How I'm doing...
For those who don't already know, David has had a series of benign tumors on the right side of his face. The last one was removed about 19 months ago. It took almost 6 months for him to regain full nerve function again after the last surgery, and when the swelling came down around the incision site, there was another lump. This one is about 3 cm and wraps around the bone slightly. The ENT doctor who had the MRI done told us on the 8th that he didn't think he could do the surgery without permanent damage to the facial nerves and referred his case to a Dr. Kaplan. Dr. Kaplan is the chair of the head and neck oncology department at Stanford Medical Center. Yeah, this guy is the premier expert on the west coast. OK, so on the side of logical, rational brain, this is a non-life threatening condition, with a worst likely outcome a minor disability that won't impact most day to day function. David knows he could live with facial paralysis, he's done it before, and this doctor is the ultimate super-uber-specialist who has the best chance at making it all better. However emotional, irrational brain heard the words "Stanford" and "oncology" and is reduced to a gibbering mess. Consult set for Monday the 18th, so therefore is hanging over our heads all week.
Kaia responded nicely to the soak in the healing waters up at Harbin. The black eye is almost completely gone. She, however, is non-cooperative with regards to our plan to enlist a babysitter for our anniversary, and thus, she came with us for Indian and ice-cream, then obligingly crashed out and let us spend some time alone.
We've been married 8 years, and I'm more in love than we were when we got married. We've had a couple of rough spots, but all in all things are really great.
We went to see Pirates: AWE. I can't say I was too thrilled with the way it ended, but I'm reserving judgement until I see it again. Then we had pizza and boffer wars with my favorite almost 7 year-old and his family, who had obligingly watched Kaia while we went to the movie and got lunch.
We went to the Folsom Zoo, rode the train, saw wolves, bears, cougars, raccoons, owls, ravens, eagles, hawks, and other mostly native mostly rehabilitated animals. Folsom Zoo is a very nifty place. It was VERY hot though. After the zoo, we went to a local park with an interactive water feature that Kaia, David and I played in, while my friend Juli watched. Then dinner at the Sunflower drive in, eaten in a nearby park, where we were entertained by feral chickens trying to steal the food out of our hands, and drunk teenagers trying to chase said chickens.
Saturday night, we made organic strawberry jam and packed for our trip to Santa Cruz and Palo Alto. Unfortunately, as we are getting ready to hit the sack at about 2:30 (with the alarm set for 7), 3 cars started tearing through the neighborhood blasting music and honking their horns. For about 35 minutes. Then Kaia wakes up with more ER/ CT scan nightmares. I get about 2 hours of sleep. We leave for Santa Cruz.
David gets to test drive the electric scooter that we are getting him for his commute. Love at first ride. Score. We head over to my cousin Tanya's house to meet Jonathan, and then head out to the health food store to grab some picnic supplies before heading to the beach. We wander in to the store. David lags behind, reading a sign. Kaia doubles back to get him just as he trips the sensor for the automatic doors. They open, and catch on Kaia's toe, ripping off the toenail and leaving an impressive gash. And the toddler is consumed by screams and convulsive sobs. So much for the picnic on the beach. About 30 minutes later, Tanya gets her to calm down, her being a calming force who is great at communicating with little kids, and we walk back to her place. Kaia's toes looks really bad, but I think she is more scared about going to the doctor than she is hurt. We give her tylenol and T and J take turns reading to her for the next 4 hours. Then we head back over the hill and check into our motel in Palo Alto. Kaia's sleep is fitful and restless all night, maybe pain, maybe nightmares.
David's doctor's appointment at SMC took almost 4 hours, during which time I am a gibbering wreck. Finally he calls. Dr. Kaplan is great, thinks the sugery will be very straightforward and that the facial nerves are not a problem. Breathe a sigh of relief. We have a late lunch at Picante in the East Bay before heading home. Kaia is fussy and exhausted when we get home, my temper and nerves are frayed, and David goes back to work tomorrow. Oh Joy.
So, yeah. I'm relieved, but also at the end of my rope copingstrategywise. David's surgery will likely be in August. My mom is coming up, and several friends are offering to help out. So it will be ok. I'm trying to breathe, but I'm exhausted and at my wit's end.