After the Storm (5/6), Post JE, Rating Gen: Donna, Wilf, Sylvia, Jack, Tenth Doctor, Martha
WORDS: 3746
SPOILERS: Up to the The Next Doctor.
CREDITS: picture by rosengirl
RATING: Gen
CHARACTERS: Donna, Sylvia, Wilf, Tenth Doctor (original), Jack, Martha
Chapter Four
Chapter Three
Chapter Two
Chapter One
The Doctor braces himself for Donna's reaction as he tells her what he did to save her life - and Donna weighs up an unexpected job offer.
“First, I won’t carry a gun. I don’t do black leather, and I don’t do guns. If that means I don’t get to go in the field and do the sexy stuff, fine by me. I’ll infiltrate organisations as a temp. Be your eyes and ears. And I’ll do community liaison and sort your filing out. But no guns."
"Am I or am I not one who has heard much, who bears in mind what he has heard, who stores up what he has heard?”
(From “How to Admonish Another Skilfully” - The Noble Eightfold Path)
Tell the truth, but don’t thee be always telling it
(Old Lancashire proverb)
“Actually, maybe the beginning’s not the best place to start,” said Donna. “Why don’t we start with this terrible thing you say you did to me? Then if I decide to throw you out, you’ve not wasted any more time.”
The Doctor froze. He felt as if a red-hot spider was crawling over his skin. In the few seconds before he replied, every angry accusation Jack had made against him a couple of hours ago replayed itself in his mind. He’d reacted the way he usually reacted to that kind of criticism - pushed it deep down inside him, telling himself it didn’t matter what other people thought about him and then gone on brooding about it ever since.
Now every word of it came back and he quailed under the onslaught.
So he knew nothing about families. He just used them to dump off used companions with a clear conscience. He thought he had a perfect right to interfere with people’s lives and minds. He acted unilaterally and didn’t consult his trusted friends. Worst of all, he’d pushed his double out of sight for doing what he couldn’t face doing himself.
His silence had gone on longer than he’d realised. “Cat got your tongue, Doctor?” Donna asked. “Come on, we’ve got to get it out in the open sooner or later. Might as well be sooner.”
It was difficult to argue with the logic of that. He dived right in; much as he dreaded losing her so soon after their reunion, it was indeed the only way.
“Your mind had been taken over by an alien entity,” he began. “An intelligence far more advanced than that of any human. Whilst it was controlling you, you did some amazing things - you saved the whole of creation, no less. But you couldn’t sustain it. I had to stop it burning up your mind.”
The belligerence that Donna so often used to protect herself was fading from her face. Her eyes widened and any indignant retort she’d been framing died on her lips. Instead she fell silent, watching him. He had the welfare of this amazing women in his hands, and if he failed her again he didn’t think he’d be able to live with himself. There’d been nobody to ask, nobody to consult, nobody to reassure him. The only thing there had been people around for was to tell him what a terrible person he was. If there was one thing in all of creation that he already knew, that was it.
Then something awful began to happen. He started to cry. He’d not cried, in public or in private, since the Master had died in his arms, and he wanted to flee from the room rather than let her witness such weakness.
“You were dying,” he gulped. “You were going insane right in front of me and I didn’t have time to do anything to save you. So I did the only thing I could think of. I know I should have asked you. I know you’ll probably never forgive me…that I’ve lost you.”
“I’d never forgive you for saving my life?” she asked. “That doesn’t sound quite right.”
“I took away your memories.” He was shaking in self-disgust. “Every memory you had of me, everything we did together, I locked them away. And I didn’t even ask you. No informed consent. Nothing.” He looked at her, paralysed with some strange combination of shame and relief that prevented him doing the first thing to hide the tears that were now flowing freely down his cheeks.
“But I was going mad,” she pointed out. “You just said so. So unless you’d thought of getting me to sign a consent form the minute I met you, I don’t see how you could have asked me.”
“But it was still wrong!”
“What, not letting me die? Don’t be such a dickhead. Who gave you that idea?”
“Someone I….a friend. A human friend. He said I didn’t understand what it was like to be human.”
“Well, of course you don’t. You’re an alien. I mean, d’uh!”
“…that I just shove my companions away when it suits me, that I haven’t the guts to send them home in body bags if that’s what they wanted, that I turn them into weapons….”
“You know what you need?” said Donna. “You need some better friends.”
“No, that’d only make it worse!” He shook his head, wondering what horrified him more, the things he was telling her or the pathetic state he was in. “Because I make them all into murderers, you see. All these wonderful people who follow me. I won’t even carry a gun but I let them kill and die…”
“You didn’t let me die,” she pointed out. “Even though you thought you’d lose me, you saved my life.”
“And then I abandoned you…”
“You’re here now.”
“…I just keep running because I daren’t look back. I’m too ashamed.”
