just venting
an open letter to the a-hole that lives below me.
dear sir,
i wanted to take the time out of my day to thank you personally for calling the management company of our building to complain about the noise happening above you. i find this remarkable because you called not once, but according to the manager we spoke to on the phone, many many times. thank you for being so obnoxious that they sent out a letter to us regarding the noise, just to shut you up.
you may want to know how i know this. i know this because after reading said letter, we had the presence of mind to call them and find out what the problem was specifically and find out what we can do to rectify it. it turns out, the woman said, you called multiple times to complain about the floors squeaking-- not only during the day, but at night when my boyfriend comes home from work. the manager then explained to us that you had been something of a pest in the one week since you had moved in and that we surely had nothing to worry about. she is, you see, quick to understand your irrationality.
alas, i worry. maybe its the pregnancy hormones surging through my bloodstream at the intensity of methamphetamine but maybe...just...maybe...i worry because i can already see the kind of d-bag you really are. i know you will continue to complain about the floors squeaking. i can see it already. but please allow me to get my 2 cents in: we have never entertained in our home. we dont have people over, we dont play loud music (or any at all for that matter), we dont walk unnecessarily loudly, we dont run and yell and stomp. we simply live up here. most of the time because of my boyfriends schedule, i am here alone so surely the walking you hear must be me on one of my 10 trips to the bathroom a night. now, i dont expect special accommodation to be made for me because im pregnant. i do however, expect to be able to get up to pee at 3 am without having to be scared that you'll complain again and get us evicted because, to quote the letter, "that type of disturbance wont be tolerated" by you . what happens when the baby comes and wakes up at night screaming as babies tend to do? will you call the manager and demand i shake it until it shuts up for you? i do expect my boyfriend to be able to come home from a 13 hour day, take his shoes off at the door and tiptoe into my room to give me and his son a kiss before he finally eats his dinner at 2am. i do expect to be able to get up and get dressed at 420 am when i have to go to work without fear and the knowledge that your are watching me through the peep hole as i creep down the marble stairs. thats right-- your floors squeak too. i know youre there. the light under your door always gives you away.
the thing that astonishes me about you the most is that you chose a prewar building. you chose a prewar building with wood floors. you chose a prewar building with wood floors and a middle building apartment. and you expect quiet. let me explain something to you: we have to live with a hundred other people in harmony and up to now, we have. this building has screaming kids, odd smelling cooking, loud phone talkers, barking dogs and fire alarms and guess what -- its all part of community living in new york city. i am totally astonished by your lack of understanding of the idea that this is not in fact and old folks home and no, we do not watch the Lawrence Welk variety hour on closed caption as to not disturb the coma patients. this is a nice community and we deal with each others shortcomings with tolerance and patience and for gods sake, we dont waste our building managers time with umpteen phone answering machine messages complaining that the upstairs neighbors are walking too much.
to sum it all up neatly for you and in the clearest most concise way i know how: GET OVER YOURSELF. dont like the noise of an apartment building? i guess you never shoulda moved out of your mothers basement. but then again, maybe she was walking too much above you too. kindly blow it out your ass, sir.
warmest regards,
catherinef, apartment D2
dear sir,
i wanted to take the time out of my day to thank you personally for calling the management company of our building to complain about the noise happening above you. i find this remarkable because you called not once, but according to the manager we spoke to on the phone, many many times. thank you for being so obnoxious that they sent out a letter to us regarding the noise, just to shut you up.
you may want to know how i know this. i know this because after reading said letter, we had the presence of mind to call them and find out what the problem was specifically and find out what we can do to rectify it. it turns out, the woman said, you called multiple times to complain about the floors squeaking-- not only during the day, but at night when my boyfriend comes home from work. the manager then explained to us that you had been something of a pest in the one week since you had moved in and that we surely had nothing to worry about. she is, you see, quick to understand your irrationality.
alas, i worry. maybe its the pregnancy hormones surging through my bloodstream at the intensity of methamphetamine but maybe...just...maybe...i worry because i can already see the kind of d-bag you really are. i know you will continue to complain about the floors squeaking. i can see it already. but please allow me to get my 2 cents in: we have never entertained in our home. we dont have people over, we dont play loud music (or any at all for that matter), we dont walk unnecessarily loudly, we dont run and yell and stomp. we simply live up here. most of the time because of my boyfriends schedule, i am here alone so surely the walking you hear must be me on one of my 10 trips to the bathroom a night. now, i dont expect special accommodation to be made for me because im pregnant. i do however, expect to be able to get up to pee at 3 am without having to be scared that you'll complain again and get us evicted because, to quote the letter, "that type of disturbance wont be tolerated" by you . what happens when the baby comes and wakes up at night screaming as babies tend to do? will you call the manager and demand i shake it until it shuts up for you? i do expect my boyfriend to be able to come home from a 13 hour day, take his shoes off at the door and tiptoe into my room to give me and his son a kiss before he finally eats his dinner at 2am. i do expect to be able to get up and get dressed at 420 am when i have to go to work without fear and the knowledge that your are watching me through the peep hole as i creep down the marble stairs. thats right-- your floors squeak too. i know youre there. the light under your door always gives you away.
the thing that astonishes me about you the most is that you chose a prewar building. you chose a prewar building with wood floors. you chose a prewar building with wood floors and a middle building apartment. and you expect quiet. let me explain something to you: we have to live with a hundred other people in harmony and up to now, we have. this building has screaming kids, odd smelling cooking, loud phone talkers, barking dogs and fire alarms and guess what -- its all part of community living in new york city. i am totally astonished by your lack of understanding of the idea that this is not in fact and old folks home and no, we do not watch the Lawrence Welk variety hour on closed caption as to not disturb the coma patients. this is a nice community and we deal with each others shortcomings with tolerance and patience and for gods sake, we dont waste our building managers time with umpteen phone answering machine messages complaining that the upstairs neighbors are walking too much.
to sum it all up neatly for you and in the clearest most concise way i know how: GET OVER YOURSELF. dont like the noise of an apartment building? i guess you never shoulda moved out of your mothers basement. but then again, maybe she was walking too much above you too. kindly blow it out your ass, sir.
warmest regards,
catherinef, apartment D2