Back to life, back to reality...
Well, I start back in work on Monday - half days for two weeks then 3pm finish for one week then 4pm finish for one week. It has been a very emotional time for me as this coincides with one year since my official diagnosis. I remember being told that I had "as expected" a malignant tumour in my oesophagus but that they were going to do chemo and radiation and surgery (in the end I just had chemo and surgery).
Chemo - well, that is not as bad as it is made out to be. Sure, you get sick (you may loose your hair depending on the chemo) and you feel fizzy as anything (as well as very tired) but it makes you feel better afterwards.
Surgery - that was tough. Getting kidney failure and pneumonia was not fun. I pity all those on dialysis, it is not easy. Also pneumonia, having your lungs cleared has to be one of the most painful and hard things that can be done, and I was having that done every hour at one stage. Also not being able to have painkillers when I was in agony. I wanted to die and had it not been for Shane crying begging me to stay I would not be still here, I owe my life to him.
Having my oesophagus removed still has repercussions, I can not eat a full meal. I have to plan drinks (as they fill up your stomach too).
But at least I am still here. If I could just get my stomach back and be less tired! Also, I still want to have children and not knowing if I can have them is a killer.
I wonder what it will be like being back in work, being normal, whatever that is. I find out on Monday!
Chemo - well, that is not as bad as it is made out to be. Sure, you get sick (you may loose your hair depending on the chemo) and you feel fizzy as anything (as well as very tired) but it makes you feel better afterwards.
Surgery - that was tough. Getting kidney failure and pneumonia was not fun. I pity all those on dialysis, it is not easy. Also pneumonia, having your lungs cleared has to be one of the most painful and hard things that can be done, and I was having that done every hour at one stage. Also not being able to have painkillers when I was in agony. I wanted to die and had it not been for Shane crying begging me to stay I would not be still here, I owe my life to him.
Having my oesophagus removed still has repercussions, I can not eat a full meal. I have to plan drinks (as they fill up your stomach too).
But at least I am still here. If I could just get my stomach back and be less tired! Also, I still want to have children and not knowing if I can have them is a killer.
I wonder what it will be like being back in work, being normal, whatever that is. I find out on Monday!