Homework?

[catrinp]

My boys are in high school. A private school. They are very active with sports - school runners club three morning a week, school sport training one afternoon a week, plus the game, sports training outside of school twice a week plus the game. One day a week is free of activities, not counting weekends that can be full or empty

Comments

[catrinp]

Thanks, I understand completely. I appreciate your insight - I was a kid in highschool once, but somedays it seems so long ago.

Point A. We try to not have the TV on. If it is (because hubby needs or wants) it's the one in our bedroom. Must remind hubby to shut the door so the noise doesn't filter down. Since I have two sons the same age, neither of them get to watch TV if the other has homework - not entirely fair but such is life.

Point B. I try desperately to NOT say this. I try desparately to say it in other positive ways, but sometimes it is hard. This particular son is so smart, so intellegent, has so much potential. He gets very high marks (at least he did in promary school) without breaking a sweat. He is in the top 5 in all sports he attempts with no or little training.

My other son has learning and physical difficulties. He is determined to not let his brother beat him (although he does, but the gap is getting smaller) He puts in 110% into school and gets average marks, He puts in 110% into sport and is above average, but below his brother, who just breezes in effort.

Not that I want to take that determination away from him, but I wish I could transfer just a little of it into the other boy. With a touch of determination he could be top. Not top 5% or even top 3% (which he is in some things), but top 1%.

Ah well the trials of a mother.

I have noticed though that recently my nagging about little things (like clean you teeth properly or you will have major problems when you are older, your breath will smell now and no one will like you, you teeth will go yellow and you would want to smile - you know the standard mother nagging) have actually worked. in his own sweet time he has recognised the truth of these nags and is now doing these little task without nagging, well mostly without nagging.

Maybe I can hope.

[onyxflame]

Well, as one of the "smart but lazy" kids, maybe I can shed some light on why your one son is behaving that way.

Basically he's thinking "if I do this good when I don't even try, why do I need to try harder?" That and "man this schoolwork is so easy it's boring". He's also not used to HAVING to exert effort, so when he encounters something that DOES challenge his abilities, he gets kinda lost and frustrated and is even less likely to exert effort than he was before. I'm not entirely sure how to change this, but you might try getting him involved in something that he has no natural aptitude for and see if it improves his work ethic. Or when he gets old enough, make him get a summer job or something. I know I'd be a lot better than I am now if I'd had a good work ethic instilled in me at a young age, but instead my life taught me that I either didn't need to work to get anything, or that no amount of work would actually accomplish anything.

[catrinp]

You're right and I have realised this, but haven't worked out how to change it.

I'm trying to get him to do drama. Luckily their school does drama as a required subject. He has the ability, but not the like, or the confidence. That will happen next term. I've talked to his teacher and have asked that he not get away with being props handler, or prompter, which is what he did last year and suckered his teacher in to letting him not do anything at all. Smart kid :P

Summer job might be the answer. This summer they will be officially old enough to work. My other son already has does a paper run. Okay I help him and do about half of it - transporting 350 papers needs a car - but he delivers his share over a 2 hour period. Every Tuesday, rain or shine. And he's the one who has to spend more time doing homework.

I had thought that one son having money to spend would have prompted the other to think about working, but so far no. Maybe when the Pokemon DS games come out here soon and one can buy and the other can't :P

The boys already have a job offered to them, An uncle runs a gardenning/landscaping business and has said this coming christmas period they can work. It will be painful for me - he lives about 30 mins the other side of town, but I'll work it out. This uncle loves/adores the boys, but won't take any shit or slackness from them. And he'll pay them a fair pay.

I sure hope it works.

Come to think of it - that first officialy job did heaps for me too.