(no subject)
For a long time now, I have been so concerned with knowing all of the answers. I am realizing that I am so scared of change that I end up ruining the present by constantly worrying about the future. I have always been somewhat mature for my age which in some ways can be a blessing but also a big burden at times. I always push myself to think beyond what I really need to be thinking about. I want to grow up so much quicker than I need to and I'm learning to just enjoy where I am in my life right now. I can't control the future. I can only focus on the present, put all of my energy into making it positive, and hope that the future will unfold in a way that will make me happy. This is not an easy revelation for me to have, and now that I have realized it, it still takes a conscious effort on my part to follow through. I tend to think if I want something, there is always some type of action or something I could do that will make that happen. Which can be good. But it can also stifle me. I'm learning, slowly but surely. And I know this is only the beginning.