Beatlefic: Eating Cookies
Ringo watches some fun eating cookies shaped like characters in Yellow Submarine. DISLCAIMER: I have no idea what happened at the Yellow Submarine premier
Eating Cookies
By the time Yellow Submarine was made, the other three pretty much had been working separately. It was sad really to see things splitting up though at the time, we considered it to be spreading our wings and doing our own things.
I don't remember the details but we were still under a contract to produce a third movie. There was no way in hell we were going to work together on one of those again. John was finished with film after How I Won the War plus he had become enamored of Yoko. They had begun working on their own far out projects together that had nothing to do with the Beatles. He didn't have any time to devote to another film nor the inclination.
Somehow it worked out that Yellow Submarine was going to be our third one. We only had to do a few new songs and they didn't even have to be good ones since we figured the film would come and go and then be merely a memory. VCRs and that industry didn't really exist yet but that's a whole other topic.
I know that none of us were that interested in it only that it seemed to satisfy the contract that we had made and we didn't have to face each other on a sound stage ever again.
Somewhere along the line we went and visited where they were making the film and were surprised and very impressed by what we saw they were creating. We posed for pictures with the crew and cardboard cutouts of ourselves and each other. We even decided to put our stamp on it by creating a short silly live action shot for the ending just to have somewhat of a bigger part in creating this since it was turning out nicer then expected.
I remember some party after the premier. We all were there with our wives and George Martin who had done the instrumental part of the music. It was supposed to be a fun night for all and afterward at some party that was thrown in everybody's honor we all were presented with a giant plate of what turned out to be cookies shaped and covered in icing resembling our four characters, the Yellow sub itself, and assorted Blue Meanies, arrows, lightning bolts, flowers and gloves with faces that appeared in the film.
The four Beatle cookies were intended for each of us. The Yellow Submarine was for George Martin but the rest were up for grabs for whomever helped work on the film and was there that evening.
Everybody was suitably impressed at the likeness on the cookies. They really were well done. No one had touched one yet but we all milled around the table where they had been laid out giving them all the once over before they would be eaten and gone.
George seemed thoughtful. “Who wants to eat a likeness of himself?” He asked out loud. “I don't think I can.”
“Then don't,” John replied and then without any warning, he grabbed the Paul cookie and held it in his hand.
I didn't get it at first when he started making monkey noises and grunts, beating his chest with his other hand and going, “Ooh ooh ooh ooh,” and then I figured it out. He was playing at being King Kong. He began to make faces and growl at all of us onlookers while saying, “The mighty giant ape has captured his prey while ravaging through London.”
Then he held up Paul's cookie and spoke in a high-pitched voice which we all guessed was to be tiny Paul's. “Oh no, please Mr Ape, kindly put me down.”
Then he was back in his ape persona arching his back and arms holding the cookie to his ear and asking, “Ooh? Put you down?” Then he sniffed the cookie twice. “Mmmm. Me no put you down. You smell yummy. Me put you inside my mouth to taste you.”
Then again in Paul's high pitched voice. “Oh no. Please. I don't want to go into your mouth. I taste terrible.”
With a roar, John shoved the head between his lips and looked at all of us wild-eyed with the cookies legs sticking out of his mouth. Several people began to laugh and why not? He was being quite funny.
The laughter must have only encouraged John because then he mumbled with that cookie still poking out of his mouth, “Mmmm. You taste yummy. Me want you inside of me.”
Somehow he managed to still do that high-pitched voice with that cookie halfway between his lips. “Oh no! Please, Mr Ape. I don't want to go inside of you. It's not very nice inside here at all and I don't think I would like to go any further.”
Once again in his gruff ape-voice. “Me want you in my stomach. You go now! Me very hungry. Mumph.” Then with one finger he pushed those funny legs inside his lips all the while mumbling in that squeaky voice, “No. Oh no. No please. I don't want to be eaten. No. Please don't.” Then as he chewed he grunted and groaned like a comical animal while everyone was in hysterics. He swallowed with a huge gulp that was the height of bad manners continuing to growl and groan while patting his middle and snarling in that ape-voice, “Mmmmm. You were delicious. Me happy now. You in my belly. Me no longer need to ravage city. Me happy with you in tummy now.” He patted himself on his middle once again while everyone applauded and kept on laughing. John let out one light burp for good measure but I'm sure he forced that one.
Not to be outdone, Paul stepped forward and slowly picked up the John cookie. The room sort of got quiet as we all watched wondering what he was up to. Paul held the cookie flat in his palm looking at it for a moment. He used one finger to trace along some of the icing before he held that cookie with the feet dangling over his own mouth.
“Oh, John,” He said in a somewhat soft sensual voice. “You look so delicious. I just can't resist having one tiny little taste. Please forgive me, old friend.” Then in a squeaky voice that was supposed to be John's, Paul mumbled, “Ha ha. What do you mean by that, Paul?”
