hm.
I think I've outgrown this part of me.
I'm thinking of making a new lj.
I'm not feeling this catonastring deal.
So if anyone still remembers me...or gives a shit...let me know I guess....or um...I'll post something else with my new name.
I'm nervous.
people are growing.
I have maybe 3 friends.
I'm realizing things that I've never really wanted to admit to myself.
I'm an asshole.
I do lots of things for my friends...because I care about other peoples happiness before my own. No matter how many times I tell myself that I grew out of that. It's true.
But I'm really bad at keeping touch with people.
And then I just sit and bitch to myself about how much I wish I would've called. Or...I say, "I have to call _____________ back." And then I never do. I just hear messages, smile, and dont call back. And eventually, they stop calling. And I dont call back.
I honestly have grown to hate telephones because of this.
I dont like calling people.
I dont like checking messages because, I already feel bad for not calling people while I'm even listening to the messages.
AmI making sense.
Everybody, you know who you are. I'm sorry.
And you know I love you. I do. We have to find another way to communicate.
I have no money.
I've realized that I also need to learn...or re-learn how to handle money. I used to stretch $20 to last me a few weeks. Now...I have .47 in my checking account. I got too used to having $500-something to 600-something coming to me every 2 weeks. Now....I think I'm making 1/3 of that right now....My first paycheck is this friday. For working one week. So...I think my paychecks are gonna end up being like...$200-ish if that. I was already given the choice to be promoted to shift supervisor...and I've only been working for a week and a few days. So. I'm pretty happy. As a shift supervisor, I'll be working 32 hours a week at $8 an hour. Which brings me close to normal income for me...I think. So...I dont know how this theatre thing it gonna work out. How do people work, and go to class and have performances and all that.
I'm just gonna go die now.
٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*
I'm thinking of making a new lj.
I'm not feeling this catonastring deal.
So if anyone still remembers me...or gives a shit...let me know I guess....or um...I'll post something else with my new name.
I'm nervous.
people are growing.
I have maybe 3 friends.
I'm realizing things that I've never really wanted to admit to myself.
I'm an asshole.
I do lots of things for my friends...because I care about other peoples happiness before my own. No matter how many times I tell myself that I grew out of that. It's true.
But I'm really bad at keeping touch with people.
And then I just sit and bitch to myself about how much I wish I would've called. Or...I say, "I have to call _____________ back." And then I never do. I just hear messages, smile, and dont call back. And eventually, they stop calling. And I dont call back.
I honestly have grown to hate telephones because of this.
I dont like calling people.
I dont like checking messages because, I already feel bad for not calling people while I'm even listening to the messages.
AmI making sense.
Everybody, you know who you are. I'm sorry.
And you know I love you. I do. We have to find another way to communicate.
I have no money.
I've realized that I also need to learn...or re-learn how to handle money. I used to stretch $20 to last me a few weeks. Now...I have .47 in my checking account. I got too used to having $500-something to 600-something coming to me every 2 weeks. Now....I think I'm making 1/3 of that right now....My first paycheck is this friday. For working one week. So...I think my paychecks are gonna end up being like...$200-ish if that. I was already given the choice to be promoted to shift supervisor...and I've only been working for a week and a few days. So. I'm pretty happy. As a shift supervisor, I'll be working 32 hours a week at $8 an hour. Which brings me close to normal income for me...I think. So...I dont know how this theatre thing it gonna work out. How do people work, and go to class and have performances and all that.
I'm just gonna go die now.
٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*٭*