“Who is this ‘friend’ of yours?” Donna placed the word in heavily accented inverted commas, wiggling her fingers to match. “Because I’d like to have a word with him.”
“You can’t,” he protested. “You destroyed him.”
“Oh. Good!” Donna declared. “Sounds like he was a bit of a prat to me. Not the kind of person you should worry about.”
“He was the creator of the Dalek race!”
“What, the creator of the Daleks was human?”
“No. At least, not any more. What gave you that idea?”
Puzzled, Donna frowned. “You said he was human. This friend of yours who had a go at you. Or are we talking about somebody different here?”
She was right, of course. Jack’s words had hurt all the more because as he’d spoken, the Doctor had seen Davros, in all his twisted cruelty, ruthlessly searching out his weaknesses and breaking him apart.
Donna sat up with a deep breath, hugging her knees through the duvet. “Let me get this straight,” she said. “The madman who created the Daleks took a bit of time out in the middle of destroying the universe - yeah, I know I’m not supposed to remember, but that’s what they said on the news, and it was BBC 24, not “The Sun” or some rubbish like that - anyway, he took a bit of time out to get at you. Probably because you were trying to stop him doing whatever mad dictators like to do. You seem like that kind of bloke to me. And you believed everything he said. Not just that, you went away and brooded on it, so the minute someone else had a bit of a go at you, it all came flooding back.”
“No!” he cried, indignantly, before realising she was absolutely right and that was why he’d missed her so desperately. “Well, yes. Sort of. Maybe.”
“All those dead people of yours,” she said. “Did they all go around blaming themselves for everything? Or did they just watch from their nice planet and criticise all the poor sods like you who stick their neck out and try to make the universe a better place?”
He was still staring at her, mouth open like a useless fish, when the door opened and Jack came in.
Donna spoke first.
“So you’re Jack Harkness, the finest of the finest.”
“You’re too kind,” Jack smiled, no doubt pleasantly surprised to be handed a flirting opportunity with so little effort on his part.
“You really know how to compliment a lady,” Donna went on, her face more than a little ironic - but that seemed to be lost on Jack. “Saving the whole of creation indeed. Next time a handsome stranger comes to my door and says I’m awesome, maybe I should believe him after all.”
“Oh, that depends on who he is,” said the Doctor. “If it’s him, I’d be very suspicious.”
“Oh, thanks a lot,” Jack said. “Nice to know who your friends are.”
Donna gave him a very pointed look “So,” she said, slowly. “Tell me, Captain Jack Harkness. Would you describe yourself as the Doctor’s friend?”
Jack blinked. “Yeah, I guess so…”
“Well, he’s upset. Someone’s had a go at him. What are you going to do about it?”
“Donna, I’m fine. I’m perfectly, absolutely fine!” the Doctor protested, rapidly wiping his eyes.
“You don’t look fine,” said Jack.
Donna got out of bed and stood with her hands on her hips. “Are you the so-called friend that’s been going on at him for wiping my memories and saving my life?”
Jack, most unusually, appeared to be fascinated by a ball of fluff on the carpet, prodding at it with the toe of his boot.
“Let’s get a few things clear,” Donna went on. “First, I would rather be amnesiac than dead. Second, before you have a go at someone you should always remember they might have been doing their best in a lousy set of circumstances. Third, you ought to apologise for upsetting him. Now, what did you come in here to tell me about?”
“Actually,” said Jack, rubbing the back of his neck, “I came in to offer you a job.”
“Oh,” said Donna.
“WHAT?” exclaimed the Doctor.
*******
Downstairs, before a tactfully silent Martha and an open-mouthed Wilf and Sylvia, Captain Jack Harkness began his recruitment pitch.
“The 21st century is where it all changes and you gotta be ready. We’re Torchwood. Outside the Government, outside the police, beyond the United Nations…”
“Excuse me,” Donna interrupted. “If that kind of thing impressed me I’d get the Doctor to fly me back a few years and go and work for George Bush. What exactly do you do?”
“Aliens,” Jack said. “We keep humanity safe from aliens.”
“I thought that was the Doctor’s job?”
“He isn’t here all the time. And we have to learn how to take care of ourselves.”
“Except when the Daleks invade,” said Donna. “Then you all get on the phone to the Doctor, am I right?”
“That was big-name, end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it stuff,” Jack explained. “Not your day-to-day shit.”
“Oh, so that goes in the file under ‘A for Apocolypse’ or ‘C for Call the Doctor?'’’
“Don’t be facetious about these things, Donna,” warned the Doctor. Then he winked at her. “That’s my job.”
“Look,” said Jack, “Cardiff is right on top of a rift in time and space. All kinds of stuff fetches up. We’ve always been an underground outfit but that’s about to change. After these recent events, we’ll be moving into an era of greater visibility and transparency. You could say we’re about learning to embrace the alien…”
Martha undermined the solemnity of the moment by stifling a snort of laughter. “Sorry,” she spluttered.
