Too young to be falling apart!! (skip if you're only here for the doujinshi!)
Okay, I've been having trouble with the last year+ with blood clots. After the last one, back in November, I went to see a hematologist to have some tests done to see if they could find out why I keep getting them.
I though at the time that I wanted them to find something, so I would know WHY I get clots even though I'm semi-active and in decent shape, with no family history of clots.
It turns out, what I really wanted was to be told that there isn't any reason, and that things should be fine from now on, and I shouldn't get any more clots.
Instead, in the first batch of tests I tested positive for the Lupus Anticoagulant. It's NOT Lupus! It's not an anticoagulant, either--it actually does cause clotting. So, that's why I keep getting unexplained blood clots. But, it's a thingy that can come and go, so that led to more blood tests. And more stuff came back--I still had the Lupus Anticoagulant, and also antinuclear antibodies, and my liver isn't working right.
So, the part of me that is sane and rational can say "well, you need to see a rheumatologist and have some more tests done to figure out what's going on."
But the part of me that works at night by myself, or lays awake in bed before falling asleep, or just has too much time to think, keeps screaming: "You have lupus and it's attacking your liver! Get your affairs in order!" (No, lupus isn't generally fatal. But the rational, sane part of my mind has no say at night and so on.)
So, I spent a few days after I got the test results back last Wed morning feeling sorry for myself and wondering how my family would get along without me. Sometimes I think my mind hates me...
On the bright side, I've saned up a bit, and I just keep reminding myself that it's never lupus, so I should quit worrying about it! (At least while the sane part is in charge!)
I though at the time that I wanted them to find something, so I would know WHY I get clots even though I'm semi-active and in decent shape, with no family history of clots.
It turns out, what I really wanted was to be told that there isn't any reason, and that things should be fine from now on, and I shouldn't get any more clots.
Instead, in the first batch of tests I tested positive for the Lupus Anticoagulant. It's NOT Lupus! It's not an anticoagulant, either--it actually does cause clotting. So, that's why I keep getting unexplained blood clots. But, it's a thingy that can come and go, so that led to more blood tests. And more stuff came back--I still had the Lupus Anticoagulant, and also antinuclear antibodies, and my liver isn't working right.
So, the part of me that is sane and rational can say "well, you need to see a rheumatologist and have some more tests done to figure out what's going on."
But the part of me that works at night by myself, or lays awake in bed before falling asleep, or just has too much time to think, keeps screaming: "You have lupus and it's attacking your liver! Get your affairs in order!" (No, lupus isn't generally fatal. But the rational, sane part of my mind has no say at night and so on.)
So, I spent a few days after I got the test results back last Wed morning feeling sorry for myself and wondering how my family would get along without me. Sometimes I think my mind hates me...
On the bright side, I've saned up a bit, and I just keep reminding myself that it's never lupus, so I should quit worrying about it! (At least while the sane part is in charge!)