10 Ways to Die in a Cool Way
*the orders 1-10 were not made based on order or rank*
#1 : Do a Freefall from the highest building
First you’ve gotta make sure that the highest building in your definition is the same with ‘normal’ people’s definition. Don’t blame anyone if you fail the act and end up with fractured limbs just because you think that 2-storey building is the highest building ever. This can lead to much news publicity about how unwise you are and everything. Believe me, none of them are good news.
Next thing you want to make sure is that when you jump, you are not attached to any rope or cable. You’re not about to do Bungee Jumping. Please remember your intention.
#2: Drown yourself
If you feel that you have this emotional connection towards water / nature, you can always try this method. First thing to do is observation. Observe the place in where you want to do it. You may want to opt for historical places like a river under the famous bridge, that beautiful lake with the nice view around or even the sea. All options are available.
And the next thing is, for attention whores and drama queens; you may want to do it with style. Walk to the middle of the water can really be a great idea. Plus! It adds up the suspense. Ah! The thrill!!
Another option is to use a boat or ship or yacht, (anything available, don’t sweat too much for these unimportant things) and jump into the deep water. Remember to shout this legendary line, “Goodbye, cruel world!” And, you die in style.
To make the process even faster and less pain to bear with, and no lifeguard has even the slightest chance to save you and make your first embarrassing appearance on first page of national newspaper regarding your fail attempt of suicide; just follow this one simple tip. Tie a block of concrete to your feet. I repeat, block of concrete, not a floating jacket. Hell, THAT’S a lot of difference. Even though you wish to do suicide, doesn’t mean that you’re dumb, aren’t you?
#3 : Go for a Train Walk
No, this is different from the one you see from Dora the Explorer movie. And no, you don’t go anywhere by train, if that’s what you’re thinking of right now. Definition of train walk in this context is that you walk; yes, with both your feet that is. How could you not understand that? I mean, even a 4 years old baby would understand it perfectly.
Anyway. Where was I? Oh, okay. So, you walk. Walk in the middle of a railway and try to get hit by a passing train. First thing to remember is that, you must check the train schedule. Be careful to not mistakenly choose the wrong route. Or wait in the middle of an abandoned railway. That’ll make you look stupid and you will need forever just to die. And you will die in a boring common way. Hey, what’s the fun in that?
#4 : Drown yourself (extended version)
If you have a serious issue in doing public stunt in committing suicide, you being the shy person and all, you can try this way. Drown yourself in a large tub. Put in mind that the tub you use must have enough size for all of your limbs to fit in. So you won’t find a problem with knocking over the counter or something. Or end up dead in a very un-cool way, legs bended in awkward position or such. This won’t look good in headline news photos, in any photo-shoot angle.
The only problem is that drowning yourself in a bath tub can really waste your time. From the observations I’ve done, I’ve found a really good tips for this. You may want to put a poisonous jellyfish to swim in the bath tub and sting you to death. Or better yet, if you have a hairdryer, plug and turn it on then drop it into the tub. Voila! You’re dead. The stings and electrocutes may hurt a bit but it definitely saves the time. Plus! Your body and all of your organs are well reserved so that you can donate them all for those in needs. Perfect.
#5: Play Hangman
There are things you must prepare before you do the stunt. Firstly you need to decide whether you want it to be private or you want all the drama, being the drama queen you are. If you decide it will be private, you can do it in your very own bedroom. The consequence is that if you have a short list of friends or worse, if you have none which is a common issue, by the way. It will be ages until your body is found by someone. If that’s the case, you probably want to choose the latter.
The locations may vary. It ranges from public places like the tree behind your school or your work place, in the public library where you can find tall ceilings everywhere or in one of the stalls in the public restrooms which will be easily found in malls or restaurants. Oh, you will surely be in news headline the next day.
Next thing you need to assure are the tools. The most important tool you need is the rope. It’s not necessary to use one kind of rope; the options are vary also for this. You can use cable, tie, shoelace, ribbon (if you are that type of person) or even phone cord. Be creative with it. Any size is acceptable, but make sure the size is correct; not too long nor too short. You may want to take size on your height and the compare it with where you will commit the act. If the lash is too long, you won’t reach your goal.