“Are you all right, dear?” Sylvia fussed. “Would you like a glass of water?”
“Oh no. I’m fine,” Martha choked.
The Doctor caught Donna’s eye. “Jack does have something of a reputation,” he explained.
“I can imagine,” Donna agreed. “So, you’re above things and beyond things, but you’re entitled to lecture the Doctor on his morality? Who polices you?”
“We’ve systems in place,” Jack said vaguely.
“Guantanamo Bay was a system!” Donna pointed out.
“Now don’t go bringing politics into it,” Sylvia scolded. “This nice man’s offering you a job, and it’s not appropriate.”
“I’m going to be patrolling the streets of Cardiff hunting aliens and that isn’t political?”
“Depends on how you do it. Maybe they just want you to make the coffee or something. After all, you’re not well enough to get a proper job.”
The Doctor waited for bits of Sylvia Noble to be left spattering the walls.
“We already have coffee-making covered,” Jack explained. “You’d be working as part of a hand-picked team. Three of us already have close connections to the Doctor. We’ve the facilities he needs to get you well again, and you’d be able to talk openly about your experiences with us. It’s a chance for you to make a new start.” He treated Donna to his most seductive smile. “I’m sure that with your talents you’d have a huge amount to offer all of us. Of course, you’d report directly to me…”
“Does the job description include shagging you?” Donna asked, sweetly.
“Donna!” cried Sylvia.
“That’s my girl!” Wilf chortled.
“Of course not,” Jack replied, without missing a beat. “Your private life is up to you and Torchwood won’t affect it in any way whatsoever.”
“Then why do you keep flirting with me?”
“Because I’m omnisexual,” Jack replied. “It’s how I relate to people.”
“Well, you’re not relating like that to me, sunshine!” said Donna. “I’ll come and take a look around. But there’s two things I won’t do, and you might as well know about them now.”
“And what might those be?” Jack asked.
“First, I won’t carry a gun. I don’t do black leather, and I don’t do guns. If that means I don’t get to go in the field and do the sexy stuff, fine by me. I’ll infiltrate organisations as a temp. Be your eyes and ears. And I’ll do community liaison and sort your filing out. But no guns. I will not be turned into a weapon unless it’s in an official conflict scenario ratified by the United Nations Task Force or the Shadow Proclamation.”
The Doctor thought he might burst with pride right there on the spot.
“I see you’re getting your memories back, love,” said Wilf, patting her hand.
“We’ve done the Adipose so far,” Donna explained. “And a bit of the Sontarans.”
“Son-tar-ans,” the Doctor couldn’t resist correcting her.
“And the other thing?” Jack asked, when he’d got his breath back.
“Welsh. Call me racist if you like but I will not speak Welsh. I think it’s the most disgusting language ever created.”
“Well, on Earth,” said the Doctor. “You should hear glotteral demotic Ca’to’talaxian sometime. Or Finnish,” he added, as an afterthought.
“Anything else?” Jack asked, weakly.
“Can’t think of anything right now.” Donna stood up. “I’ll go upstairs and pack, then. Fire up that TARDIS of yours, Spaceman.”
*****
When Jack came into the TARDIS a few minutes later, the Doctor was busy piling up Donna’s numerous possessions ready to be moved back into her home, and from there, in due course, into the SUV ready for her new life in Cardiff.
“Fix up somewhere nice for her,” ordered the Doctor. “Not just one of your hostels. I’ll cover it. I’ll underwrite her salary, if it comes to that. Just make sure she never finds out.”
“Seems a pity you can’t just give us all a lift,” said Jack, wondering what a large striped hatbox was doing in the control room.
“Better not to risk it,” the Doctor said. “She’s doing so well. We don’t want to rush things and risk another crisis.”
He seemed brighter, Jack thought. He got the feeling that his bustling around was based on busyness and genuine enthusiasm, rather than the usual displacement activity. This might not be the ideal solution, but it was by far the best they were likely to get.
“Look,” he said, awkwardly. “Donna’s right. I owe you an apology for the way I took you apart earlier on.”
The Doctor stopped and looked at him. “Thank you,” he said.
It was obvious he’d have been prepared to leave things there, but Jack felt the need to say more. For him, the fallout from the stolen Earth episode was recent, and still imperfectly understood. “Wasn’t just some abstract moral thing,” he added. “None of us are perfect, I’d be the first to admit. I know you’ve stood back sometimes and watched me do things you’d’ve done differently.”
He stopped. Unspoken memories filled the space between them.
“No, it wasn’t just that,” Jack said again.
“I know.” The TARDIS hummed. It felt as if the old ship knew what they were both thinking. Probably she did.
