ways. But he answered every attempt like the last. With a cold hopeless glare.
She wondered what it would’ve been like if they’d met in high school. Before all this. If he was the cool kid all the girls wanted to date, if he was the nerd who spent his lunch times at the library, if he’d always been the silent type. If they would have been high school sweethearts. If they would’ve been happy. Or at least happier than they were now. If they even constituted as a they.
It pained her that she couldn’t do anything to ease his pain. That she had no bandaids for his emotional grazes, no bandages for the hole in his heart, no cream for his scared soul. To him she was an annoying mosquito, humming and flying in his ear. To her he was unattainable. The first thing in her life she couldn’t work for.
There were times when something he did or said would ignite sparks of hope. A gesture, a look even a word. When he went against his policy and allowed her father to escape, when he relinquishing the ownership of his cat to her, when he called her Yoshikawa for the first time. However she refused to give herself any false hope. She could not live on assumed promises and empty air alone.
Yet those signs kept her up at night. The only thing which stopped her from cutting whatever strings that held them together. Head resting against the door, dressed for bed, listening for his footsteps, waiting for his safe return home, waiting for that click of key turning in lock. Waiting, wishing, hopeing against hope, for him to love her back.
icecapades !!!
I just finished reading Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, which is rumoured to be turning into a Japanese American join production movie, staring Horikita Maki and Matsuyama Ken'ichi. Obviously I'm excited. I randomly saw it on the shelf in my library and I decided to borrow it out, and although it seemed like a boring read, it was one of those really fangirly books, because I just found myself squeeing at all the guy characters. I personally hope Toma will play Will (her best friend who SPOILER! has a bit of a crush on her) because I think Nakatsu kinda suits will, and Toma does a mean Nakatsu. I actually recommend this book for people to read, as it's really quite fun. I read it in half a day, and I haven't done that in a long time. It's one of those squeely fangirly books, and did I meantion that I'm in love with Will? I reviewed it (but not in extreme detail) here.
I also saw Kimi wa Petto. And lets just say Matsujun throwing anyone against a vending machine and forcing a kiss on them is hot. VERY VERY HOT. I so want a matsujun of my own now.
Title: What I Know Now 4/5
Author: Catslove17
Fandom: Kurosagi
Pairing: Tsurara/Kurosagi
Genre: Lament
Rating: PG
Word Count: 768
Disclaimer: Owned by TBS
Summary: Four things Kurosagi taught Tsurara. One thing she taught him
Author's Notes: I hope to god that I don't repeat stuff, but I think I do ^^;;. Well .... enjoy. This is really just to make my post seem not so worthless.
Kurosagi had taught her how to wait
She hated what he did to her. Hated how he reduced her to some pathetic whimpering girl who plucked at flower petals and decorated notebooks. How he would enter her mind at any given moment. Taking her by surprise.
Her fantasies frightened her. They’d begun to occur with alarming frequency. At school, whilst grocery shopping, even late at night. Sometimes they were one happy family. The exaggerated kind you’d see on sitcoms. Other times he’d confess to her and pledge an honest and faithful life to her. Occasionally she would be his partner in crime, his accomplice and life partner. But mostly she’d confess and he’d say yes. She didn’t want an epic love story spanning decades and life times. Didn’t need the stuff movies and books took every opportunity to exploit. Just him. Just her. Just together,
She’d never felt this way about anyone before. She’d never felt that every moment mattered as much as it did when she was with him, she’d never searched so hard for hidden meanings within his stony gaze. She’d never longed so much that he would feel the same way.
She’d had her life planned out. She’d graduate university at 22, join a righteous firm, win several high profile cases, start up her own law firm, retire when she could no longer continue with the work load and die (preferably) comfortably in bed. HE wasn’t in any of her plans. He’d stepped in and out leisurely, wandering as he pleased, never caring for the whirlwind of emotions he’d left spinning behind him. And for once she was at a loss. He wasn’t planned. He wasn’t scheduled, and she didn’t know what to do with him. What to do with this. How to deal.
It frustrated her how easy it was for him to go. Let go, forget about her. After all it had almost happened once. The fact that he had felt no pain at the notion of leaving her, whilst hers was almost unbearable made her anxious. She’d never been the emotional one in any of her relationships. Never giving more than 50%. People where either friends with her or not. But with Kurosaki her heart lay bare for inspection. Cards open for all to see. Vulnerable. Weak. She’d never felt this way about anyone before. She’d never felt that every moment mattered as much as it did when she was with him, she’d never searched so hard for hidden meanings within his stony gaze. She’d never longed so much that he would feel the same way. And she knew one day he’d disappear off into the horizon leaving her behind, without a backwards glance.
So she tried everything to attract his attention. Nagging him feeding his cat, cutting her hair, pretending not to care. She refused to be as obvious as Yukari (and as stupid), using subtle ways. But he answered every attempt like the last. With a cold hopeless glare.
She wondered what it would’ve been like if they’d met in high school. Before all this. If he was the cool kid all the girls wanted to date, if he was the nerd who spent his lunch times at the library, if he’d always been the silent type. If they would have been high school sweethearts. If they would’ve been happy. Or at least happier than they were now. If they even constituted as a they.
It pained her that she couldn’t do anything to ease his pain. That she had no bandaids for his emotional grazes, no bandages for the hole in his heart, no cream for his scared soul. To him she was an annoying mosquito, humming and flying in his ear. To her he was unattainable. The first thing in her life she couldn’t work for.
There were times when something he did or said would ignite sparks of hope. A gesture, a look even a word. When he went against his policy and allowed her father to escape, when he relinquishing the ownership of his cat to her, when he called her Yoshikawa for the first time. However she refused to give herself any false hope. She could not live on assumed promises and empty air alone.
Yet those signs kept her up at night. The only thing which stopped her from cutting whatever strings that held them together. Head resting against the door, dressed for bed, listening for his footsteps, waiting for his safe return home, waiting for that click of key turning in lock. Waiting, wishing, hopeing against hope, for him to love her back.