Paul then snaked his tongue out a bit and touched it to one of those tiny feet in that cookie and crooned, “Is that a hint of lemon with that vanilla? Is that shortbread I taste?” Then as John he squeaked, “Ooh. Ooh. That tickles. You're tickling me.”
“John,” Paul whispered in a very sultry voice while still dangling that cookie over his face, “I know this is wrong. This is very wrong. But I just can't resist your sweetness.” Then he slid those feet and legs inside his mouth while squeaking for his John character, “Ooh. Ooh. That feels good. I like that. Ooh. Ooh. Keep doing that. You'll get me there. Ooh ooh.”
By this point everyone was laughing again. Some of the woman made faces like they couldn't believe what they were watching. I remember seeing George Martin chuckling and shaking his head.
“John,” Paul mumbled with John's cookie head, shoulders, torso and weird hand signal sticking out from his mouth, “I just can't help myself. I know this is really wrong of both of us, but sorry old friend.” Then he pushed the rest of that cookie down in between his lips crunching and making noises like he was moaning in pleasure but not too sexy or anything, you know what I mean? When he was finished, Paul wiped the crumbs from his face and hands and said, “I hope it was just as good for you too, John.”
“Oh it was,” John lit up and everybody laughed harder.
“Well that was fucking weird,” George interjected with a loud snarl. I couldn't resist. I gave him a wild-eyed look, grabbed his cookie likeness and bit off it's head in one snap. I stood there crunching it while not saying a word and he just watched me. When I swallowed and took a second bite, he
chuckled and shook his head.
“That's not how you eat a cookie,” He grumbled. Picking up a tea cup he took my likeness and dunked it's head in his drink. “This is how you properly eat a cookie.” Then he took a delicate bite and chewed while looking at me.
Everybody sort of laughed again but by this time they all wanted cookies and were swooping down around the table to take one of the funny shapes that were left.
I did hear George Martin's voice among the chatter saying, “No. I'll be eating that submarine properly at my kitchen table with tea, thank you.”
Later I saw Paul in the Men's room. As we stood side by side, I joked, “Seeing you with that John cookie, I felt like I was watching you two having sex or something.”
“Yeah, I thought about that,” Paul said while still facing the mirror. “I sort of stopped myself from going over the top with it. Just a bit of fun, you know? Besides, John started it.”
“He usually does,” I reminded Paul. “He usually does.”
It wasn't over yet. As we were exiting the bathroom together, John was entering. He saw both of us and licked his lips one more time with a satisfied smile. Paul responded by smacking his own lips back and then we all were off on our separate ways. The cookies were gone.
Eating Cookies
By the time Yellow Submarine was made, the other three pretty much had been working separately. It was sad really to see things splitting up though at the time, we considered it to be spreading our wings and doing our own things.
I don't remember the details but we were still under a contract to produce a third movie. There was no way in hell we were going to work together on one of those again. John was finished with film after How I Won the War plus he had become enamored of Yoko. They had begun working on their own far out projects together that had nothing to do with the Beatles. He didn't have any time to devote to another film nor the inclination.
Somehow it worked out that Yellow Submarine was going to be our third one. We only had to do a few new songs and they didn't even have to be good ones since we figured the film would come and go and then be merely a memory. VCRs and that industry didn't really exist yet but that's a whole other topic.
I know that none of us were that interested in it only that it seemed to satisfy the contract that we had made and we didn't have to face each other on a sound stage ever again.
Somewhere along the line we went and visited where they were making the film and were surprised and very impressed by what we saw they were creating. We posed for pictures with the crew and cardboard cutouts of ourselves and each other. We even decided to put our stamp on it by creating a short silly live action shot for the ending just to have somewhat of a bigger part in creating this since it was turning out nicer then expected.
I remember some party after the premier. We all were there with our wives and George Martin who had done the instrumental part of the music. It was supposed to be a fun night for all and afterward at some party that was thrown in everybody's honor we all were presented with a giant plate of what turned out to be cookies shaped and covered in icing resembling our four characters, the Yellow sub itself, and assorted Blue Meanies, arrows, lightning bolts, flowers and gloves with faces that appeared in the film.
The four Beatle cookies were intended for each of us. The Yellow Submarine was for George Martin but the rest were up for grabs for whomever helped work on the film and was there that evening.
Everybody was suitably impressed at the likeness on the cookies. They really were well done. No one had touched one yet but we all milled around the table where they had been laid out giving them all the once over before they would be eaten and gone.
George seemed thoughtful. “Who wants to eat a likeness of himself?” He asked out loud. “I don't think I can.”
“Then don't,” John replied and then without any warning, he grabbed the Paul cookie and held it in his hand.
I didn't get it at first when he started making monkey noises and grunts, beating his chest with his other hand and going, “Ooh ooh ooh ooh,” and then I figured it out. He was playing at being King Kong. He began to make faces and growl at all of us onlookers while saying, “The mighty giant ape has captured his prey while ravaging through London.”