Next tool that will probably need is a stool, chair, ladder or even a box for you to stand and prepare yourself. Again, it’s not essential. Please be creative.
#6: Poison Ivy is poisonous
Do you study Biology? Or Chemistry? If you do, then this might be a good idea for you.
If you learn your lesson correctly, you’ll find out many plants around you that are very useful, especially at this kind of thing. I didn’t learn Biology very well at school back then, so I can’t suggest you many ideas here.
Read your textbooks and do your research, okay!!
#7: Do it the warrior’s way (Hara-kiri!)
Once I stumbled upon one article about this act which I think is very brave. Why? Well, lemme tell you the history first. (I’m in one of my story-telling mood right now)
So, long time ago Seppuku (Hara-Kiri) was a key part of bushido, the code of the samurai warriors; it was used by warriors to avoid falling into enemy hands, and to attenuate shame. Samurai could also be ordered by their daimyo (feudal lords) to commit seppuku. Later, disgraced warriors were sometimes allowed to commit seppuku rather than be executed in the normal manner. Since the main point of the act was to restore or protect one’s honor as a warrior, those who did not belong to the samurai caste were never ordered or expected to commit seppuku. Samurai women could only commit the act with permission.
A Samurai was bathed, dressed in white robes, fed his favorite meal, and when he was finished, his instrument was placed on his plate. Dressed ceremonially, with his sword placed in front of him and sometimes seated on special cloths, the warrior would prepare for death by writing a death poem. With his selected attendant (kaishakunin, his second) standing by, he would open his kimono (clothing), take up his tantō (knife) and plunge it into his abdomen, making a left-to-right cut. The kaishakunin would then perform daki-kubi, a cut in which the warrior was all but decapitated (a slight band of flesh is left attaching the head to the body).
So, what do you think? Are you brave enough to take a knife (Oh yes, you must make sure it’s very sharp), stab your left stomach, and make a horizontal cut to the right side? Woah, that needs a LOT of courage if you ask me. Still, it’s kinda cool.
#8: Do it the warrior’s way (Hara-kiri!) - extended version
So the idea itself is the same with above, what makes it different is about the tool. If the ideas of a sharp knife and cutting your stomach in half make you feel nauseous, try other tool. A gun will be a good choice.
Hold it onto your temple, either left or right, it doesn’t matter. Pull the trigger and BAM! You’re dead. You can also use the fancy way and place it in a complicated plan with wires or remote control or such. For further reference, some action movies might be helpful.
#9: Hire a Hitman
This way is specifically dedicated to those who are filthy rich. Hire them can cost you a lot, especially if you use the service of a professional.
The thrill and the waiting part are some of the excitement you’ll experience from this. Definitely worth it.
#10: Cut your wrist
Last, but not the least. For those of you who have no problems with seeing or smelling blood and don’t mind to get a little bit nasty, you may want to try this. The cutting through your vein is the easy part; the hardest is gathering enough courage to do it. When you put the sharp knife (it doesn’t have to be knife, anyway) onto your wrist you may feel a little bit nauseous and maybe that conscience will eventually kick in and you might want to cancel it. That’s why this kind of act will not be appropriate for the weak-hearted.
Although for you who still want to do it, maybe you want to prepare a blindfold. And a very sharp tool to cut. There’s a wide range of tools you can pick from a simple kitchen knife, paper cutter, glass or even scissors, whichever suits you the best. Just make sure that it’s super sharp.
The advantage of this is that it can be done almost anywhere. Convenience, above anything, must be the first thing you consider when it comes to suicide.
A/N:
This was done for the purpose of comedy/crack/humor. I don’t propose/advise/suggest anyone to actually do it. Regardless of every bitchy thing happens in your life, your life is still worth living. Suicide is not and never an answer for anything. Life is too precious to waste. So please read with ease and laughter and don’t think over this too much. I’ll feel very guilty if you do that.
#4 was heavily inspired by the movie “Seven Pounds” where Will Smith put large number of ice and jellyfish together with himself in a hotel bath tub because of his guiltiness. Epic movie if I may say *shudders*
#7 source from : http://listverse.com/2007/08/12/top-10-bizarre-traditions/
Also, this is a part of my How To… Series. If you want to shower me with ideas, please do.
