Can I Have Your Number?
I don't even.
What?
This is...
I can't.
Warning for some language and slight sexual themes. Maybe PG.
It's inspired by this Mad TV sketch.
And is dedicated to cutloosemcgoose I think you're the only one who's going to even find this remotely funny. If you do at all, that is. haha
Maybe I'll post it on the Dean/Cas community... bahahahahah
Okay it's 3:30 am.Don't judge. :p
Castiel was sitting, waiting for his brother Gabe, in the movie theater. The lights were dimmed but not so much that Gabe wouldn’t be able to find his way back. The screen was running a movie trivia game on the screen. Cas didn’t recognize any of the films displayed, but he watched the questions and answers slide past and waited for Gabe.
“Damn,” Cas heard a man mumble somewhere behind him. Perhaps he had dropped his Milk Duds. Cas thought nothing of it.
“Damn,” said the voice again. Now there was more inflection in the man’s tone and Cas couldn’t help but look discreetly over his shoulder.
There was a man sitting a few rows behind Cas, staring directly at him. His eyes were wide and unblinking and he was nodding as if responding to a question. Cas was confused so he turned back around and saw the answer to a question vanish from the screen only to be replaced by an advertisement for Pepsi products.
“Oh, damn. Okay,” the man said. Cas wondered if the man was insane and thought he was talking to a nonexistent person.
“Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?” the man asked.
He could not have been talking to Cas. No way.
“EXCUSE ME, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?” the man asked louder.
Cas sighed and turned around. “What?” he asked the man tentatively.
“Uh, yeah. My name’s Dean. It’s spelled like ‘bean’ but with a ‘D,’” the man said. “I just wanted to let you know that the back of your head is ridiculous.” His arms were outstretched as if to invite Cas into them.
Cas recoiled. “Uh, thanks,” he said and quickly turned back around in his seat. The screen displayed a reminder to turn off all cell phones.
“Yeah, you are welcome,” Dean said.
Cas was seriously just about to recover from his conversation with Dean when suddenly a body was plopping down in the seat next to him. Cas hoped to Heaven that it was Gabe, but it wasn’t.
“Where’s your date?” Dean asked.
“Oh my,” Cas said and tried to edge away from Dean but the arm rest was in the way
“Your date?” Dean asked.
“Who, Gabe? He’s-” Cas tried to explain that Gabe was his brother.
“Is he getting you refreshments? Is he tall? Is he gettin’ you Mike’n’Ikes? You like Mike’n’Ikes? Is he hefty? Is he comin’ back?” Dean asked question after question. Now he looked warily around him. “Where’s your boyfriend at?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Cas decided to answer that question first. There were many to choose from.
Dean’s expression went from wary to joy. “Oh, you don’t?! You don’t have a boyfriend! Oh, okay.”
Cas tried to pay attention to the new images on the screen but Dean kept pushing his knee closer to Cas’s. Cas was squished as far as he could go into the other side of his chair.
“So, listen, uhm, I was wonderin’ can I have your number?” Dean asked fervently.
Cas’s stomach dropped. He smiled politely and turned to Dean.
“Can I have your number?” Dean repeated.
“No, I don’t give out my number in theaters,” Cas said with an expression of feigned sorrow. “We’re about to watch a movie.”
“Oh okay, that’s cool. You’re all into pondering the cinema, that’s cool. Yeah, me too! I respect that,” Dean said, masking the rejection with a smile. He stood up from the seat next to Cas. “You do your thing.”
A sense of relief ran through Cas as Dean walked away. But then before Cas could even look back up at the screen, Dean was back. Now he was on the other side of Cas. Cas’s heart leapt at the shock of turning and seeing Dean there.
“What’s you’re name, angel face?” Dean asked, right in Cas’s face.
Cas pushed away from Dean again.
“Um, Castiel,” Cas replied somewhat hesitantly. The last thing he needed was a stalker.
“Oh, Castiel?” Dean said looking impressed. “Awh damn, hold up! That’s a heavenly ass name, Castiel! Yeah, my little angel food cake! With some cherries on my angel food cake!”
Castiel scrubbed at the back of his neck nervously. Where was Gabe? This was getting out of hand. Dean was seriously weirding Cas out.
Dean began to moan and lick his lips while looking at Cas. Cas didn’t know what to do so he simply stared at the screen hoping Dean would go away.
“So, listen; can I have your number?” Dean asked again.
“No, look, this is my day off and I just want to watch this movie. With my brother. Sorry,” Cas said.
“Oh, okay okay. I get it. I respect that,” Dean said and got up again.
Relief filled Cas again. He took a breath. Then Dean was right behind Cas. His head right next to Cas’s. Cas jumped forwards away from Dean.
