in my heart, in my soul, it's something that I can't let go;
Before school starts again and flies past till the end of PW, I'm just here to post about my first CTs experience.
Above the hectic studying, the numbing panic that wells up sometimes in the face of the sheer number of topics left to read, the disintegration of grand plans to study 30h for each subject at the start of the hols, the one thing that will stay with me even as the school term starts is that God is faithful, and spending time with Him actually makes the rest of the day more productive than it would have been.
What helped me to study: the library!! RJ library is amazing, the expanse of glass and natural light and empty tables at your disposal is really conducive for studying. The company, most of the time I studied with Andrew and Sinyee, they are Great Study Buddies :) also had the opportunity to catch up with Caleb and.. Caleb HAHA it was half planned and half unplanned but an extended lunch was v enjoyable and I found out the two of them were Christians, that I never knew. Strangely. The hazy situation also forced me to study at home, and I found out that a quiet house and the dining table is pretty sufficient also, interspersed with planned chapters of a book to reward myself.
What really really distracts me: MINION RUSH. This despicable game haha trying to beat highscores is really hard sigh. I need to give up soon. The way I can never walk out of the library empty-handed: I hit on the real reason for this phenomenon, which is that you can walk out the library 满载而归 without having to spend a single cent. Which suits me just fine hehe, especially since I love to read and can not satisfy that at a book store. The prospect of sitting down to a good drama or movie, working with my hands to create a gift at the same time. I haven't finished the armwarmers ): had to find a new pattern and realised I lacked the necessary needles, so I still have to work on that during term time.
But all the studying actually made me feel like the holidays were more well-spent and luxuries of slacking more well-earned, since I'm not one to pass up on any opportunity to relax (like watching a movie with Daddy!), studying made these relaxations feel more rewarding. Also, I would actually have gotten bored with my monotonous life of slacking if I'd had the whole holidays to do it, so I'm glad CTs forced me to do something and understand everything that I fell asleep in previously.
The actual CTs were daunting, to say the least. Do NOT underestimate the difficulty and rigour of CTs (or any JC exam for that matter), teachers can be pretty ruthless and unfeeling if they feel like it. Math was expectedly difficult, considering my dismal ability I would be really glad to pass that. But for the rest I think failure would still be a blow because I believe I have reasonable ability in those subjects, and I did put in due diligence studying/practicing with the past-year papers. It wouldn't be unusual to fail though, so there's a dim ray of social acceptability there (heh).
But, I am still extremely thankful and grateful for this period of a month. So much happened, so much was different, but I feel ready to start a new term on a different note, one where I'm more in tune with what God wants, and more ready to have Kingdom character as I settle into the rhythm of JC life, with the colour of chorale and fresh, new topics. Continuing my 40-day lunch/7-7 fast, I really think that the physical hunger serves as a reminder of the spiritual hunger that I shouldn't ignore. Even the prospect of PW is starting to look better because my topic is meaningful, and conquering my fear of phone calls and talking to strangers is something I'd have to face sooner rather than later. I now feel more willing to put in extra work and sweat for the PW project, as much as it's rather a pain to work on.
Above the hectic studying, the numbing panic that wells up sometimes in the face of the sheer number of topics left to read, the disintegration of grand plans to study 30h for each subject at the start of the hols, the one thing that will stay with me even as the school term starts is that God is faithful, and spending time with Him actually makes the rest of the day more productive than it would have been.
What helped me to study: the library!! RJ library is amazing, the expanse of glass and natural light and empty tables at your disposal is really conducive for studying. The company, most of the time I studied with Andrew and Sinyee, they are Great Study Buddies :) also had the opportunity to catch up with Caleb and.. Caleb HAHA it was half planned and half unplanned but an extended lunch was v enjoyable and I found out the two of them were Christians, that I never knew. Strangely. The hazy situation also forced me to study at home, and I found out that a quiet house and the dining table is pretty sufficient also, interspersed with planned chapters of a book to reward myself.
What really really distracts me: MINION RUSH. This despicable game haha trying to beat highscores is really hard sigh. I need to give up soon. The way I can never walk out of the library empty-handed: I hit on the real reason for this phenomenon, which is that you can walk out the library 满载而归 without having to spend a single cent. Which suits me just fine hehe, especially since I love to read and can not satisfy that at a book store. The prospect of sitting down to a good drama or movie, working with my hands to create a gift at the same time. I haven't finished the armwarmers ): had to find a new pattern and realised I lacked the necessary needles, so I still have to work on that during term time.
But all the studying actually made me feel like the holidays were more well-spent and luxuries of slacking more well-earned, since I'm not one to pass up on any opportunity to relax (like watching a movie with Daddy!), studying made these relaxations feel more rewarding. Also, I would actually have gotten bored with my monotonous life of slacking if I'd had the whole holidays to do it, so I'm glad CTs forced me to do something and understand everything that I fell asleep in previously.
The actual CTs were daunting, to say the least. Do NOT underestimate the difficulty and rigour of CTs (or any JC exam for that matter), teachers can be pretty ruthless and unfeeling if they feel like it. Math was expectedly difficult, considering my dismal ability I would be really glad to pass that. But for the rest I think failure would still be a blow because I believe I have reasonable ability in those subjects, and I did put in due diligence studying/practicing with the past-year papers. It wouldn't be unusual to fail though, so there's a dim ray of social acceptability there (heh).
But, I am still extremely thankful and grateful for this period of a month. So much happened, so much was different, but I feel ready to start a new term on a different note, one where I'm more in tune with what God wants, and more ready to have Kingdom character as I settle into the rhythm of JC life, with the colour of chorale and fresh, new topics. Continuing my 40-day lunch/7-7 fast, I really think that the physical hunger serves as a reminder of the spiritual hunger that I shouldn't ignore. Even the prospect of PW is starting to look better because my topic is meaningful, and conquering my fear of phone calls and talking to strangers is something I'd have to face sooner rather than later. I now feel more willing to put in extra work and sweat for the PW project, as much as it's rather a pain to work on.