#1 : Do a Freefall from the highest building
First you’ve gotta make sure that the highest building in your definition is the same with ‘normal’ people’s definition. Don’t blame anyone if you fail the act and end up with fractured limbs just because you think that 2-storey building is the highest building ever. This can lead to much news publicity about how unwise you are and everything. Believe me, none of them are good news.
Next thing you want to make sure is that when you jump, you are not attached to any rope or cable. You’re not about to do Bungee Jumping. Please remember your intention.
#2: Drown yourself
If you feel that you have this emotional connection towards water / nature, you can always try this method. First thing to do is observation. Observe the place in where you want to do it. You may want to opt for historical places like a river under the famous bridge, that beautiful lake with the nice view around or even the sea. All options are available.
And the next thing is, for attention whores and drama queens; you may want to do it with style. Walk to the middle of the water can really be a great idea. Plus! It adds up the suspense. Ah! The thrill!!
Another option is to use a boat or ship or yacht, (anything available, don’t sweat too much for these unimportant things) and jump into the deep water. Remember to shout this legendary line, “Goodbye, cruel world!” And, you die in style.
To make the process even faster and less pain to bear with, and no lifeguard has even the slightest chance to save you and make your first embarrassing appearance on first page of national newspaper regarding your fail attempt of suicide; just follow this one simple tip. Tie a block of concrete to your feet. I repeat, block of concrete, not a floating jacket. Hell, THAT’S a lot of difference. Even though you wish to do suicide, doesn’t mean that you’re dumb, aren’t you?
#3 : Go for a Train Walk
No, this is different from the one you see from Dora the Explorer movie. And no, you don’t go anywhere by train, if that’s what you’re thinking of right now. Definition of train walk in this context is that you walk; yes, with both your feet that is. How could you not understand that? I mean, even a 4 years old baby would understand it perfectly.
Anyway. Where was I? Oh, okay. So, you walk. Walk in the middle of a railway and try to get hit by a passing train. First thing to remember is that, you must check the train schedule. Be careful to not mistakenly choose the wrong route. Or wait in the middle of an abandoned railway. That’ll make you look stupid and you will need forever just to die. And you will die in a boring common way. Hey, what’s the fun in that?
#4 : Drown yourself (extended version)
If you have a serious issue in doing public stunt in committing suicide, you being the shy person and all, you can try this way. Drown yourself in a large tub. Put in mind that the tub you use must have enough size for all of your limbs to fit in. So you won’t find a problem with knocking over the counter or something. Or end up dead in a very un-cool way, legs bended in awkward position or such. This won’t look good in headline news photos, in any photo-shoot angle.
The only problem is that drowning yourself in a bath tub can really waste your time. From the observations I’ve done, I’ve found a really good tips for this. You may want to put a poisonous jellyfish to swim in the bath tub and sting you to death. Or better yet, if you have a hairdryer, plug and turn it on then drop it into the tub. Voila! You’re dead. The stings and electrocutes may hurt a bit but it definitely saves the time. Plus! Your body and all of your organs are well reserved so that you can donate them all for those in needs. Perfect.
#5: Play Hangman
There are things you must prepare before you do the stunt. Firstly you need to decide whether you want it to be private or you want all the drama, being the drama queen you are. If you decide it will be private, you can do it in your very own bedroom. The consequence is that if you have a short list of friends or worse, if you have none which is a common issue, by the way. It will be ages until your body is found by someone. If that’s the case, you probably want to choose the latter.
The locations may vary. It ranges from public places like the tree behind your school or your work place, in the public library where you can find tall ceilings everywhere or in one of the stalls in the public restrooms which will be easily found in malls or restaurants. Oh, you will surely be in news headline the next day.
Next thing you need to assure are the tools. The most important tool you need is the rope. It’s not necessary to use one kind of rope; the options are vary also for this. You can use cable, tie, shoelace, ribbon (if you are that type of person) or even phone cord. Be creative with it. Any size is acceptable, but make sure the size is correct; not too long nor too short. You may want to take size on your height and the compare it with where you will commit the act. If the lash is too long, you won’t reach your goal.
