I'm so sorry for your loss. That's really rough. I know that.....grief is hard and painful and frustrating. I have lost someone who was dear to me as well. I feel for you. I know you'll spend time every day thinking about him and what you could've done and what went wrong, and how things could be better. But we can't control other people and their destinies. We can only try to influence them in the best ways possible, but we may never be able to actually change people. That is more in their hands. I know you must feel pressure to only say good and amazing things about this person, but it can be very healing to mention their faults as well. Nobody's perfect. I know what you mean by it coming in waves. I've experienced that myself. I'm not sure if this has happened to you, but in my imagination I still write to and talk to the person that I lost, still imagining that they're here around me instead of gone because that's the only way I can deal with it. Don't feel bad if you have to take a break from school or something. Grief may often be the worst thing you will ever go through. It's one of the most permanent things that can happen to you. That's why it's so scary. Please message me if you need support. I know it's hard.
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