“I’d waited a long time to see Rose again,” Jack said, at last. “I wanted you two to get that happy ending. If I’d been there…”
“No, Jack.” Sighing deeply, the Doctor walked round to his side of the console. “There wasn’t any happy ending possible for us. I’m going to outlive her by centuries. No matter how many years we had together, it wouldn’t be enough for me. And humans change. They don’t want to wander the universe for ever, even though they think they do before the aches and pains kick in.”
“Do you really think you were too selfish to settle down for a few years while Rose got old?” Jack asked. “Hate to sound as if I’m taking the moral high ground again, but to me that sounds rather shallow.”
He shook his head. “I am that selfish, Jack. And I shouldn’t be. I’m selfish enough to know someone’s built a dimension cannon to get back to me and not ask if that was the right thing to do. Selfish enough to forget the world needs me when I see what I want more than anything else at the end of a street and I just start running.”
Jack wondered how to tell him that those moments while he’d watched Rose and the Doctor run towards one another, their faces flooded with joy, had lit a flame of hope in his heart that even Davros and the end of creation couldn’t have put out.
“So love doesn’t conquer all?” he asked, sadly.
“It can’t. Not that kind of love, the kind that looks at one person, says she’s everything you want, and forgets the rest. I should have known that all along. If it hadn’t been for the Time War, I’d have remembered sooner.”
“What about the regeneration?” Jack asked. “Did you know how it was gonna go?”
He shook his head. “No. I honestly hadn’t a clue. Uncharted territory, Jack. And I wish I could say I only aborted it because we couldn’t afford to have me out of action for hours. But if I did say that, I’d be lying.”
Silently, Jack nodded. “I guess I’m human enough to lash out when a story doesn’t end the way I wanted,” he confessed. “I wish I’d gotten to say goodbye.”
The Doctor reached out and pulled him into a hug. “I was wrong to deprive you of that,” he agreed. “Truth was, I was afraid that if I delayed too long I’d never be able to carry it through. The worst bit was convincing Rose I didn’t…”
He couldn’t go on for a minute.
“You never would,” said Jack. “She knows. She always knew.”
“But at least she thinks I couldn’t say it.”
“And he could?”
“Yep. He’s me. Of course he could.”
“Do you think they’ll be happy?” asked Jack.
“I hope so. I gave them every chance I could. I even left them a bit of this old girl so they could grow a TARDIS.” He’d said all he was prepared to say on the subject; now he turned back to the pile of luggage. “Right, then. Since you’re here…”
Jack was saved from bellhop duty by the arrival of Donna at the open door. “Told you I’d find you,” she said. “Wait a minute. That’s my stuff. No wonder I couldn’t find anything in my bedroom! You’ve even got the hat box.”
“Yeah,” said the Doctor, smiling through his concern. “Planet of the Hats, we’re ready. But it’s dangerous for you to be here, Donna. And it won’t take long to go through this lot. Just tell me what you want transporting…”
“I’m coming with you,” Donna said firmly.
“We’ve been through this, Donna…” the Doctor began.
“Yeah, I know,” Donna replied. “But aren’t you forgetting something, Doctor? I’ve already seen the TARDIS. I’ve seen it dark and dying, with Rose sitting in it telling me how it used to be filled with light. And if I could handle that - well, I can handle this.”
The Doctor was clearly moved. “You saw the TARDIS like that?”
She nodded. “I know about Rose, and I’ll never talk about her if you don’t want to. I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know, probably never will, but I think I know what matters most.”
“Jack knows,” he said, quietly. “You can talk to him. He loved her, too.”
He’d finally said it, thought Jack. Now, when it was too late and she’d never know. But perhaps it wasn’t too late, because love transformed the lover, not only the beloved. He knew, somehow, that the Doctor would open his heart to Donna, over and over, in ways he never would have done to him and Rose, even when their partnership was at its peak. That probably wouldn’t have happened without Rose. He’d been on a journey, not only through time and space, but also through the byways of his complicated hearts. Jack happened to believe that was always a journey worth taking.
He smiled at Donna. “Said your goodbyes?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m ready.” Jack noticed that, in her unlikely way, Donna Noble was really quite beautiful.
It was going to be a challenging few months at Torchwood Three. No less than three new members to integrate into a team still reeling from the loss of Tosh and Owen, and a world stunned by an alien threat it could no longer ignore. They needed a character as strong and bolshie as Donna to fight against the anti-alien backlash there was bound to be, as fear and paranoia took a hold and every representative of human authority was treated as suspect by the conspiracy theorists. The dynamic of his team was a fragile thing and he honestly had no idea how it was going to pan out with three new people - four if you included the Doctor, who seemed sincere in his expressed desire to stay around a while in linear time to see Donna’s recovery process through.
Still, better to look forward than to dwell on the missed opportunities of the past and the once-familiar faces gone for ever. He hoped that, far away in another universe, two equally special people were learning to look ahead, to love one another, and to recognise the truth of that.