Next tool that will probably need is a stool, chair, ladder or even a box for you to stand and prepare yourself. Again, it’s not essential. Please be creative.
#6: Poison Ivy is poisonous
Do you study Biology? Or Chemistry? If you do, then this might be a good idea for you.
If you learn your lesson correctly, you’ll find out many plants around you that are very useful, especially at this kind of thing. I didn’t learn Biology very well at school back then, so I can’t suggest you many ideas here.
Read your textbooks and do your research, okay!!
#7: Do it the warrior’s way (Hara-kiri!)
Once I stumbled upon one article about this act which I think is very brave. Why? Well, lemme tell you the history first. (I’m in one of my story-telling mood right now)
So, long time ago Seppuku (Hara-Kiri) was a key part of bushido, the code of the samurai warriors; it was used by warriors to avoid falling into enemy hands, and to attenuate shame. Samurai could also be ordered by their daimyo (feudal lords) to commit seppuku. Later, disgraced warriors were sometimes allowed to commit seppuku rather than be executed in the normal manner. Since the main point of the act was to restore or protect one’s honor as a warrior, those who did not belong to the samurai caste were never ordered or expected to commit seppuku. Samurai women could only commit the act with permission.
A Samurai was bathed, dressed in white robes, fed his favorite meal, and when he was finished, his instrument was placed on his plate. Dressed ceremonially, with his sword placed in front of him and sometimes seated on special cloths, the warrior would prepare for death by writing a death poem. With his selected attendant (kaishakunin, his second) standing by, he would open his kimono (clothing), take up his tantō (knife) and plunge it into his abdomen, making a left-to-right cut. The kaishakunin would then perform daki-kubi, a cut in which the warrior was all but decapitated (a slight band of flesh is left attaching the head to the body).
So, what do you think? Are you brave enough to take a knife (Oh yes, you must make sure it’s very sharp), stab your left stomach, and make a horizontal cut to the right side? Woah, that needs a LOT of courage if you ask me. Still, it’s kinda cool.
#8: Do it the warrior’s way (Hara-kiri!) - extended version
So the idea itself is the same with above, what makes it different is about the tool. If the ideas of a sharp knife and cutting your stomach in half make you feel nauseous, try other tool. A gun will be a good choice.
Hold it onto your temple, either left or right, it doesn’t matter. Pull the trigger and BAM! You’re dead. You can also use the fancy way and place it in a complicated plan with wires or remote control or such. For further reference, some action movies might be helpful.
#9: Hire a Hitman
This way is specifically dedicated to those who are filthy rich. Hire them can cost you a lot, especially if you use the service of a professional.
The thrill and the waiting part are some of the excitement you’ll experience from this. Definitely worth it.
#10: Cut your wrist
Last, but not the least. For those of you who have no problems with seeing or smelling blood and don’t mind to get a little bit nasty, you may want to try this. The cutting through your vein is the easy part; the hardest is gathering enough courage to do it. When you put the sharp knife (it doesn’t have to be knife, anyway) onto your wrist you may feel a little bit nauseous and maybe that conscience will eventually kick in and you might want to cancel it. That’s why this kind of act will not be appropriate for the weak-hearted.
Although for you who still want to do it, maybe you want to prepare a blindfold. And a very sharp tool to cut. There’s a wide range of tools you can pick from a simple kitchen knife, paper cutter, glass or even scissors, whichever suits you the best. Just make sure that it’s super sharp.
The advantage of this is that it can be done almost anywhere. Convenience, above anything, must be the first thing you consider when it comes to suicide.
A/N:
This was done for the purpose of comedy/crack/humor. I don’t propose/advise/suggest anyone to actually do it. Regardless of every bitchy thing happens in your life, your life is still worth living. Suicide is not and never an answer for anything. Life is too precious to waste. So please read with ease and laughter and don’t think over this too much. I’ll feel very guilty if you do that.
#4 was heavily inspired by the movie “Seven Pounds” where Will Smith put large number of ice and jellyfish together with himself in a hotel bath tub because of his guiltiness. Epic movie if I may say *shudders*
#7 source from : http://listverse.com/2007/08/12/top-10-bizarre-traditions/
Also, this is a part of my How To… Series. If you want to shower me with ideas, please do.