and I am left to wonder once more
So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.. I am not sure why... Life can be a little sad sometimes... I think that part of the reason why I fall away is because I live for myslef, instead of God.. I am selfish, I am weak and I need Him more than anything...
I love people very much, my family and friends are extremely important to me, and I have no idea what I would do if anything bad happened to any of them... but really, my heart was made for one... I think this goes for my romantic life too, it seems like I can not be liked by anyone, I think that might be because I am custom made for one, so untill I meet him, no one will really like me, or be interested in me..
I have been thinking about how easy it is to be mean to those I love the most. I think the brunt of this maltreatment falls on God, and that makes my heart sad... intimacy should be loving, not a safe release of anger or frustration. If you really love someone you want to be good to them, you aren't selfish about it... you are actually selfless...
I wish I was more powerful, more full of passion, I want the people around me to be drawn closer to the Lord, I want them to see this all consuming fire come out in everything that I do... I want so much to be more for the one that I love...
It saddens me that even now when I am trying to talk about how much I need God, and how amazing He is that I use the word "I" about a million times... It is sad how this world stifles me, I shouldn't be stifleable!!! I want to give everything to Him, I am sick of being self serving, it get's me no where... HOnestly what good is life without Love? What good is life without God?
I am not satisfied!!! I do not like how things are! I am willing to make it better though!! how?
I love people very much, my family and friends are extremely important to me, and I have no idea what I would do if anything bad happened to any of them... but really, my heart was made for one... I think this goes for my romantic life too, it seems like I can not be liked by anyone, I think that might be because I am custom made for one, so untill I meet him, no one will really like me, or be interested in me..
I have been thinking about how easy it is to be mean to those I love the most. I think the brunt of this maltreatment falls on God, and that makes my heart sad... intimacy should be loving, not a safe release of anger or frustration. If you really love someone you want to be good to them, you aren't selfish about it... you are actually selfless...
I wish I was more powerful, more full of passion, I want the people around me to be drawn closer to the Lord, I want them to see this all consuming fire come out in everything that I do... I want so much to be more for the one that I love...
It saddens me that even now when I am trying to talk about how much I need God, and how amazing He is that I use the word "I" about a million times... It is sad how this world stifles me, I shouldn't be stifleable!!! I want to give everything to Him, I am sick of being self serving, it get's me no where... HOnestly what good is life without Love? What good is life without God?
I am not satisfied!!! I do not like how things are! I am willing to make it better though!! how?