SPOILERS: Up to the The Next Doctor.
CREDITS: picture by rosengirl
RATING: Gen
CHARACTERS: Donna, Sylvia, Wilf, Tenth Doctor (original), Jack, Martha
Chapter Four
Chapter Three
Chapter Two
Chapter One
The Doctor braces himself for Donna's reaction as he tells her what he did to save her life - and Donna weighs up an unexpected job offer.
“First, I won’t carry a gun. I don’t do black leather, and I don’t do guns. If that means I don’t get to go in the field and do the sexy stuff, fine by me. I’ll infiltrate organisations as a temp. Be your eyes and ears. And I’ll do community liaison and sort your filing out. But no guns."
"Am I or am I not one who has heard much, who bears in mind what he has heard, who stores up what he has heard?”
(From “How to Admonish Another Skilfully” - The Noble Eightfold Path)
Tell the truth, but don’t thee be always telling it
(Old Lancashire proverb)
“Actually, maybe the beginning’s not the best place to start,” said Donna. “Why don’t we start with this terrible thing you say you did to me? Then if I decide to throw you out, you’ve not wasted any more time.”
The Doctor froze. He felt as if a red-hot spider was crawling over his skin. In the few seconds before he replied, every angry accusation Jack had made against him a couple of hours ago replayed itself in his mind. He’d reacted the way he usually reacted to that kind of criticism - pushed it deep down inside him, telling himself it didn’t matter what other people thought about him and then gone on brooding about it ever since.
Now every word of it came back and he quailed under the onslaught.
So he knew nothing about families. He just used them to dump off used companions with a clear conscience. He thought he had a perfect right to interfere with people’s lives and minds. He acted unilaterally and didn’t consult his trusted friends. Worst of all, he’d pushed his double out of sight for doing what he couldn’t face doing himself.
His silence had gone on longer than he’d realised. “Cat got your tongue, Doctor?” Donna asked. “Come on, we’ve got to get it out in the open sooner or later. Might as well be sooner.”
It was difficult to argue with the logic of that. He dived right in; much as he dreaded losing her so soon after their reunion, it was indeed the only way.
“Your mind had been taken over by an alien entity,” he began. “An intelligence far more advanced than that of any human. Whilst it was controlling you, you did some amazing things - you saved the whole of creation, no less. But you couldn’t sustain it. I had to stop it burning up your mind.”
The belligerence that Donna so often used to protect herself was fading from her face. Her eyes widened and any indignant retort she’d been framing died on her lips. Instead she fell silent, watching him. He had the welfare of this amazing women in his hands, and if he failed her again he didn’t think he’d be able to live with himself. There’d been nobody to ask, nobody to consult, nobody to reassure him. The only thing there had been people around for was to tell him what a terrible person he was. If there was one thing in all of creation that he already knew, that was it.
Then something awful began to happen. He started to cry. He’d not cried, in public or in private, since the Master had died in his arms, and he wanted to flee from the room rather than let her witness such weakness.
“You were dying,” he gulped. “You were going insane right in front of me and I didn’t have time to do anything to save you. So I did the only thing I could think of. I know I should have asked you. I know you’ll probably never forgive me…that I’ve lost you.”
“I’d never forgive you for saving my life?” she asked. “That doesn’t sound quite right.”
“I took away your memories.” He was shaking in self-disgust. “Every memory you had of me, everything we did together, I locked them away. And I didn’t even ask you. No informed consent. Nothing.” He looked at her, paralysed with some strange combination of shame and relief that prevented him doing the first thing to hide the tears that were now flowing freely down his cheeks.
“But I was going mad,” she pointed out. “You just said so. So unless you’d thought of getting me to sign a consent form the minute I met you, I don’t see how you could have asked me.”
“But it was still wrong!”
“What, not letting me die? Don’t be such a dickhead. Who gave you that idea?”
“Someone I….a friend. A human friend. He said I didn’t understand what it was like to be human.”
“Well, of course you don’t. You’re an alien. I mean, d’uh!”
“…that I just shove my companions away when it suits me, that I haven’t the guts to send them home in body bags if that’s what they wanted, that I turn them into weapons….”
“You know what you need?” said Donna. “You need some better friends.”
“No, that’d only make it worse!” He shook his head, wondering what horrified him more, the things he was telling her or the pathetic state he was in. “Because I make them all into murderers, you see. All these wonderful people who follow me. I won’t even carry a gun but I let them kill and die…”
“You didn’t let me die,” she pointed out. “Even though you thought you’d lose me, you saved my life.”
“And then I abandoned you…”
“You’re here now.”
“…I just keep running because I daren’t look back. I’m too ashamed.”
“Who is this ‘friend’ of yours?” Donna placed the word in heavily accented inverted commas, wiggling her fingers to match. “Because I’d like to have a word with him.”