Then he held up Paul's cookie and spoke in a high-pitched voice which we all guessed was to be tiny Paul's. “Oh no, please Mr Ape, kindly put me down.”
Then he was back in his ape persona arching his back and arms holding the cookie to his ear and asking, “Ooh? Put you down?” Then he sniffed the cookie twice. “Mmmm. Me no put you down. You smell yummy. Me put you inside my mouth to taste you.”
Then again in Paul's high pitched voice. “Oh no. Please. I don't want to go into your mouth. I taste terrible.”
With a roar, John shoved the head between his lips and looked at all of us wild-eyed with the cookies legs sticking out of his mouth. Several people began to laugh and why not? He was being quite funny.
The laughter must have only encouraged John because then he mumbled with that cookie still poking out of his mouth, “Mmmm. You taste yummy. Me want you inside of me.”
Somehow he managed to still do that high-pitched voice with that cookie halfway between his lips. “Oh no! Please, Mr Ape. I don't want to go inside of you. It's not very nice inside here at all and I don't think I would like to go any further.”
Once again in his gruff ape-voice. “Me want you in my stomach. You go now! Me very hungry. Mumph.” Then with one finger he pushed those funny legs inside his lips all the while mumbling in that squeaky voice, “No. Oh no. No please. I don't want to be eaten. No. Please don't.” Then as he chewed he grunted and groaned like a comical animal while everyone was in hysterics. He swallowed with a huge gulp that was the height of bad manners continuing to growl and groan while patting his middle and snarling in that ape-voice, “Mmmmm. You were delicious. Me happy now. You in my belly. Me no longer need to ravage city. Me happy with you in tummy now.” He patted himself on his middle once again while everyone applauded and kept on laughing. John let out one light burp for good measure but I'm sure he forced that one.
Not to be outdone, Paul stepped forward and slowly picked up the John cookie. The room sort of got quiet as we all watched wondering what he was up to. Paul held the cookie flat in his palm looking at it for a moment. He used one finger to trace along some of the icing before he held that cookie with the feet dangling over his own mouth.
“Oh, John,” He said in a somewhat soft sensual voice. “You look so delicious. I just can't resist having one tiny little taste. Please forgive me, old friend.” Then in a squeaky voice that was supposed to be John's, Paul mumbled, “Ha ha. What do you mean by that, Paul?”
Paul then snaked his tongue out a bit and touched it to one of those tiny feet in that cookie and crooned, “Is that a hint of lemon with that vanilla? Is that shortbread I taste?” Then as John he squeaked, “Ooh. Ooh. That tickles. You're tickling me.”
“John,” Paul whispered in a very sultry voice while still dangling that cookie over his face, “I know this is wrong. This is very wrong. But I just can't resist your sweetness.” Then he slid those feet and legs inside his mouth while squeaking for his John character, “Ooh. Ooh. That feels good. I like that. Ooh. Ooh. Keep doing that. You'll get me there. Ooh ooh.”
By this point everyone was laughing again. Some of the woman made faces like they couldn't believe what they were watching. I remember seeing George Martin chuckling and shaking his head.
“John,” Paul mumbled with John's cookie head, shoulders, torso and weird hand signal sticking out from his mouth, “I just can't help myself. I know this is really wrong of both of us, but sorry old friend.” Then he pushed the rest of that cookie down in between his lips crunching and making noises like he was moaning in pleasure but not too sexy or anything, you know what I mean? When he was finished, Paul wiped the crumbs from his face and hands and said, “I hope it was just as good for you too, John.”
“Oh it was,” John lit up and everybody laughed harder.
“Well that was fucking weird,” George interjected with a loud snarl. I couldn't resist. I gave him a wild-eyed look, grabbed his cookie likeness and bit off it's head in one snap. I stood there crunching it while not saying a word and he just watched me. When I swallowed and took a second bite, he
chuckled and shook his head.
“That's not how you eat a cookie,” He grumbled. Picking up a tea cup he took my likeness and dunked it's head in his drink. “This is how you properly eat a cookie.” Then he took a delicate bite and chewed while looking at me.
Everybody sort of laughed again but by this time they all wanted cookies and were swooping down around the table to take one of the funny shapes that were left.
I did hear George Martin's voice among the chatter saying, “No. I'll be eating that submarine properly at my kitchen table with tea, thank you.”
Later I saw Paul in the Men's room. As we stood side by side, I joked, “Seeing you with that John cookie, I felt like I was watching you two having sex or something.”
“Yeah, I thought about that,” Paul said while still facing the mirror. “I sort of stopped myself from going over the top with it. Just a bit of fun, you know? Besides, John started it.”
“He usually does,” I reminded Paul. “He usually does.”
It wasn't over yet. As we were exiting the bathroom together, John was entering. He saw both of us and licked his lips one more time with a satisfied smile. Paul responded by smacking his own lips back and then we all were off on our separate ways. The cookies were gone.