“So I can’t have it?” Dean asked.
“No, I just don’t give it out,” Cas said a bit more forcefully.
“Ohhh okay. I get it. You’re being all selective because you got a trench coat,” Dean said.
Cas looked down at his clothes. What did his clothes have to do with anything?
“Right? Right?” Dean asked.
“No,” Cas said and shook his head.
“Because you think a lot of men can’t handle the mysteriousness of a trench coat,” Dean said with a nod. “You’re all like Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes.”
“No, I’m not being anything because I’m wearing a trench coat,” Cas said. He gestured his hands to tell Dean to go way.
“Oh, Cassy, Cassy, Cassy, Cassy,” Dean said and climbed over the back of the chair to sit next to Cas. “Don’t be insecure, baby. Own that trench coat. Work that formal wear.”
Dean nodded carefully. This man was clearly deranged. “Okay, I will.”
“Awh, damn! You’re kinda sexy when you take my advice, angel face!” Dean said looking at Cas like he was something to eat. Cas shifted away from Dean. “I like that, yeah.”
Cas couldn’t handle it anymore. He got up and slid to the next seat.
“So, yeah, uhm. So listen; can I have your number?” Dean asked and jumped to the seat next to Cas where Cas had just been sitting.
Cas shook his head and got up to move seats again. “Can I have it? Can I have it?” Dean was repeated all the while Cas was repeating “No, no” and moving seats.
“Can I please receive the secret code telephonically that would patch me through to you and that means it would be your beautiful ass’s number?” Dean asked.
“No,” Cas said again.
“Can I have it?” Dean repeated over and over, clearly distressed.
There were people around and Cas was pained to know why they weren’t saying anything. They were pretending like it wasn’t happening right in front of them. Cas was troubled by this.
“No, the previews are about to start and I just- I want to ponder them alone so…. But thanks, anyway,” Cas said and looked to the screen.
“Oh okay, okay. I get it. You want to go through all the intricacies of cinema. You keep doing your thing my Castiel Holmes. My little angel food cake!” Dean stood up and backed out of the aisle, still talking. “Alright, bye. I’m going to miss you, though. I’ll miss you! Alright, you enjoy your day, angel face! Take care! I love you.”
Dean went back to his seat and Castiel slouched in his own chair. Thankfully, the next person to sit down in the empty seat next to him was Gabe.
What?
This is...
I can't.
Warning for some language and slight sexual themes. Maybe PG.
It's inspired by this Mad TV sketch.
And is dedicated to cutloosemcgoose I think you're the only one who's going to even find this remotely funny. If you do at all, that is. haha
Maybe I'll post it on the Dean/Cas community... bahahahahah
Okay it's 3:30 am.Don't judge. :p
Castiel was sitting, waiting for his brother Gabe, in the movie theater. The lights were dimmed but not so much that Gabe wouldn’t be able to find his way back. The screen was running a movie trivia game on the screen. Cas didn’t recognize any of the films displayed, but he watched the questions and answers slide past and waited for Gabe.
“Damn,” Cas heard a man mumble somewhere behind him. Perhaps he had dropped his Milk Duds. Cas thought nothing of it.
“Damn,” said the voice again. Now there was more inflection in the man’s tone and Cas couldn’t help but look discreetly over his shoulder.
There was a man sitting a few rows behind Cas, staring directly at him. His eyes were wide and unblinking and he was nodding as if responding to a question. Cas was confused so he turned back around and saw the answer to a question vanish from the screen only to be replaced by an advertisement for Pepsi products.
“Oh, damn. Okay,” the man said. Cas wondered if the man was insane and thought he was talking to a nonexistent person.
“Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?” the man asked.
He could not have been talking to Cas. No way.
“EXCUSE ME, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?” the man asked louder.
Cas sighed and turned around. “What?” he asked the man tentatively.
“Uh, yeah. My name’s Dean. It’s spelled like ‘bean’ but with a ‘D,’” the man said. “I just wanted to let you know that the back of your head is ridiculous.” His arms were outstretched as if to invite Cas into them.
Cas recoiled. “Uh, thanks,” he said and quickly turned back around in his seat. The screen displayed a reminder to turn off all cell phones.
“Yeah, you are welcome,” Dean said.
Cas was seriously just about to recover from his conversation with Dean when suddenly a body was plopping down in the seat next to him. Cas hoped to Heaven that it was Gabe, but it wasn’t.
“Where’s your date?” Dean asked.
“Oh my,” Cas said and tried to edge away from Dean but the arm rest was in the way
“Your date?” Dean asked.
“Who, Gabe? He’s-” Cas tried to explain that Gabe was his brother.