“You can’t,” he protested. “You destroyed him.”
“Oh. Good!” Donna declared. “Sounds like he was a bit of a prat to me. Not the kind of person you should worry about.”
“He was the creator of the Dalek race!”
“What, the creator of the Daleks was human?”
“No. At least, not any more. What gave you that idea?”
Puzzled, Donna frowned. “You said he was human. This friend of yours who had a go at you. Or are we talking about somebody different here?”
She was right, of course. Jack’s words had hurt all the more because as he’d spoken, the Doctor had seen Davros, in all his twisted cruelty, ruthlessly searching out his weaknesses and breaking him apart.
Donna sat up with a deep breath, hugging her knees through the duvet. “Let me get this straight,” she said. “The madman who created the Daleks took a bit of time out in the middle of destroying the universe - yeah, I know I’m not supposed to remember, but that’s what they said on the news, and it was BBC 24, not “The Sun” or some rubbish like that - anyway, he took a bit of time out to get at you. Probably because you were trying to stop him doing whatever mad dictators like to do. You seem like that kind of bloke to me. And you believed everything he said. Not just that, you went away and brooded on it, so the minute someone else had a bit of a go at you, it all came flooding back.”
“No!” he cried, indignantly, before realising she was absolutely right and that was why he’d missed her so desperately. “Well, yes. Sort of. Maybe.”
“All those dead people of yours,” she said. “Did they all go around blaming themselves for everything? Or did they just watch from their nice planet and criticise all the poor sods like you who stick their neck out and try to make the universe a better place?”
He was still staring at her, mouth open like a useless fish, when the door opened and Jack came in.
Donna spoke first.
“So you’re Jack Harkness, the finest of the finest.”
“You’re too kind,” Jack smiled, no doubt pleasantly surprised to be handed a flirting opportunity with so little effort on his part.
“You really know how to compliment a lady,” Donna went on, her face more than a little ironic - but that seemed to be lost on Jack. “Saving the whole of creation indeed. Next time a handsome stranger comes to my door and says I’m awesome, maybe I should believe him after all.”
“Oh, that depends on who he is,” said the Doctor. “If it’s him, I’d be very suspicious.”
“Oh, thanks a lot,” Jack said. “Nice to know who your friends are.”
Donna gave him a very pointed look “So,” she said, slowly. “Tell me, Captain Jack Harkness. Would you describe yourself as the Doctor’s friend?”
Jack blinked. “Yeah, I guess so…”
“Well, he’s upset. Someone’s had a go at him. What are you going to do about it?”
“Donna, I’m fine. I’m perfectly, absolutely fine!” the Doctor protested, rapidly wiping his eyes.
“You don’t look fine,” said Jack.
Donna got out of bed and stood with her hands on her hips. “Are you the so-called friend that’s been going on at him for wiping my memories and saving my life?”
Jack, most unusually, appeared to be fascinated by a ball of fluff on the carpet, prodding at it with the toe of his boot.
“Let’s get a few things clear,” Donna went on. “First, I would rather be amnesiac than dead. Second, before you have a go at someone you should always remember they might have been doing their best in a lousy set of circumstances. Third, you ought to apologise for upsetting him. Now, what did you come in here to tell me about?”
“Actually,” said Jack, rubbing the back of his neck, “I came in to offer you a job.”
“Oh,” said Donna.
“WHAT?” exclaimed the Doctor.
*******
Downstairs, before a tactfully silent Martha and an open-mouthed Wilf and Sylvia, Captain Jack Harkness began his recruitment pitch.
“The 21st century is where it all changes and you gotta be ready. We’re Torchwood. Outside the Government, outside the police, beyond the United Nations…”
“Excuse me,” Donna interrupted. “If that kind of thing impressed me I’d get the Doctor to fly me back a few years and go and work for George Bush. What exactly do you do?”
“Aliens,” Jack said. “We keep humanity safe from aliens.”
“I thought that was the Doctor’s job?”
“He isn’t here all the time. And we have to learn how to take care of ourselves.”
“Except when the Daleks invade,” said Donna. “Then you all get on the phone to the Doctor, am I right?”
“That was big-name, end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it stuff,” Jack explained. “Not your day-to-day shit.”
“Oh, so that goes in the file under ‘A for Apocolypse’ or ‘C for Call the Doctor?'’’
“Don’t be facetious about these things, Donna,” warned the Doctor. Then he winked at her. “That’s my job.”
“Look,” said Jack, “Cardiff is right on top of a rift in time and space. All kinds of stuff fetches up. We’ve always been an underground outfit but that’s about to change. After these recent events, we’ll be moving into an era of greater visibility and transparency. You could say we’re about learning to embrace the alien…”
Martha undermined the solemnity of the moment by stifling a snort of laughter. “Sorry,” she spluttered.
