Chelsea Handler
Okay, so I LOVE Chelsea Handler. I think she's hilarious (she's from Girls Behaving Badly and has a show, Chelsea Lately)
I bought her books and began reading Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea last night despite my best efforts not to before I went into the hospital. I'm only on page 7 and it's hilarious. A lot of it is funny if you like Chelsea Handler, because you can imagine her saying it, but some things are just funny on their own.
Here are a few:
(from when she was in fifth grade)
I could tell Jason was disappointed and I didn't want to lose his attention, so I hurried to keep him interested. I had always dreamed of being romantically involved with an older man and thought Jason not only had the makings of a wonderful lover, but also a dedicated father to the two black twins I had planned on adopting from Ethiopia.
and
"That's a great idea," I told her as I unbuckled my Ms. Pac-Man lunchbox to find a peanut-butter-and-cream-cheese sandwich. "What the hell is this?" I asked, unwrapping it and then slamming in down on the table. "My parents are the worst."
Jodi and I had been friends since kindergarten, so she was used to this kind of mix-up. As sweet and loving as my mother was, she had the organizational skills of a sea lion and could never remember to make me lunch. So every morning I had to tell my father to make it for me. He, in turn, had the culinary skills of a sea lion, and no matter how many times I repeated the phrase "peanut butter and jelly," he always somehow managed to fuck it up.
Anyone else, besides littlewoman like Chelsea Handler?