“Is he getting you refreshments? Is he tall? Is he gettin’ you Mike’n’Ikes? You like Mike’n’Ikes? Is he hefty? Is he comin’ back?” Dean asked question after question. Now he looked warily around him. “Where’s your boyfriend at?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Cas decided to answer that question first. There were many to choose from.
Dean’s expression went from wary to joy. “Oh, you don’t?! You don’t have a boyfriend! Oh, okay.”
Cas tried to pay attention to the new images on the screen but Dean kept pushing his knee closer to Cas’s. Cas was squished as far as he could go into the other side of his chair.
“So, listen, uhm, I was wonderin’ can I have your number?” Dean asked fervently.
Cas’s stomach dropped. He smiled politely and turned to Dean.
“Can I have your number?” Dean repeated.
“No, I don’t give out my number in theaters,” Cas said with an expression of feigned sorrow. “We’re about to watch a movie.”
“Oh okay, that’s cool. You’re all into pondering the cinema, that’s cool. Yeah, me too! I respect that,” Dean said, masking the rejection with a smile. He stood up from the seat next to Cas. “You do your thing.”
A sense of relief ran through Cas as Dean walked away. But then before Cas could even look back up at the screen, Dean was back. Now he was on the other side of Cas. Cas’s heart leapt at the shock of turning and seeing Dean there.
“What’s you’re name, angel face?” Dean asked, right in Cas’s face.
Cas pushed away from Dean again.
“Um, Castiel,” Cas replied somewhat hesitantly. The last thing he needed was a stalker.
“Oh, Castiel?” Dean said looking impressed. “Awh damn, hold up! That’s a heavenly ass name, Castiel! Yeah, my little angel food cake! With some cherries on my angel food cake!”
Castiel scrubbed at the back of his neck nervously. Where was Gabe? This was getting out of hand. Dean was seriously weirding Cas out.
Dean began to moan and lick his lips while looking at Cas. Cas didn’t know what to do so he simply stared at the screen hoping Dean would go away.
“So, listen; can I have your number?” Dean asked again.
“No, look, this is my day off and I just want to watch this movie. With my brother. Sorry,” Cas said.
“Oh, okay okay. I get it. I respect that,” Dean said and got up again.
Relief filled Cas again. He took a breath. Then Dean was right behind Cas. His head right next to Cas’s. Cas jumped forwards away from Dean.
“So I can’t have it?” Dean asked.
“No, I just don’t give it out,” Cas said a bit more forcefully.
“Ohhh okay. I get it. You’re being all selective because you got a trench coat,” Dean said.
Cas looked down at his clothes. What did his clothes have to do with anything?
“Right? Right?” Dean asked.
“No,” Cas said and shook his head.
“Because you think a lot of men can’t handle the mysteriousness of a trench coat,” Dean said with a nod. “You’re all like Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes.”
“No, I’m not being anything because I’m wearing a trench coat,” Cas said. He gestured his hands to tell Dean to go way.
“Oh, Cassy, Cassy, Cassy, Cassy,” Dean said and climbed over the back of the chair to sit next to Cas. “Don’t be insecure, baby. Own that trench coat. Work that formal wear.”
Dean nodded carefully. This man was clearly deranged. “Okay, I will.”
“Awh, damn! You’re kinda sexy when you take my advice, angel face!” Dean said looking at Cas like he was something to eat. Cas shifted away from Dean. “I like that, yeah.”
Cas couldn’t handle it anymore. He got up and slid to the next seat.
“So, yeah, uhm. So listen; can I have your number?” Dean asked and jumped to the seat next to Cas where Cas had just been sitting.
Cas shook his head and got up to move seats again. “Can I have it? Can I have it?” Dean was repeated all the while Cas was repeating “No, no” and moving seats.
“Can I please receive the secret code telephonically that would patch me through to you and that means it would be your beautiful ass’s number?” Dean asked.
“No,” Cas said again.
“Can I have it?” Dean repeated over and over, clearly distressed.
There were people around and Cas was pained to know why they weren’t saying anything. They were pretending like it wasn’t happening right in front of them. Cas was troubled by this.
“No, the previews are about to start and I just- I want to ponder them alone so…. But thanks, anyway,” Cas said and looked to the screen.
“Oh okay, okay. I get it. You want to go through all the intricacies of cinema. You keep doing your thing my Castiel Holmes. My little angel food cake!” Dean stood up and backed out of the aisle, still talking. “Alright, bye. I’m going to miss you, though. I’ll miss you! Alright, you enjoy your day, angel face! Take care! I love you.”
Dean went back to his seat and Castiel slouched in his own chair. Thankfully, the next person to sit down in the empty seat next to him was Gabe.