“Are you all right, dear?” Sylvia fussed. “Would you like a glass of water?”
“Oh no. I’m fine,” Martha choked.
The Doctor caught Donna’s eye. “Jack does have something of a reputation,” he explained.
“I can imagine,” Donna agreed. “So, you’re above things and beyond things, but you’re entitled to lecture the Doctor on his morality? Who polices you?”
“We’ve systems in place,” Jack said vaguely.
“Guantanamo Bay was a system!” Donna pointed out.
“Now don’t go bringing politics into it,” Sylvia scolded. “This nice man’s offering you a job, and it’s not appropriate.”
“I’m going to be patrolling the streets of Cardiff hunting aliens and that isn’t political?”
“Depends on how you do it. Maybe they just want you to make the coffee or something. After all, you’re not well enough to get a proper job.”
The Doctor waited for bits of Sylvia Noble to be left spattering the walls.
“We already have coffee-making covered,” Jack explained. “You’d be working as part of a hand-picked team. Three of us already have close connections to the Doctor. We’ve the facilities he needs to get you well again, and you’d be able to talk openly about your experiences with us. It’s a chance for you to make a new start.” He treated Donna to his most seductive smile. “I’m sure that with your talents you’d have a huge amount to offer all of us. Of course, you’d report directly to me…”
“Does the job description include shagging you?” Donna asked, sweetly.
“Donna!” cried Sylvia.
“That’s my girl!” Wilf chortled.
“Of course not,” Jack replied, without missing a beat. “Your private life is up to you and Torchwood won’t affect it in any way whatsoever.”
“Then why do you keep flirting with me?”
“Because I’m omnisexual,” Jack replied. “It’s how I relate to people.”
“Well, you’re not relating like that to me, sunshine!” said Donna. “I’ll come and take a look around. But there’s two things I won’t do, and you might as well know about them now.”
“And what might those be?” Jack asked.
“First, I won’t carry a gun. I don’t do black leather, and I don’t do guns. If that means I don’t get to go in the field and do the sexy stuff, fine by me. I’ll infiltrate organisations as a temp. Be your eyes and ears. And I’ll do community liaison and sort your filing out. But no guns. I will not be turned into a weapon unless it’s in an official conflict scenario ratified by the United Nations Task Force or the Shadow Proclamation.”
The Doctor thought he might burst with pride right there on the spot.
“I see you’re getting your memories back, love,” said Wilf, patting her hand.
“We’ve done the Adipose so far,” Donna explained. “And a bit of the Sontarans.”
“Son-tar-ans,” the Doctor couldn’t resist correcting her.
“And the other thing?” Jack asked, when he’d got his breath back.
“Welsh. Call me racist if you like but I will not speak Welsh. I think it’s the most disgusting language ever created.”
“Well, on Earth,” said the Doctor. “You should hear glotteral demotic Ca’to’talaxian sometime. Or Finnish,” he added, as an afterthought.
“Anything else?” Jack asked, weakly.
“Can’t think of anything right now.” Donna stood up. “I’ll go upstairs and pack, then. Fire up that TARDIS of yours, Spaceman.”
*****
When Jack came into the TARDIS a few minutes later, the Doctor was busy piling up Donna’s numerous possessions ready to be moved back into her home, and from there, in due course, into the SUV ready for her new life in Cardiff.
“Fix up somewhere nice for her,” ordered the Doctor. “Not just one of your hostels. I’ll cover it. I’ll underwrite her salary, if it comes to that. Just make sure she never finds out.”
“Seems a pity you can’t just give us all a lift,” said Jack, wondering what a large striped hatbox was doing in the control room.
“Better not to risk it,” the Doctor said. “She’s doing so well. We don’t want to rush things and risk another crisis.”
He seemed brighter, Jack thought. He got the feeling that his bustling around was based on busyness and genuine enthusiasm, rather than the usual displacement activity. This might not be the ideal solution, but it was by far the best they were likely to get.
“Look,” he said, awkwardly. “Donna’s right. I owe you an apology for the way I took you apart earlier on.”
The Doctor stopped and looked at him. “Thank you,” he said.
It was obvious he’d have been prepared to leave things there, but Jack felt the need to say more. For him, the fallout from the stolen Earth episode was recent, and still imperfectly understood. “Wasn’t just some abstract moral thing,” he added. “None of us are perfect, I’d be the first to admit. I know you’ve stood back sometimes and watched me do things you’d’ve done differently.”
He stopped. Unspoken memories filled the space between them.
“No, it wasn’t just that,” Jack said again.
“I know.” The TARDIS hummed. It felt as if the old ship knew what they were both thinking. Probably she did.
