i am important.

[catholicgirl7]

i'm tired of being nice.
i can't be nice any longer.
he gave me the apartment keys and my car key back before he left this morning.
i told him as he was walking out, "when i get my money (266.98), you can get your stuff."
which, i must tell you, that amount is probably being generous.

most of the reason i did this is because he got stoned last night. busted.
sorry man, you f*ck up, and i'm going to f*ck you up further.
and this time, i'm not backing down.
i'm not going to let you make me feel guilty, and feel like i'm a horrible person.
no, i don't want it to be like this.
but i have to change.
i have to start taking care of me.
me is more important than you.
yes, i want to be your friend.
but obviously we can't be friends right now.
so go f*ck off.

okay, i feel better now.
i needed to vent a little.
thanks for reading.
:-D

--------------------------------------------------------------------

playing in a district poker tournament this afternoon.
i feel like i'm in the right frame of mind.
he will be there.
but i'm in the right frame of mind.

oh Lord, give me the cards.
you know that i could use the money.
and the satisfaction in knowing that i won.
or at least did well.
plllllllleeeeeeease don't let it be like the last two district tournaments where i get no cards, and the cards i DO get, don't do shit.
i need this. i need this win.
or maybe i don't? you know what i need and what i don't need.
but i feel like i need this win.
if you agree, please grant it to me.
thanks. i love you.
:-D