Picked apart by vultures and looking to start again

[catkin]

On sunday, I was sitting in a suburb of Reading, bawling my eyes out and looking so pathetic that a woman came over to me, tapped me gently on the shoulder and said "whatever it is that is making you upset, God loves you". This actually made me cry even more

Comments

[ruadh]

I think I'm less trying to reinvent myself, and more trying to salvage, direct, and clarify what's in there someplace. So, basically, I know what you mean. I've never really quite fallen on my feet yet, but I always seem to at least get a firm enough grip on stuff not to fall - I think you're pretty similar in that way. Ever feel like life is a series of almosts and not quites and never quite seems to gel like you'd want it to?

First step is getting a job someplace where I don't feel so isolated. People that know me know that, while I'm a rather social animal, I do like a lot of time to myself for introspection. But, if you remember our conversations waybackwhen, I go absolutely CRAZY if the opportunity to socialise isn't there.

Second step is, uh, well. Haven't figure that out yet! I'm looking all over. Exeter (omg they have Wagamama there now), Guildford (omg they have Wagamama too!) and Cambridge (omg no Wagamama :( :( :( that sucks) are the prime three targets.

Third step = complacent happiness. That's so indulgent and selfish, no?

[catkin]

Good to hear from you! and, yes that's it. Salvage, direct and clarify. When I've been doing the massage, it does feel really good but I've yet to see if I can get anything stable out of it..what I'm starting to realise is unless I really put everything into giving it a good shot then it's unlikely to go anywhere.

I definitely think that finding somewhere you can be happy and have friends is really important and often underated. I'm still happy I came back to Exeter and have made some good friends here, it helps to give me the strength and support to try and move on, or just to relax for a while and have a look around for oppurtunities. We don't always need the second and third steps planned out.

Good luck looking for jobs, I hope you find something decent somewhere. Obviously I'd like it to be Exeter ;) I know too many people now who are trying to find work, it's really difficult and annoying...keep at it though! The job I've got has a shelf life of another 18months and then I'll HAVE to be sorted out with something different..