I Was a Media Critic
But my fame became a prison. So I left L.A., changed my name and moved to the hills of Vermont, where I wear only hand-knit sweaters, like Samantha Morton in "Minority Report."
No, this Tom-Katie thing is fake. Fake! Fake! Fake!
Also, I would like to ban all Nextel walkie-talkie phones from the face (and all other parts) of the planet. After that, I will ban all the Novartis "Novartis and Mary Jane drove her cancer into remission in just . . . " ads.
And also the ad in Us Magazine that says, "The SEXUAL REVOLUTION has finally reached the feminine care aisle. Introducing Elexa, a premium line of intimacy products and condoms from Trojan. Elexa is designed from a woman's perspective. And thoughtfully available in the feminine care aisle.* Intimacy Gel . . . Freshening Cloths . . . Ultra Sensitive Condoms . . . Stimulating Condoms . . . Natural Feel Condoms . . . Vibrating Ring. *Elexa Vibrating Ring not for sale in AL, GA, TX, MS, LA, KS, CO or VA."