“I’d waited a long time to see Rose again,” Jack said, at last. “I wanted you two to get that happy ending. If I’d been there…”
“No, Jack.” Sighing deeply, the Doctor walked round to his side of the console. “There wasn’t any happy ending possible for us. I’m going to outlive her by centuries. No matter how many years we had together, it wouldn’t be enough for me. And humans change. They don’t want to wander the universe for ever, even though they think they do before the aches and pains kick in.”
“Do you really think you were too selfish to settle down for a few years while Rose got old?” Jack asked. “Hate to sound as if I’m taking the moral high ground again, but to me that sounds rather shallow.”
He shook his head. “I am that selfish, Jack. And I shouldn’t be. I’m selfish enough to know someone’s built a dimension cannon to get back to me and not ask if that was the right thing to do. Selfish enough to forget the world needs me when I see what I want more than anything else at the end of a street and I just start running.”
Jack wondered how to tell him that those moments while he’d watched Rose and the Doctor run towards one another, their faces flooded with joy, had lit a flame of hope in his heart that even Davros and the end of creation couldn’t have put out.
“So love doesn’t conquer all?” he asked, sadly.
“It can’t. Not that kind of love, the kind that looks at one person, says she’s everything you want, and forgets the rest. I should have known that all along. If it hadn’t been for the Time War, I’d have remembered sooner.”
“What about the regeneration?” Jack asked. “Did you know how it was gonna go?”
He shook his head. “No. I honestly hadn’t a clue. Uncharted territory, Jack. And I wish I could say I only aborted it because we couldn’t afford to have me out of action for hours. But if I did say that, I’d be lying.”
Silently, Jack nodded. “I guess I’m human enough to lash out when a story doesn’t end the way I wanted,” he confessed. “I wish I’d gotten to say goodbye.”
The Doctor reached out and pulled him into a hug. “I was wrong to deprive you of that,” he agreed. “Truth was, I was afraid that if I delayed too long I’d never be able to carry it through. The worst bit was convincing Rose I didn’t…”
He couldn’t go on for a minute.
“You never would,” said Jack. “She knows. She always knew.”
“But at least she thinks I couldn’t say it.”
“And he could?”
“Yep. He’s me. Of course he could.”
“Do you think they’ll be happy?” asked Jack.
“I hope so. I gave them every chance I could. I even left them a bit of this old girl so they could grow a TARDIS.” He’d said all he was prepared to say on the subject; now he turned back to the pile of luggage. “Right, then. Since you’re here…”
Jack was saved from bellhop duty by the arrival of Donna at the open door. “Told you I’d find you,” she said. “Wait a minute. That’s my stuff. No wonder I couldn’t find anything in my bedroom! You’ve even got the hat box.”
“Yeah,” said the Doctor, smiling through his concern. “Planet of the Hats, we’re ready. But it’s dangerous for you to be here, Donna. And it won’t take long to go through this lot. Just tell me what you want transporting…”
“I’m coming with you,” Donna said firmly.
“We’ve been through this, Donna…” the Doctor began.
“Yeah, I know,” Donna replied. “But aren’t you forgetting something, Doctor? I’ve already seen the TARDIS. I’ve seen it dark and dying, with Rose sitting in it telling me how it used to be filled with light. And if I could handle that - well, I can handle this.”
The Doctor was clearly moved. “You saw the TARDIS like that?”
She nodded. “I know about Rose, and I’ll never talk about her if you don’t want to. I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know, probably never will, but I think I know what matters most.”
“Jack knows,” he said, quietly. “You can talk to him. He loved her, too.”
He’d finally said it, thought Jack. Now, when it was too late and she’d never know. But perhaps it wasn’t too late, because love transformed the lover, not only the beloved. He knew, somehow, that the Doctor would open his heart to Donna, over and over, in ways he never would have done to him and Rose, even when their partnership was at its peak. That probably wouldn’t have happened without Rose. He’d been on a journey, not only through time and space, but also through the byways of his complicated hearts. Jack happened to believe that was always a journey worth taking.
He smiled at Donna. “Said your goodbyes?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m ready.” Jack noticed that, in her unlikely way, Donna Noble was really quite beautiful.
It was going to be a challenging few months at Torchwood Three. No less than three new members to integrate into a team still reeling from the loss of Tosh and Owen, and a world stunned by an alien threat it could no longer ignore. They needed a character as strong and bolshie as Donna to fight against the anti-alien backlash there was bound to be, as fear and paranoia took a hold and every representative of human authority was treated as suspect by the conspiracy theorists. The dynamic of his team was a fragile thing and he honestly had no idea how it was going to pan out with three new people - four if you included the Doctor, who seemed sincere in his expressed desire to stay around a while in linear time to see Donna’s recovery process through.
Still, better to look forward than to dwell on the missed opportunities of the past and the once-familiar faces gone for ever. He hoped that, far away in another universe, two equally special people were learning to look ahead, to love one another, and to recognise the truth of that.