Thought journal...
I've been logging my thoughts, as Hemet (AUS) suggested we do as part of our heka homework (Wednesday's Saq Nisut). A peek inside my mind may or not be of interest to you. I never realized how many trivial thoughts I have. I also didn't realize how much time I spend planning and replanning my day. My journal looks mostly like one long to do list, with a couple of other things thrown in as an after thought.
For example:
7:30 am: *groan* *stretch* bathroom, computer, have to say 'thank you', clothes, cats, breakfast. No wonder I have anxiety, I plan everything (all this before I opened my eyes)
8:15 am: too many projects, need to start thoughts journal
9:16 am: need to do prayer book edit
9:37 am: rain sucks, need a nap, this is like facebook, only on paper, need to facebook, need to LJ crisis book, need to do dishes, need to live in the moment and lose anxiety
10:53 am: need garden blog
12:35 pm: need to get market stuff, need slugo, need hydrosol, need necklace, clean, laundry, research FDA stuff
12:42 pm: edit prayer boook....
About 80% of my thoughts are like this.
I did have a couple of worthy thoughts, some of which were reminders to self, others were new revelations:
1:52 pm: Do NOT post "Market was CRAP" on facebook. People are attracted to positive energy. Send positive out to get positive back. [isn't this the basic preface of heka? only on a grander scale?]
5:00 pm: Sweeping things under the rug might help in the short run, but unfinished things nag at the back of the mind, causing stress and anxiety. (I was literally getting ready to sweep some dust and stuff under the area rug :blush:)
10:22 pm: I take pride in the fact that I'm the biggest donator to temples in Nile Online, but I haven't donated to HON since I got laid off.
10:30 am: It used to be I would sometimes do bad things if I thought I could get away with them. Who doesn't? Now, though wrong ideas may pop into my head from time to time, Ma'at keeps me in check. I'm so proud of myself for the changes I've made and so grateful for Netjer and Ma'at, who shine like beacons to aim for. I strive to stay on the path of Ma'at at all times. I actively seek and destroy behaviors in myself that are against Ma'at. I look for opportunities to teach Ma'at by example. I do my best to spread Ma'at by my actions. Dua Ma''at.
I'm greatly looking forward to the continuation of Hemet's heka lecture. I want to know what to do with all this newfound self awareness!
Blessings and Senebty,
Tahai.