drunken post
Wine is my friend. I'm drinking a really yummy zinfandel, Rancho Zabaco or something like that. It was "half off a bottle of wine night" at a local steakhouse, and A doesn't drink wine so yeehaw!
We have an appointment with a real estate agent on Saturday to look into buying a house. AAAAAHHHHHHH! Scared to death. Even more scared to go through the credit check and financial stuff. I haven't done anything like this, and what if they tell me I'm a dreg of society? I don't want to be a dreg! I know just enough about all this to be dangerous.
I'm thinking lately about kids. You know, having children. Little droolers. Small, dependent beings. I'm trying to figure out if I want them or just think I should want them. I think I DO want them, but am scared to death about it. Number one because what if it sucks? What if I have a child and look into its eyes when it's born and....nothing? I dislike it? It's a big mistake? Or what if it's a sociopath and I find it torturing squirrels in the backyard (assuming we can even afford a backyard)? I read a quote once that captures how having children feels for me: "having children is agreeing to have your heart run around outside your body." That's so damn true! What if I have one and love it to distraction and then something happens to it?!
I'm not very good about posting really personal things, but my relationship with A is going quite well (though I've learned not to take that for granted), I hate my crutches with the passion of one thousand nymphomaniacs (please send healing vibes toward my bone - the right shin bone specifically), my Mom needs back surgery and my Dad is trying to stop drinking.
Also, A wouldn't let me put "Roadhouse 2: this time it's personal" on our Netflix queue. I don't even KNOW him.
We have an appointment with a real estate agent on Saturday to look into buying a house. AAAAAHHHHHHH! Scared to death. Even more scared to go through the credit check and financial stuff. I haven't done anything like this, and what if they tell me I'm a dreg of society? I don't want to be a dreg! I know just enough about all this to be dangerous.
I'm thinking lately about kids. You know, having children. Little droolers. Small, dependent beings. I'm trying to figure out if I want them or just think I should want them. I think I DO want them, but am scared to death about it. Number one because what if it sucks? What if I have a child and look into its eyes when it's born and....nothing? I dislike it? It's a big mistake? Or what if it's a sociopath and I find it torturing squirrels in the backyard (assuming we can even afford a backyard)? I read a quote once that captures how having children feels for me: "having children is agreeing to have your heart run around outside your body." That's so damn true! What if I have one and love it to distraction and then something happens to it?!
I'm not very good about posting really personal things, but my relationship with A is going quite well (though I've learned not to take that for granted), I hate my crutches with the passion of one thousand nymphomaniacs (please send healing vibes toward my bone - the right shin bone specifically), my Mom needs back surgery and my Dad is trying to stop drinking.
Also, A wouldn't let me put "Roadhouse 2: this time it's personal" on our Netflix queue. I don't even KNOW him.